Page 74 of Forbidden Vows

I arrived back at her place—alone. Then I cried myself to sleep. I didn’t even hear her come in from work; she was gone when I woke up. I’ve spent today on the couch, where I’ve pretty much not moved since I planted myself here.

It’s only been a day or so, and it's hard to tell with travel and time change, but already I long for the estate, breakfasts in the garden, the breeze off the lake, and the snowcapped mountains in the distance.

A feeling of homesickness swells in my belly. I knew I would miss him, but not like this.

Blaze embodies heat, light, power, and sex. However, he’s also an awkward bowler, a fan of kids' movies, and an exceptionally thoughtful man. He might be one of the most considerate people I know.

And yes, he’s gorgeous. People say looks don’t matter, but they do. Ever since I’ve been wearing nicer clothes and using the hair and makeup products the Beauties gave me, random men have started holding the door open for me when they never had before.

If Blaze had to wear a paper bag over his head for the rest of his life, I’d still want to be with him, and we’d laugh about the bag. I'd still want him if he gets old, gains a hundred pounds, or loses all his dark wavy hair. I think he’d look pretty cute with a dad bod.

If he got hit by a train and lost his legs, I’d happily push his wheelchair.

So, maybethat’swhat people mean when they say looks don’t matter.

Still, I can’t get the image of that woman leaving his hotel room out of my mind. Meeting a stranger and sleeping with her hours later was nothing to him. I have to know someone’s favorite everything before I can even let them touch me intimately.

He’s had so many partners. How could he not grow bored?

Is that why he told me I need a Nathan? Because he thinks I need a guy as vanilla as me to be happy? Well, joke’s on you, buddy! I liked your finger in my butt…

Oh GOD. Where am I going with this?

I’m starting to hate myself. I’m weak and insecure. I made my decision. I put a clear expiration date on us and I need to stick to it.

“Where are you, Seraphina?” I call to the empty apartment. She’ll know what to say. “Please come and save me from myself!”

Finally, I hear Seraphina arriving home, a jangle of keys, an opening door, and her familiar tinkling voice calling, “Yoo hoo! Hey, roomie.”

Oh, thank goodness. “Hi!” I call back. “I’m in the living room.” She’ll set me straight.

“Sulking?” she asks.

“How’d you know?”

She peeks around the corner with a grin. “Let me change and I’ll be right in.”

“K.” I slump back into the cushions.

She comes back dressed in silk pajamas, holding a box of cookies because she’s that kind of friend. “Sorry, I missed you last night, but you were snoring by the time I got in.” She hands me two chocolate chip ones.

“Thank you,” I say, crunching through my misery.

She stares at me out of her powerful side eye. “You love that boy.”

“I know.” I heave a sigh after releasing the confession.

“Then what the hell are you doing on my couch, sulking?” She shakes her head, curls bouncing. “You should be in Italy.”

“It would never work out.”

“Why not? You’re a catch. Wifey material. And he’s,” she fans herself. “Well, you know I think he’s a 100-degree hottie.”

“What do you think about him?” I ask. “You were watching us like a hawk. You have to have an opinion.” She gives me a look. Seraphina doesn’t like to go deep. I give her my special look—pleading kitten eyes. “Come on. Tell me.”

“Fine.” She slouches back on the couch. “I’ll admit when I took my lady folds glasses off, I had reservations about him, especially when we first got to Italy.”

So that’s why the side eyes in the Escalade. “Why?”

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