Page 44 of Reach Around

And me? I’m doing my best to act normal—even as Joely talks to her best friend, bundled up in that coat I can’t stop thinking about unzipping, my whole body burning in ways the fire can’t touch.

If it were just the two of us, I’d have her pressed up against the tailgate with her legs spread, that puffy coat shoved up to her waist while I get my mouth on her until she’s making those desperate little noises I can’t stop thinking about. I want my hands inside her panties, fingers stroking her until she comes apart, her breath hot in my ear and her nails raking down my back. Hell, half these guys would drop their beers if they knew what I’d do to her if we were alone—because the only thing I want more than a hot dog on a stick is to sink my cock so deep she forgets the fire’s even burning.

She looks different tonight even though I’ve seen her a thousand times. Her hair’s still got a wave to it like last night, and she’s wearing that soft smile she always gets when she’s around my family. Like she belongs here. Like she’s one of us. Hell, she is. But now, everything’s different.

Bennett shoots me a look over the fire, then smirks. “You good, bro? You look constipated.”

“I’m great,” I mutter, grabbing a marshmallow skewer like it’s gonna save me from this conversation.

Joely catches my eye. Just a quick glance. But it’s enough to light me up all over again. My chest goes tight, and I’m fifteen again, stupid and obsessed and trying to hide a crush the size of Minnesota. I imagine myself yelling, “I had sex!” to my Mom.

Instead, I stab a marshmallow and stick it in the flames.

Bennett, of course, doesn’t let it go. “You gonna stare at her all night, or are you gonna say something?”

“She’s right there, dude. She can hear you.”

“Then say it quieter.” He grins, smug as hell.

Joely rolls her eyes. “Y’all want me to move? I can go sit by Shep.”

“No!” I say way too fast. Everyone pauses. Gage whistles.

“Wow,” Shep says, dragging out the word like it’s got five syllables. “Somebody’s got it bad.”

“Somebody’s gonna end up a sacrifice to the fire,” I growl.

Joely laughs, but her cheeks are pink. She doesn’t move, and that feels like a win. Then Boone shows up with a tray of snacks, saving me from further humiliation. For now.

I shift in my seat, trying to play it cool. But I can’t stop watching Joely. And when she tucks her hair behind her ear and glances my way again, I know I’m screwed.

Because I don’t just want her here tonight.

I want her everywhere. Always.

Before long, she’s next to me, her face half-lit by the flames, curls haloed in gold. She’s got her hands stuffed into the pockets of her coat, but the second I lean in, she shifts like she was waiting for me.

“Cold?” I ask, nudging her shoulder with mine.

She shrugs. “Not really.”

But I can see the pink creeping up her cheeks, and it’s not from the fire.

“I meant what I said last night,” I say, voice low. “I want this to be real.”

Joely turns her head, eyes wide. “Then why do you want to keep it quiet?”

Ah, shit. Here we go.

I scrub a hand down my jaw. “It’s not like that. It’s just… things are complicated right now with the contract and all. Franklin and Britt have me under a microscope, and if I start publicly dating someone seriously, they’ll say my head’s not in the game. And they’d be right.”

She studies my face, but I can’t meet her eyes.

“It’s not just about the contract,” I admit, voice cracking. “It’s—Joely, if I lose hockey? I don’t know who I am. I know that sounds pathetic, but it’s true. I’m already skating on thin ice with Franklin, and I can’t—I can’t lose this, too. Hockey’s the only thing I’ve ever been good at. The only thing that makes sense when everything else gets loud in my head.”

My breath comes out shaky, and I finally look at her, afraid of what I’ll see.

“I’m scared,” I whisper, shame biting at my insides. “Scared that if I screw up, if I get distracted, it’s all over. And if that happens… I’m not sure what’s left of me.”

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