Page 3 of Redemption

The sprawling farmhouse came into view, with its log structure and wraparound porch. We went up the porch steps and inside, the familiar scent of pine and sandalwood enveloping us.

In silence we removed our boots and lined them up on the rack by the glass double front door. The girls drifted into the kitchen, but I stayed, staring at the boots. Four sets of cowgirl boots in various colors. Daddy bought us all a pair on our sixteenth birthday, it was a rite of passage for us but now there would be no more colorful boots.

Oh God, Tilly…she won’t get any.I put my fist in my mouth, biting down hard on my knuckles to stop the sob from slipping out, even as a tear ran down my cheek at the thought of Tilly never getting hers. I made a mental note to find her a pair, I had six months until her birthday.

“Kat?”

I looked up and saw Madison standing there, her thick brows dipped in as she looked between me and the row of rainbow boots. “Oh God, Tills,” she moaned, and her lower lip wobbled.

“Maddy, I swear if you cry, I won’t keep it together. And I need to, Mads,” I croaked.

Maddy dashed her cheeks with her hands. “See, all gone, no tears.” She blinked rapidly as big fat droplets leaked down her cheeks and the ridiculousness of it all actually had me fighting a smirk. Maddy smiled softlythrough her tears as she saw my lips twitch. She could always make me smile; it was her gift. At twenty-nine, she was the second eldest, the closest to me in age and we’d been thick as thieves growing up. Still were.

“All better.” I shot her a watery smile.

“I’ll help get some dinner ready. Leo will be by soon, if that’s okay? Just to help out with a few things?” She twirled her honey blonde hair around her finger, not making eye contact.

“Of course that’s fine, tell Leo he can stay for dinner, we’d love to have him,” I said, watching as twin spots of pink appeared on her cheeks. Leo was her best friend, they’d been friends since they were at kindergarten together. I suspected that she’d been in love with him for a while now, not that she’d admit it. Leo was a great guy. Dependable, strong and such a rock for Maddy during this whole thing. He had been here for all of us.

Maddy nodded, gave my arm a squeeze and headed back to the kitchen. I followed, finding comfort in the familiar open-plan cottage-style design with its wide counter-tops. Wooden shelves and spice racks adorned the walls with potted herbs that dangled enticingly. The oak dining table was a battered piece that had been in the family for over thirty years and had various repairs made to it. It was one wrong dish placement from collapsing but we didn’t have the heart to get rid of it. The wooden chairs had checkered cushion covers in all different colors, and an oak sideboard held the dishes along with various family pictures and trinkets decorating the top. It was cozy and warm, a family room, and the place where we all spent most of our time.

Daisy, my twenty-five-year-old middle sister, sat at the table flicking through a magazine with August, the fourthyoungest. Tilly sat at the island, picking at her nail polish while silent tears slipped down her cheeks. I couldn’t stand to see the tears, each one like a knife to my gut.

I clapped my hands together. “So, what do y’all want to eat tonight?”

It was just us; we would do the wake another time. Oh, there were plenty of folks from the town who wanted to pay their respects, but it was all so fresh right now that it felt like too much having lots of people around. It was better just the five of us, six if you counted Leo.

“Beef?” Daisy suggested.

Tilly gasped and shook her head. After working on the ranch a few times, Tilly had fallen in love with the animals and declared herself a vegan. Now the thought of eating animals, especially cute ones, was worse than death. “No beef. Trout?”

“No!” August shouted.

“How about vegetable chilli?” Maddy suggested, coming into the kitchen and looping an arm around Tilly’s shoulders. Although she had a smile on her face, her eyes were red-rimmed and her nose was pink.

Was this life now? Just one or all of us constantly crying? Grief was a motherfucker.

“Sounds good to me,” August said.

“With extra beans for you,” I said to Tilly who nodded gratefully.

I turned away and began gathering the ingredients. Maddy started chopping vegetables next to me. Silence reigned in the kitchen, and it was awkward and horrible, but I didn’t know how to fix it.

Luckily, there was Leo.

“Hot damn, it’s wet out there!” His voice echoed around the house as he entered the kitchen,soaking wet, his white shirt plastered to his incredibly muscular chest. I watched the way Maddy’s eyes lingered over it and smirked to myself.Oh, she’s very interested in her best friend.

“Leo!” Tilly yelled and ran, throwing herself at him and sobbed a little.

“Are you that upset to see me?” he teased. If anyone else entered the house the way he did and made the comments he said, they would be getting shown the door, but Leo had been around us all so long that he was like a brother.

“Leo,” Maddy tsked.

“What, tough girl? You should be used to this by now.” He winked at Maddy.

“I never get used to you,” she murmured. I cocked an eyebrow at her, and she clapped a hand over her mouth and turned back to her chopping, blushing furiously.

Leo came over and kissed her cheek, Tilly still clinging to him. He dipped a finger into the sauce I was making, swiping a taste. His mouth pulled down and his eyebrows worked overtime before he turned to me and made a face. “Delicious as always,” he joked, shuddering.

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