Page 50 of No Regrets

He walked back into the kitchen and saw her still sitting on the floor in the same position he’d left her. She tried hiding her tears from him and stood to clean up the mess she’d made. Her butt was wet from the puddle she sat in, and there was a spot on her thigh as well. She wore a yellow terry cloth jogging suit so the spots didn’t show that much, not that she seemed to care.

He came up beside her, wanting to touch her, to pull her into his arms and make her forget. But he knew she wouldn’t like that. He grabbed a mug from the cabinet and poured himself some coffee she’d made fore him.

“Your daughter hasn’t seen you in a week, so kiss her goodnight and go to bed,” Brianna said keeping her back to him.

Against his good judgment, he walked up to her and pulled her into his arms. She struggled, just as he knew she would but finally calmed, standing stiff as a statue in his arms.

“I love you, Brianna. I’m still half drunk and a stupid bastard, but I know as sure as my name that you’re the one I love. I’m sorry if I made your life a living hell over the past few months, but I’m willing to change it if you’ll let me. I don’t want to move out away from you because you’re what makes my life worth living. I wake up to your pretty face and think about you all day only to come home to your sweet body and dream about you all night long. Your smile is what gets me most, sweetheart. It makes me feel like the luckiest guy on the face of the earth. I do know what love is Brianna. Love is you.”

He turned her around seeing how she closed her eyes as the tears fell down her cheeks. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her so close to him he didn’t know where he ended and she began. After a little while she returned the embrace and they clung together in the middle of the kitchen for what seemed like hours.

When he finally pulled away, he brushed a kiss across her lips and wiped her tears away. Even with red eyes, blotchy skin, and a snotty nose, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. He loved her and always had. Even talking to his friends about the past they knew it, before he even had to tell them. They saw him look at her in a way he looked at no other woman. When she was around, his eyes were only on her.

“Go kiss Shiloh while I clean up this mess.” She wrapped her hands around his wrists as they framed her face. “Then make your bed in the spare bedroom.”

His heart broke all over again as she pushed his hands away from her and started working on the dishes again. “After all I just said you’re still pissed at me?”

“A few words aren’t going to change the circumstances, Kaden. If you thought that, then you’re a dumbass.” She washed the plates and stacked them on the dish drainer.

“What the hell did I do wrong?”

“Nothing, Kaden. You keep proclaiming your innocence. You didn’t do one fucking thing.” She threw the flatware at the dish drainer not really caring where they went.

“You know what, Bree. I think you’re the one acting like a dumbass right now. I may be a criminal lawyer, but I’ve had my fare share of divorce cases. If I were cheating on you, I sure as hell wouldn’t do it in the one place you know about.”

She turned around and narrowed her eyes. “Why go someplace else when she was conveniently waiting for you when you got back? Probably waited for you naked in bed and everything. What’d she do, give you a shoulder to cry on?”

“This is unbelievable. You don’t trust me one fucking bit.”

“What reason have you given me to? You hid your ex-fiancée in your spare apartment and got drunk with her only to pass out half naked across your bed with her standing wrapped in a towel in your room. Not to mention I was scared shitless about you, and you didn’t even have the decency to call me. No, you went straight to her and expect me to believe nothing happened. Only a damn fool would believe nothing happened.”

She turned around wiping her hands on the dishtowel. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed. I’m tired of arguing with you about this.”

“I didn’t choose her over you, Brianna.”

“Whatever.” She flipped off the kitchen light and headed down the hall to their bedroom.

Frustrated, Kaden went the opposite way to their daughter’s room, seeing her standing in her crib, sucking her thumb. “Da-dy.”

“Yeah, sweetheart. I’m here.” He walked to the crib and picked up the baby, cradling her to him. “I’ve missed you so much.”

She laid her head against him, seeming content to in her father’s arms. He sat down in the rocker and glided back and forth as he watched her fall back to sleep. Brianna had told him she picked up two new words, though she still didn’t say momma. She stuck with daddy, which he supposed drove Brianna insane.

He leaned back in the rocker, trying to figure out what to do next. She was right about the whole trust thing. He never gave her a reason to trust him, yet he automatically assumed she did. Whoever thought being married made life easier was a damn fool. He was a damn fool.

After rocking Shiloh back to sleep, he placed her in her crib again and covered her with a blanket.

“She’s missed you, you know.” Brianna leaned against the doorway in her lavender nightie. “She kept staring at the door waiting for you to come home.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve missed her too.” He rubbed her back, leaning over the crib to watch her sleep.

“Kaden, I don’t know what to do.” Leaning against the doorframe, she crossed her arms over her chest. “How do we fix this?”

He kissed Shiloh one more time and turned around to face her. Pushing her out of the room and down the hall away from Shiloh, he directed her toward their bedroom.

“You’ve got to trust me, Brianna.” Once inside their room, he closed the door, ushered her to the bed, and began stripping. “I’m going to be around people you don’t like, women you hate, and you can’t blow up at me about every single case. Yes, I should have told you she was staying at the apartment, and I should have called. But what’s done is done. I didn’t call, and I’m sorry I made you worry about me.” Clad in his boxers, he kneeled in front of her. “I swear to you nothing happened. I know how it looks, and I know how you feel because I felt it too. I’ve been the one cheated on, and I would never put you through that.”

“I’m tired. I just want to go to bed.”

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