Page 25 of Hidden Desires

“Autumn, go to sleep.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “No. Answer me. I tell you I have feelings for you and you say nothing. And then we have sex and you what? Forgive me for thinking the past is repeating itself.”

“I said nothing because you wouldn’t believe me if I had said anything. And I hardly call tonguing you sex. If you want to believe history’s repeating itself, then that’s your prerogative. I’m tired and not talking about it any more.”

He rolled over, effectively ending their conversation. Autumn turned out the light and lay on her side away from him. His scent surrounded her, as did his warmth. She didn’t have a clue as to where they went from here, but strictly professional was out of the question.

“Autumn, for what it’s worth, I like the nightie. You look hot in turquoise.”

* * * *

The sun peeked through the blinds and lined curtains to shine right in Jackson’s eyes. He ignored it for a while, but the longer he lay there, the worse it got. Soon the damn light nearly blinded him. He rolled over to a warm, sleeping Autumn curled up beside him. She looked so beautiful lying there peacefully resting without a care in the world. He couldn’t help leaning over to kiss her softly on the lips.

“Don’t make me get up now.”

Jackson chuckled. “I’m not. We can stay in bed today for all I care.”

“No can do.” Her eyes fluttered open. “I need coffee.”

He smiled and stretched. Autumn wasn’t a morning person by any means. “My vote is to stay in bed all day.” She smacked his arm. “Ow! What was that for?”

“A laundry list of items. You deserved it.”

Jackson knew it was true. He sat up and glanced at the clock. It was too early to be functioning. “You have to give me one hell of a good reason to get out of bed at this indecent hour.”

“I’ll make you breakfast.” She pulled the covers aside and sat up.

“Not good enough.” He fell back against the soft mattress.

She grinned at him. “You sure? Waffles with fresh-picked strawberries and whipped cream.”

His stomach growled. After all these years, she still remembered his favorite breakfast. Jackson reached for her and tugged her toward him until she conveniently settled on top of him while they spoke.

“I only eat whipped cream off someone.” He grinned. “As you recall, that someone was you.”

“I doubt I’m the only one.”

Jackson saw something change in her eyes, as if his past—their past—would forever haunt them. He wanted to think they could overcome it, that Autumn would believe him and they could move on. He was a real shithead to her before and didn’t understand why he wanted to make amends now. He just knew he had to.

“Do you want a relationship with me, Autumn? The full-fledged boyfriend–girlfriend kind that includes romance and hand-holding?”

“You know I do.” She scooted to the side and stared at the closet. “I’m not going to force you into it, though. I know the reality of the situation and haven’t got a clue about how we can work around it. You’ll leave once the mission is over, and then where will I be?”

Jackson contemplated that too. “Can I tell you something?” he asked.

Autumn turned her head and gave him her full attention.

“I’ve never been in a relationship. I’m thirty-four years old, and I can honestly say, I’ve never had a girlfriend. Isn’t that pathetic?”

“A little.” She smiled. “What are you getting at?”

Jackson didn’t even know himself. “I want you to be my girlfriend. My first.”

He knew in the back of his mind that sounded more pathetic than admitting to never being in a relationship and scolded himself mentally for it.

Autumn needed someone to depend on. He didn’t know how he’d do it with his schedule, but he’d try. If it meant taking cases only in the U.S., so be it. He wanted the chance. Even during the summer they had spent together, he saw her as being different. It hadn’t stopped him from using her, but it opened his eyes now. She deserved to be loved.

“Say something.” Jackson itched to touch her but he held back.

“Yes.”

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