Page 22 of No Regrets

They stared at each other for a moment, and he realized their conversation going to hell in a handbasket. This was not something he expected in the list of cons had he gathered in his mind. Pregnancy he thought would be the worst, because of what she went through with Shiloh. As with all women, love always came into the relationship at the wrong possible time, every time.

“I think we made a big mistake by getting married.” Brianna said and finally made her way back to the doorway. “I guess you had it right last night. You stay on your side, and I’ll stay on mine.”

He should have gone after her, but the muscles in his legs wouldn’t move. He sat frozen to the bed, stunned out of his mind. Bree wanted love, something she knew he couldn’t give her. He didn’t fall in love. He had a good time, played around, and came back home. He’d never been in love, or even thought about being in love.

Finally, when he could move, he walked to the doorway and stared down the hall at the empty, silent house. If life could have gotten more complicated, he didn’t see how. Taking the few steps necessary to Shiloh’s room, he peeked inside to see the baby standing up in her crib. She didn’t cry—hardly ever in fact, except when Brianna left home—but stared at him with a sloppy grin on her face. He smiled back, going to the crib to pick her up, and settled in the gliding rocker in the corner of the room.

For a while, they sat quietly rocking, while Shiloh sucked on her hand and stared up at him in amazed wonder.

“I think I really screwed up things with your mother.” He told the baby, smoothing her wild hair to her head. “I’ve never really loved anyone outside my family, but then again, I’ve always considered your momma to be part of my family.”

The baby settled in against him as if he were reading her a story. “I do love you though, how could I not?” He pecked her cheek, gaining a grin from the sweet baby. “You’re a lot like her, you know? Your smile’s the same, as well as your temperament, which is definitely a good thing. Your grandma likes ruffling your momma’s feathers, and I don’t know what I’m going to do about that. Grandpa says it’ll all blow over, but women are complicated creatures.”

He smiled down at the half-dozing baby in his arms. “So what’s your advice for me, sweetheart? I really need some. I think your momma is afraid I’m going to leave the two of you high and dry when the year is up, but you know better than that. I’d miss our popsicles for breakfast, and our sneaking cookies behind your momma’s back. Don’t tell her I gave them to you. She’d paddle my behind if she knew.”

Softly snoring in his arms, Shiloh went back to sleep. He smiled, kissed her on the forehead, and situated her back in the crib. He stood awhile rubbing her back and watching her sleep. He couldn’t have asked for a better child.

“Good night, angel. Merry Christmas.” He flipped the small lamp off, making it completely dark in her room, except for the small nightlight beside her bed.

He turned toward the door and saw Brianna standing there with a ready-made bottle in her hand, waiting.

“I thought she was hungry, but it looks like all she needed was her daddy.”

“I just rocked her back to sleep.” He stepped the side, moving past Brianna to his room.

“Kaden, wait. I’m sorry about what I said a minute ago.” She sat the bottle on the changing table and came to his room, sitting on the side of his bed. “Did you really mean what you said in there, when you were talking to Shiloh?”

“Eavesdropping?” He leaned back against his pillows, knowing full and well she heard everything.

“So what if I was?”

He suppressed a grin. “What’s your point?”

She huffed, falling back against the bed. Her breasts flopped with the movement, bringing on the ache again. This woman was definitely going to resort him to having blue balls if she kept it up.

“Why is it so hard for you to give me a straight answer? You talk to Shiloh, telling her more things in a few minutes than you’ve told me since we got married. Just give me a straight answer.”

“Fine. Did I mean it? Yes. I don’t lie to my kid. Do I want you? Yes. My balls are turning blue as we speak. Do I love you? Yes. Am I in love with you? Don’t know. You’re stubborn and aloof, and I can’t comprehend my own crap without worry about what you’re going to think or how you’ll react. Did I give Shiloh popsicles for breakfast? One time just because it was banana flavored, and she wanted some of mine. We were out of real bananas so I gave her the next best thing. And yes, we sneaked cookies behind your back more times than I can count, but don’t ruin it for her, because that’s how I get her to stop crying when you leave. I think she’s playing me now, but we’ve got a good thing going, and I’m not about to give it up.”

She stared at him as if he spoke in a foreign language, trying to comprehend what he just said. And then she grinned. “Only a guy would give a baby a popsicle for breakfast.”

“After all that shit, complaining and otherwise, that’s what you have to say?” He pulled the covers over his boxer-clad body, and rolled to his side. “Goodnight, Bree.”

The mattress dipped slightly with her weight as she crawled up behind him. “Can I stay here? It’s almost morning anyway, so it won’t be like were actually sleeping together.”

He rolled over pulling the covers aside, waiting for her to slip beneath them. Once she situated herself next to him, she faced him, keeping her distance.

“Don’t worry about what I’m going to do or say if you have something on your mind, Kaden. I’m a big girl now, and I can take care of myself.”

“Yeah. Well, maybe I like taking care of you.” He rolled away from her, seeming to go to sleep.

Neither knew sleep would come easy, but Kaden did suppose that Brianna would rather not be alone. After all, it was Christmas.

* * * *

The delicious smell of eggs, bacon, sausage, and biscuits permeated their way to her nostrils, taking all of three seconds before Brianna realized the food sat beside her on a tray.

Kaden’s bare feet padded down the hall, stopping at Shiloh’s doorway. He held a bottle in his hand and a burping cloth hung over his shoulder. She watched as he lifted Shiloh out of her crib, kissing her and cradling her to his chest. The poor baby was probably starved since she didn’t get her evening bottle before bedtime, but she seemed perfectly content in her daddy’s arms. And Brianna knew exactly how she felt.

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