Page 28 of Breaking the Rules (Roaming Devils MC 1)

That was until he spotted her.

He sat up a little straighter and glanced toward the door. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to bribe you.” She lifted the bottle of fentanyl. “I want to talk to Ryker.”

He sucked in a breath, staring at the bottle. “He’s entertaining some bitches in the back. I seriously doubt he wants to talk.”

So he was sleeping with other women. The thought made her want to throw up. Part of her wondered why she even bothered. The other part of her knew that more than anything, he needed her help.

“I don’t know. I can be pretty persuasive.” She shook the bottle lightly. “Do we have a deal?”

He nodded once and she tossed the bottle to him. He waved her back and she went down the darkened hall, the music less intrusive. She knocked on the first door and found another guy fucking three women. Sweat rolled down his meaty back as a smile crossed his face, hips still pumping into one of the women. He made some comment about her joining them. She rolled her eyes and closed the door, going to the second room.

Ryker bent over the dresser, snorting a row of powder.

He was alone, and he looked a mess. His dark hair was greasy. Coke covered the dresser, the effects of feeding an addict’s habit. Her heart broke as she took in the effects of his drug abuse. He’d told her he’d been clean for a while. To see him relapse nearly ripped her apart. She stared at him a moment, debating what to do next.

“You shouldn’t be here, Ella.” Tears filled his eyes and he tried to wipe the powder from his face. “You need to stay away from me.”

“Says who? Your father?”

He swallowed. “I’m not a good person. I can’t love you like you need.” His voice broke as he spoke to her. “I tried.” He sniffled. “I did. I gave it an honest effort.” He turned away from her. “You deserve someone better than a junkie. You deserve someone that will be there to hold you and love you. To cherish you. I can’t do it. I can’t be that guy for you.”

She walked around the mess and went to him. “Look at me.”

When he did, he had pinpoint pupils. His nose was bleeding and he was a fucked up mess. “Why did you start using again?” She pushed him back to the bed and reached for a tissue from the box on the dresser. “I thought we worked out that craving.”

“They injected me as punishment for being with you.” He blew out a breath. “Ella, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought you into this. I don’t think I can get you out of it unless you stay away from me. If you stay away from me, everything will be okay again. They won’t bother you if I leave you alone.”

She wiped the blood from his nose. Every word he said broke her heart. They’d forced him into a relapse. It explained the video. She tossed the tissue into the trash, noticing that he was working his way through a gram of cocaine. They were sadistic bastards. His own fucking father was as evil as they came.

“Ella, you need to leave.” He grabbed her hand but instead of pushing her away, he pulled her to him. She stumbled, falling to the bed beside him. A moment of panic rushed through her as he moved on top of her. Instead of forcing himself on her as she thought, he pressed his face against her neck and broke down, crying like a small child.

Her heart ached as she wrapped her arms around him. She found herself wanting to protect him but she didn’t know how. He was a grown man that made his own decisions. While some were against his will, he had every ability to walk away from the club if he knew how terrible they really were.

“I’m so sorry, Ella.” He whimpered as if he were in physical pain. “God, I’m so sorry.”

She stroked his back, rubbing the tension from his muscles. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

He let her comfort him for a little while longer before he pushed up and away from her. She stared at him, concerned for his well-being. He was high and didn’t know what he was saying. He had a tremendous amount of guilt, though he didn’t say what it was about specifically.

“You need to go.” He nodded a few times as if he were convincing himself to let her go. “I need you to go.”

She sat up. What could she really say to him? He was exactly how the junkies arrived at the clinic. They only fought addiction if they wanted to. He was struggling with so much more and Ella was afraid that it would push him in deeper or potentially kill him.

“I can still help you.” She rubbed his arm. “You relapsed and you’re still alive, so it’s not the end of the world. You can come to the clinic and we can start all over again, except this time, you’ll have someone right there with you to help you get clean.”

He stood and walked away from the bed. “Don’t you get it? I can’t fucking see you anymore. I can’t talk to you. I can’t fuck you. I can’t go to the stupid clinic to get clean. I can’t do it. You need to stay away from me, Ella. You need to go.”

Ella had never seen him so agitated. Instead of allowing it to escalate, she stood and left the room. The music was blaring as she made her way back to the main room. Razor spotted her from across the room and she narrowed her eyes at him. He was killing his son and he didn’t even care.

Ella left the party and went outside to her car. Maybe she should cut her losses and leave him alone. It killed her to even think about that since he could be alive today and dead tomorrow. The thought alone scared the shit out of her. There had to be another way. She just wished she knew what it was.

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