Page 29 of Hidden Desires

The thought of their last time together drifted into her mind, the one before he left her father’s ranch. She convinced him to have a picnic with her at midnight, in the moonlight. The grilled cheese sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies weren’t exactly the best meal in the world. They made love beneath the moon in the middle of her father’s field, something she’d never forget for the rest of her days. The stars cast a luminescent glow on their sweaty skin, a reminder that some moments in life are meant to be remembered. Cherished even. That moment, with Jackson above her, wearing only his dog tags around his neck, she knew would stay with her forever.

“How come you never told your father about us?” he asked, drawing them out of silence.

Autumn rolled to her side and pressed a kiss against his tattoo. “Can you imagine what he’d say? I was his angel. He liked you, but I doubt he’d like the idea of you taking my virginity. Hell, didn’t he assign you as my bodyguard against our neighbor, Evan, from down the street? The poor boy was too scared to even look at me, much less touch me.”

Jackson untangled their fingers and wrapped his arm around her. “I told him I’d snap his neck if he touched you.”

Autumn pulled back to look at him. “You did not.”

He chuckled. “Okay. That was Jeff, but I was standing beside him. Of me, Jeff, and Davis, I suppose I was the most threatening. I was the biggest, and poor little Evan didn’t stand a chance.”

Autumn laid her head on his chest and circled his navel with her fingertip. “What about now? Does Evan stand a chance with me now?”

“Not with me around.” Jackson squeezed her tighter against him. “You’re all mine.”

His words thrilled her like nothing else. A small part of her insisted that he only said it because they were dating now, but the other part firmly said that he’s good at telling women what they want to hear. Autumn was the queen at reading too much into words spoken, and with Jackson, she didn’t know what to take to heart and what to brush away.

“Since your family is coming in town, how are we going to work out the sleeping arrangements?”

“Jeffery and Kristin will get the bed I gave you, and you’ll get my bed.” She closed her eyes against him, picturing in her mind what Jeffery would have to say about that. “I don’t care what other’s think, Jax. Do you?”

“No. Why would you think that?”

“Jeffery is Jeffery. He’s the big, bad know-it-all. Don’t let him get under your skin.” She yawned and smiled. “Besides, I’m supposed to be mad at you for calling him in the first place.”

“Yeah. You sure looked mad when I made you come.” Jackson kissed her and then pulled the covers over them. After tucking them around her he leaned over to kiss her again. “You need some sleep, joliefille.”

“Hey.” Autumn grabbed his arm. “You never did tell me how you learned French.”

Jackson kissed her and plopped down on his side. “You don’t want to know.”

“Yes, I do. Tell me.”

Jackson huffed a breath and stared at the ceiling. “I fucked my French teacher in high school. She taught me the language and gave me straight A’s.”

Autumn blinked, not knowing what to say. “Is there a woman on earth you haven’t fucked?”

He snorted. “Yes, smarty-pants.”

“You know, that’s the first bit of information you volunteered about your days before the Marines. Why is your past such a secret?”

“Why do you ask so many questions?”

Autumn rolled to her side away from him. “It’s something lovers do, Jackson. They share parts of themselves with each other that the rest of the world never gets to see. I wish you’d trust me enough to tell me about it.”

He was silent for a while, and Autumn was certain he was either ignoring her or fast asleep.

“It’s not about trust, Autumn. There’s no point in rehashing my past or anyone’s past for that matter.”

“Do you trust me, Jackson?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“The kind that needs an answer. Do you trust me?”

Autumn waited staring at her bathroom door knowing the answer before he ever spoke it. This explained a lot, she realized. It wasn’t about hurting her this time, because she honestly didn’t think he’d do that intentionally. He simply didn’t trust her.

“I trust you about as much as I can.”

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