Page 45 of No Regrets

Kaden rounded the corner stopping short when he saw Ben sitting next to her. “What’s going on?”

“I’m leaving.” Ben stood, patting Brianna’s shoulder before he took off back to the house.

Once he was out of earshot, Kaden turned on her. “What the hell were you doing back here with him?”

“Oh, would you keep your voice down? I wanted some fresh air, and Ben didn’t want me to be alone. He’s like a damn leech.” She shoved her hands in his coat pockets trying to keep warm. How he stood here without a jacket, was beyond her. She froze just staring at him.

“Brianna, I didn’t know she was here. I talked to Mom, and she said she came with a lawyer friend they invited. She didn’t invite her.” Kaden sat beside her, propping his elbows on his knees.

“How much longer until we can go home?”

“Two hours.” Kaden’s watch shined in the moonlight. “We can leave now if you want. Truthfully, I really don’t want to stay any longer.”

“Will you answer something for me? Honestly?” Brianna folded her hands in her lap, waiting for him to answer.

“Sure. What do you want to know?”

She paused, took a deep breath then paused again, looking for courage to get the words past her lips. She wanted to know, and felt she deserved to know. “Did you love Bethany?”

He blew out a harsh breath. “I cared for Bethany. We spent four years together, all throughout law school she was my girl. But I don’t really think I was in love with her. We had a connection from the start, and her parents liked my parents so there was the family thing. Her father was a judge, and my father was his best friend. Still is in fact, but I felt then and see more clearly now that that relationship was more forced than anything. Her family wanted her to have a husband and were convinced her that I’d be the best match.

“I never fell in love with her though. She did her own thing, I did mine. Sometimes we’d meet up together, often not. And this lasted nearly half the length of our relationship. She wasn’t ready to get married, and quite frankly, neither was I. So that’s when I came home and found her in my bed with another guy. She didn’t even have the decency to stop when I asked her what the hell was going on. She completed her orgasm and then climbed off him to argue with me. I should have expected it, but I guess I was caught up in all the fairy-tale crap I’d seen in my family. Kristy getting married and having kids. Kevin finding a wife in Julia. I just wasn’t ready for it. I wanted to be, but I wasn’t.”

Brianna slid her hand along his thigh to his hand. “So you came to my place got drunk and got me pregnant.”

“That wasn’t intentional.” He turned her hand over and rubbed her knuckles with his fingers. “I wanted someone I knew would love me for me. Bethany used me. She wanted money, fame, and glory. I came to your house because I knew you’d understand and wouldn’t say, ‘I told you so,’ even though you were thinking it. But you broke up with Brett the same night, and both our good intentions got sidetracked.”

Brianna laid her head on his shoulder. “I didn’t break up with Brett. He broke up with me because I wouldn’t sleep with him.”

“Why did you save yourself for so long?”

Brianna never thought about it. “I guess I just wasn’t ready. Or maybe I didn’t feel a sexual attraction towards Brett. I mean, he liked to gag me every time we kissed for sticking his tongue down my throat. It was awful. Maybe subconsciously, I knew that sex with him would be awful as well.”

Kaden’s fingers made lazy circles around each of her knuckles going to the end only to start back again. He leaned his head against hers as they sat together in silence under the pale moonlight.

“I’m glad it was with you, Kaden,” Brianna finally said, nothing more than a whisper.

“I love you, Bree. I know you felt used when I got you pregnant and left you for the dogs, but that wasn’t how it was for me. I never doubted the baby was mine. I doubted myself more than anything.”

Brianna knew this. She didn’t see it then, but being around Kaden, and getting to know him better she saw it. From what he told her about Bethany, she knew it.

“Did you ever tell Bethany you loved her?”

“Nope. You’re the first and only.” He pulled back and kissed her forehead. “I’m really glad you’re my wife, Bree. I never thought an arranged marriage would suit me, but damn it if my grandfather didn’t know what he was talking about.”

She smiled. “I wish Shiloh could’ve met him.”

“Me too. Did I ever tell you he had a picture of her? My dad gave me a box of his stuff from the office, and he had a picture of her—one like the hospital took in his belongings. I never knew that until I saw it.”

Brianna saw the confusion in his face. “He came to visit me. In the hospital. Tim stopped by to see the baby, and I gave him the picture. He was proud, you know, of you and the baby. He never held her, or got to see her other than through the nursery window, but I could see the love. Shiloh was definitely loved by more people than I can count before she even made her grand entrance in to this world.”

He cupped the back of her head and pulled her to his mouth. She tasted the salt of his tears, though they fell silently as he thought about his beloved grandfather and his daughter. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him tighter to her. The kiss went from sweet and desperate to hot and steamy within a second.

“I love you,” Brianna said, kissing his lips. “I’m proud of you too, because you’re truly an amazing person.”

“Can we go home now?”

Brianna smiled holding his arm up in the light. “Not too much longer until midnight, then we can go home.”

---