Page 42 of Always Murder

The other, bigger problem was that I didn’t knowwhatwas wrong with the plot.

People approached plotting a novel in a lot of different ways.Some of them were meticulous planners.Others wrote without any preparation at all (what other writers calledpantsers, in the sense that they wrote ‘flying by the seat of their pants’).I was definitely of the let’s-not-do-extra-work school of thought, and so I hadn’t written an outline.Which, for me, was probably best.You know what I figured out about myself early on?If I didn’t want to write, the best excuse wasI’m still working on my outline.See, that’s the beauty of outlines.They always need more work.They’re a perfectionist’s best friend (and, for that matter, a procrastinator’s).Of course, then I figured out what was even better than working on an outline: video games.

But even if a writer didn’t outline, most of us had some sense of a story’s structure, which was largely determined by its plot.And something was wrong with mine.

See, plots are made up of big events and little events.The big events are the ones that change the trajectory of the story—like, the detective goes to meet an informant, only to be cornered by thugs from the local mob.That’s a big event.Those were the ones that needed to be absolutely right.And in a murder mystery, the big events usually had to do with, well, a murder.

And that was where I was running into a problem.

It might sound simple.You might be thinking,Put the dead body at the beginning, dummy.But it’snotthat simple.Sure, in some books, that’s how things start.One of the Travis McGee books kicks off when a woman tries to hire Travis and gets killedwhile she’s hiring him.(Then the body disappears—it’s a good book.)

But sometimes, the first dead body doesn’t show up until later.Matt Scudder books usually work this way—someone hires him, and then while Matt’s wandering around New York, he finds a dead body.In one of them, he helps a woman escape from her, uh, night entrepreneur, but then she gets killed.(And then Matt is determined to get justice for her, obviously.Also a good book.)

And sometimes the dead body showed up evenlater.In Vivienne’sDeath in the House of Mirrors(that’s Vivienne Carver, by the way—the one who tried to kill me), Mrs.Minty is the first victim, and she doesn’t die until halfway through the book.And because Vivienne was a better author than she was a murderess, it’s fantastically well-timed—the midpoint of the book is often called the mirror moment, when a disaster forces the protagonist to see themselves anew and face (or begin to face) some hard truths.InDeath in the House of Mirrors, Vivienne’s protagonist, Genevieve Webster, has to confront her own overconfidence as the Matron of Murder, which has led to Mrs.Minty’s death.(It’s a watershed moment in the series, and it’s Vivienne at her best.)

There were even some stories that put the first death or murderbefore the book even started.How’s that for mind-blowing?Rebeccais like that, because Daphne du Maurier was a genius.Rebecca’s death, which happens before the book begins, shadows every single event that comes after.Cold case mysteries also work that way.Agatha Christie’sNemesisis another great, Golden Age example.

All of which was to say: I had too many options.

(Also, I had a momentary flash of what I thought was genius—what if the murder happensafter the book is over???Then I realized that made no sense.)

Let’s be frank: it wasn’t a productive day.

And believe it or not, eventually, if you waste enough time, you reallycanread everything onCrime Cats(it’s a website, and it’s exactly what it sounds like).(Also, side note: there was a whole article on a tabby who committedgrand theft gato, and it was as cute and clever as the title suggests.)

Which was how I ended up thinking about that idiot Paul again.

Part of me wanted to call it quits.From the beginning of this, Paul had been less than helpful.He’d lied about the incident at work withSuper Smash Bros.Ultimate.He’d disappeared.And now, I learned, he’d been broadcasting his deliveries—with guesses about what was inside each package—to the entire universe.

Although—as Bobby had pointed out—it was more likely that the live stream had gone out to the grand total of three people who were bored or stupid enough to watch Paul’s live stream.

(And yes, I’m aware of the irony, with me readingCrime Cats, etc., etc.)

An idea popped into my head, and I struggled to sit up.(Crime Catsis best read lying down, snuggled up, and in what is generally the coziest of all human positions.) I grabbed my phone, found Paul’s YouTube account, and clicked on his followers.Well, tried to click on them.Because YouTube is rude, it wouldn’t let me see who Paul’s eight followers were.

When I played one of Paul’s videos that he’d recorded in his truck, though, the comments were a different story.Public opinion to the contrary, I’m not a super sleuth, and I don’t spend my time doing brilliant, super-sleuth things (like anagrams or mathematical proofs or unbreakable encryption).But you didn’t have to be a genius to figure out that naughtymommy71, for example, was clearly Christine.(Her only comment on the video wasDon’t forget to stop for milk and eggs on your way home.) I was willing to go out on a ledge and say user frenchfryanOR was, well, Ryan.He’d commented,everybody subscribe to my channel too!!!Paul sucks!!jk.(Ryan was not my favorite, er, french fry, but I had to admit that was a cute name.) And naught.millie was, well, Millie.Her comment was…extensive.She started off by talking about Paul’s hair, and by the end, the comment had wandered down memory lane to talk about a time Paul had gotten in trouble for breaking a window.It was what the brother- and sisterhood of writers would generously callstream of consciousness.

The only other comment was from muskyotter5796, which suggested either someone with a love of otters or (please, God) someone who had used some sort of random generator to come up with a name.The comment said,any jewelry?

Well, if that didn’t make all my super-sleuth alarms go off.

Paul’s reply was slightly more eye roll-inducing:I got you!Thanks for subscribing!

I tried to backtrack muskyotter’s profile, but it was a dead end—the account was set to private, and even if it hadn’t been, it was clearly a throwaway account.

When I examined Paul’s videos again, I didn’t see any comments from Paul’s other subscribers.But Ididfind several more comments from muskyotter.They were…incriminating, to say the least.They were always short.Always to the point.Always—to probably anyone except Paul Naught—clearly bad news.LikeHold the box higherandWe can’t read the addressandHow do you know it’s electronics?

How had this not come up before?But I had my answer almost immediately: because no one had looked for it.The people at CPF had either been involved at some level—I still hadn’t gotten over my vibe that something was off with Luz Hernandez—or had genuinely suspected Paul from the start.No official complaint had been made to the sheriff’s office, which meant there hadn’t been a law enforcement investigation.And since nobody but Paul had been reading his YouTube comments, there hadn’t been any reason for someone to suspect.

Of course, there was the rather obviousotherquestion: how had Sissy known about Paul’s videos?Sissy was clearly smart.She was also—apparently—a criminal mastermind.She claimed that her family had only gotten involved to warn Paul off their territory, but had she shown us Paul’s live streams to throw us off the scent, so to speak?

I didn’t know.I would have liked to talk to Paul.Preferably with a length of rubber hose.

But what Ididknow was that several people in the Naught family had known about these live streams.And I was starting to suspect someone in that house was lying to me.

Chapter 14

Since the Naught family had apparently made an outing to a winery that day, I had some time to kill before I could interrogate—er, interview them.And I had an idea of how to do it.

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