Page 3 of A Dead End Wedding

“Well, I … you can do better?”

He avoided my gaze. “I, ah, was dating a lady from Miami. She said she doesn’t like dogs! Who doesn’t like dogs?”

Anastasia barked.

I agreed with Anastasia. I wouldn’t have dated anybody who didn’t like cats. Heh. Not a problem, now that I was engaged to one.

“What do you want for it, if, hypothetically, I’m interested?”

He named a figure that made me flinch.

“I don’t think so, Mr. Volkov. I know people who buy magical items, but that’s kind of high.”

He nodded, took the collar off the counter, and fastened it around Anastasia’s neck just above the collar she already wore.

We all looked at Anastasia.

The dog looked back at us.

Silence.

“Well, maybe another?—”

“COOKIES,” Anastasia said, looking from me to the counter and back to me.

When they first came in, I’d given her a cookie from a box I kept behind the counter before, and Borzois were exceptionally smart dogs, but …

“COOKIES PLEASE NOW,” the dog said, in a surprisingly gentle voice coming from a dog that was half my height and weighed almost as much as I did.

“Anastasia? Is that you?” I had to ask. Maybe the collar just spit out random phrases. “If it’s really you, who is your owner?”

Silence.

I sighed. It had been exciting for a minute.

“No, no, no,” Mr. Volkov rumbled. “I don’t call myself that word. Ask her who her P A P A is.”

“I need to spell it?”

“No, but I didn’t want you to think I’m telling her how to answer.”

This made sense to me, which was frightening. “Okay. Anastasia, who is your papa?”

The gorgeous dog immediately walked back to Mr. Volkov and sat down next to him.

“PAPA. NICE LADY CAT SMELLS GIVE COOKIES NOW.”

I probably did smell like my cat to a dog.

I gave her a cookie.

Eleanor clapped her hands together. “This is amazing! It’s like making first contact with aliens. We could actually discover what dogs think of the world. What they think of us. What?—”

Mr. Volkov cut her off with an upraised hand. “Not so much. Anastasia, what do you think of people?”

“COOKIE. BACON.”

“What do you think of the world?”

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