Page 21 of Keeping What He Wants

He closed his eyes. “Tell me what you want. I’ll do anything you want.”

“You could start by not getting hard for another woman. That would probably be a great start.”

When he sat up, he looked into the closet and saw some of her things were gone. She didn’t own many regular clothes since she wore scrubs most days. She wore his clothes most other times. Ryker glanced around the bedroom. He still smelled her perfume. He closed his eyes and breathed in the soft scent. His arms ached to hold her. His chest ached knowing that he couldn’t.

“Come home.” His voice was gravelly and with emotion. “Please.”

“I need time away. I’ll call you later.”

He tossed his phone aside. So many doubts ran through his head. Ella still felt like a fantasy. She didn’t belong with him, and he feared that he made a mistake by letting things go too far. He didn’t deserve her. He knew it in the dark depths of his soul. Standing, he pulled the towel off and searched through the dresser for some clothes.

Being with someone like Beth made sense. She wanted to be part of the life. She wanted to please him. Maybe that was the real problem. He was used to women pleasing him, and with Ella, he tried his damnedest to please her—and he wasn’t good at it. He ran a hand over his face. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get to a point where the questions didn’t arise. He’d always wonder if he and Ella belonged together. He’d always question how she fit in with his club.

He grabbed his phone and headed for the door. Going to the club seemed like a good idea. But instead, he wanted to ride. He mounted the bike and started the engine. There was something about the wind in his face and the power of the engine beneath him that calmed him down. He rode around town for an hour and a half before finally pulling into the club. Without Ella at home, he didn’t have much reason to be there and his brothers would know it. They would know she’d left him and then the bullshit would start all over again.

Ryker walked into the club and bypassed the party scene. Beth glanced over at him from Rizzo’s lap. He didn’t say anything to anyone as he went to the back to find a room. His head was in a fucked-up place, and he wanted the day to be over.

****

The on-call room was not an ideal living space for two days and nights. While it helped her with her work, it wrecked havoc on her physically. Ella got up and took a shower in the locker room. She hadn’t slept well and what little sleep she had gotten wasn’t enough for her twelve-hour shift. Ryker had called her phone throughout the night and she’d ignored it. He’d texted her numerous times, and she ignored those messages too. Her life was messed up. Her father was pissed at her for the whole situation with Ryker’s elbow making contact with her nose, and she was pissed at Ryker for his controlling and inconsiderate ways. Relationships were too much work, and she didn’t have time for it.

Ella didn’t take a break the entire time she worked until her boss forced her to sit down for thirty minutes. She yawned and thought about how great her bed sounded. It was stupid that she had to leave her own place because of Ryker. But she knew better than to think that Ryker would actually respect her requests for distance. Although he was probably staying at the club anyway.

After pulling out her phone, she stared at the numerous calls missed and text messages sent. Ryker repeatedly told her that he was sorry. She didn’t know why he thought apologizing would make everything better. She didn’t feel better.

“You look like you’re going to fall over.” Derek sat down next to her in the waiting area’s plastic chairs. “Go home.”

“I can’t.” She shook her head.

“Boyfriend problems?”

She snorted. “Yeah.”

“He’s an idiot.”

“I agree.” She glanced over at Derek. Ever since he’d started working in the ER, they clicked. He knew what he was doing even though he was a new nurse. He was one of the few she trusted to jump in when she needed him. He was also great with patients.

“Where are you staying?” Derek asked, glancing down at his watch.

“Here.” She yawned. “I’m fine. Really.”

“No, you’re not.” Derek reached over and squeezed her hand. “If you want to keep your relationship going, don’t stay mad at him for too long. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder. It only makes the head more confused.”

He stood and left her sitting with her phone in her hand. Ryker texted her, and she decided to respond. Clicking his number, she waited for him to answer.

“Hey,” he said almost immediately.

“Hey.” She didn’t know what to say. She was still mad, and nothing anyone could say would really fix it. “We need to talk about our relationship.”

“Okay. When and where?”

“I’m getting off work in a few minutes.”

“You want me to come pick you up?”

“Yeah.” She glanced up at the hustle and bustle of the emergency room. “Meet me under the pavilion.”

After they disconnected, Ella went to the on-call room to get her stuff. The fatigue that overwhelmed her had her nearly dragging all the way back to ER. Her boss kept his eyes on her as she stood at triage waiting for her shift to end.

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