Page 131 of A Captive Situation

“That’s when you dropped out.” My mom again, softly. “You moved after that.”

Maude hung her head, not looking at anyone. “I’m fine with, you know. What he did, it wasn’t that bad, but it would have gotten worse. Mom didn’t want to deal with it. She wanted me to apologize to him for making up that lie. I wasn’t lying. I—I vowed then and there I was done with the family. I’m sorry.”

My heart broke. For her. For the years of separation that started from that day on.

Graham whispered to me, “I never met Grandma and Grandpa. What were they like?”

Graham knew. This, what his mom just shared, it wasn’t a secret to him.

I said back, “You knew?”

“Our grandparents?”

“No. What she just said.”

“Oh.” A shadow crossed his face before he blinked it away, some wetness appearing in its wake. “Yes. She’s always advocated that we respect our boundaries around people. She explained the reasons why. It broke my heart knowing what happened to her, but I didn’t know the part about Grandma. I didn’t know it was the reason for all of this. I ...” His voice grew hoarse. “Were they like that? Grandma and Grandpa?”

I met my mom’s gaze. She’d overheard us, and she drew in a sad smile. She said for me, “They were, yes.”

Graham and Oliver looked her way. The rest quieted.

My mom added, “I don’t like to speak ill of the dead, but they weren’t understanding. I had no idea something happened to my sister, but I knew I didn’t quite trust my little girl around them. We kept away to protect Sawyer. Then they passed and I didn’t see a reason to talkabout that, about them.” She glanced in Maude’s direction. “I regret that now. I wished I’d known, Maude.”

“It’s not ... It’s not just that. I’m okay. I really am. I healed from what that teacher did. Got counseling, but Mom and Dad have been gone. I could’ve come back. I—just—” Maude spoke again. “I’m not like the three of you. I don’t fit in. I never have been—”

Phyllis murmured, “Oh, Maude. I’m so sorry—”

“Don’t sorry her!” Clara’s voice hitched high. “I’m sorry for what happened to you. I am. And I’m going to want his name, but if I’d known back then, I would’ve done something. To the teacher, to Mom. It wouldn’t have flown if I’d known, but they’ve been gone for years. You stayed away. We’re all different. I mean, look at me, for one. I’m not supposed to fit in. That’s what the rest of the world tells me. Kum-bay-fucking-yah. You think most people look at me and think, ‘Yeah, her. I’m going to only include her.’ News flash: None of us are those types of people.”

Aunt Bess was nodding with everything Clara was saying. “You decided to stay away.”

“If anyone doesn’t fit in, it’s Phyllis.” Clara gestured to my mom, her voice rising. “Look at her. She’s churchy and pretty and she cares what people think of her. She’s the one that fits in with the world, but shouldn’t fit in with us.”

My mom was nodding also, blinking back tears until that. “Wait. What? Are you saying I don’t fit in? That’s—I fit in. I—I—that’s my problem, I fit in so much. I’m trying not to fit in so much.” A sheen of sweat formed on her forehead.

This whole mending conversation was going sideways. I cocked my head, wondering if I should say something, steer it back.

Clara puffed up her chest. “I love you, Phyll, but get over it. You fit in with society. I don’t.” She motioned toward Maude and Bess. “We don’t. We don’t uphold society’s beauty standards. That’s just one of the ways. I’m loud. I want my opinion heard. No one’s going to tell me to be quiet. I’m a big woman.”

Bess spoke up. “You’re curvy. Like me.”

Clara threw her a look. “I’m tough. That’s what I care about. I don’t give a fuck if my arms aren’t twigs. I got personality. I got a good sense of don’t fuck with me. And I can take care of shit. No one messes with me. That’s what I like. And I like me. The world looks at me and tells me that I’m not supposed to like me, but fuck ’em. I do. It’s my life. I live it how I want to. No one else does. I’m good with that.”

“Me too.” Bess shared a smile with Clara. “I think I might want to marry again. I tried it once, but he wasn’t the one for me. I’ve been eyeing that Joe fellow.”

Clara raised her chin up. “The one who runs the farming equipment store in town?”

“That’s the one. He has coffee down at Bear Paws Coffee. I see him every morning. We’ve started sitting together and doing crossword puzzles. I like him. I let him fing—”

“Oh! No. Please, Aunt Bess.” Graham’s hold on me tightened. He looked a little green around his mouth. “Can we—” He coughed, clearing his throat.

I spoke up, letting myself enjoy this. “I don’t think we need to hear the details, but good for you, Aunt Bess.” I gave her a thumbs-up.

Clara started laughing. “Anyways. We’re all weird. It’s how we are. I don’t give a fuck. You shouldn’t either, Maude. You can’t keep away from us. Not anymore.” She motioned to where I stood with Graham and Oliver. “We met your boy and his husband. The cousins have teamed up together. It’s only a matter of time before Sawyer gets back and hunts down your other girls—”

“And Blake,” Maude interjected.

Blake. My heart took a dip.

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