Page 80 of A Captive Situation

Had I been brainwashed? Was that it? Or just ... Had I just never been shown differently? I didn’t know what made my heart soar. Now I only wanted to do things that made my heart soar, and fucking Jake was one of those things. Christ. He made everything in me soar. I was on a high right now. Fevered.

My most exciting date with Beck was glow-in-the-dark mini golf, and he wanted to go because he had a fetish about getting a blow job behind the Eiffel Tower.

I was trying not to go and fuck Jake right now because I needed to stay mad at him, chew his ass because he had me drugged to take me away from my family.

There was no comparison.I was fully fucking awake. Life—I wanted it badly. I wanted everything about it.

More laughter poured out.

My sides were hurting, and I gasped, holding on to them, but that made me laugh even harder. I wasn’t a good laugher. I couldn’t breathe, and somehow that made me cough, and then that could lead me tothrowing up. Crying was similar, except if I cried too hard, I’d get clogged up and then I couldn’t breathe either. My body didn’t want me swinging either way too much.

“Sawyer?” Jake was on the other side of the door. “Are you crying?”

God. Just that, that question. Beck would’ve been annoyed if he needed to take time out to come and check on me.

Christ. He never had.

That stunned me, because he really never checked on me.

How was Ijustrealizingthat?

My family loved me. They rallied around me. It wasn’t that I grew up thinking I wasn’t worthy of love, but I’d stayed. That’s what I grieved the most. That I stayed.

That I accepted something less for myself than I should’ve.

Never again. I was never settling again. I would only accept what made my heart race.

I couldn’t answer Jake. I couldn’t move either. I was wheezing so bad that my nose was starting to get clogged up.

The doorknob started to turn, but stopped. I’d locked it without thinking.

“Babe. Let me in.”

I didn’t move except to lie down, my arms wrapped tight around my sides.

All those years wasted.

Thud!

He pounded on the door. “Sawyer.” His voice went low in a warning. “If you don’t open this door, I will break it down.”

Another peal of laughter streamed out of me.

Bang!

The door cracked off the hinges in the top corner.

I jumped at the violence. If that fell, I’d need to scoot back past the counter so it wouldn’t fall on me, but before it could fall any farther, Jake reached around and hauled it up with another strong heave. It came completely off. He pulled it toward him, letting it fall in thebedroom. Taking its place in the doorway, his hands went to his side, fisting. There was a wildness in his eyes.

Then, all the hard lines on him relaxed. His eyes closed for a second. “You’re laughing.”

“I’m sorry—” I was trying to control myself, but a few hiccups came next.

He looked adorable now that he knew I was fine. His dark hair was tousled a bit on the top. He’d not shaven in a couple days, so he had a good scruff on his face, giving him an even edgier appeal which contrasted almost beautifully against the soft lines around his eyes and mouth. Looking all sleepy again, with that nicely muscled and smooth chest, and his tats. His one arm was a total sleeve of intricate lines.

He reached over to idly scratch at his chest.

It gave me a better view of the tat that took up his entire right side. The set of justice scales had a sword that ran down the middle of the tattoo and his side. A skull was at the top with blood dripping down from the handle. There were other details on it, words and more, but he was moving again.

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