Page 81 of The Likelihood Of You

“You’re crazy.” I shook my head, letting a smile rest on my face out of pure disbelief.

Her head dropped as she placed both her hands on her hips, blowing out a hard breath before raising her head again. “Just listen to me, Jacob.” Another sigh left her. “I need you.” Was this girl for real? “I know I didn’t handle everything with us in the best way. I was an asshole. I know that. What I did to you was shitty, and I was young and stupid, and I don’t know why I ever let you go.”

“Young and stupid? You’re the same age! Please just go—”

“Let me fucking finish, Jacob!”

I know she probably wanted to scare me with how she raised her voice, but I was so numb from everything she’d already said to me that I simply let her screams pass through me like a ghost.

“I need you. My life is falling apart over these fucking…these fucking comments I made years ago, and I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m gonna lose everything.” She moved her hands from where they rested by her side, getting closer to me than I ever wanted her to again. “I didn’t know who else to go to.”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Darcie? Do you hear how entitled you sound?” I shot back, so bluntly I wondered if the words had even left me. “That’s why you’re here? Because you’re losing the platform that you used me to get in the first place?”

“Just listen—”

“No. I’m not listening to your bullshit anymore, Darcie, I’m done.” I step backwards, creating a decent amount of space between us. “I get that your life is probably falling apart, that must suck. But you put yourself in that position; no one else except you is responsible for this.” I step back again as she steps closer. “I get what you said was along time ago, but do you know how many people you must have hurt when they saw those? For some reason, those people look up to you, Darcie, and you completely stomped all over their hearts. Just like you did with me.”

“Jacob, I’m sorry-”

“No, Darcie, you can’t say that to me. You can’t apologise to me after all this time. I fucking loved you, and you just took your new career and left me, and I don’t even know why!”

She inched closer towards me, her lips parted softly in a way that would have made Jacob from a year ago go crazy; now it just made that hot chocolate I’d drank before nearly erupt out of me in a way that would ruin her vintage shoes more than a snowstorm would.

“I was an idiot, I’ll admit that. I saw you as a tool to get what I wanted. But it wasn’t always like that. I had the biggest thing for you, and when you noticed me, I felt seen, more seen than I do now with thousands of followers.” I rolled my eyes. “I just don’t know why you can’t realise that I still lo—“

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. You lost the right to say that to me when you walked out of here laughing. You remember that, right? If not, maybe have a good long think about it on the elevator ride back down—”

Those next few seconds happened so quickly that I wasn’t sure which happened first: me being pushed against the wall of the hallway, Darcie grabbing my face and kissing me, or the sound of the front door opening.

Chapter thirty

Florence

Iwas rightfully under the impression that I was opening the door to the place where I recently called home. A place where the memories I treasured the most were birthed. Countless rooms and endless walls that remembered my laugh, my voice, my cries. The furniture that watched me fall head over heels in a way I was never supposed to.

But no. Actually, that couldn't be further from the truth.

Instead, somehow, I was right back in my bedroom doorway. No warning or choice in the matter either. Lifeless grey decor that I'd always fantasised about setting alight clouded the corners of my world, my heart was pounding, and my eyes were streaming.

“Hugo?”I whispered, my voice so tear-ridden and quiet that there was no way he was going to hear me. Calling the name of whoever wasunderneath the covers with him would be pointless. I had no idea who it was.

I stood there, my body getting weaker with each muffled moan that came from the bed, but my eyes didn't move away.Why won't they move away?

“Hugo?”I tried again, but whatever effort I was attempting to put into my breaking voice was wasted; the moans escaping the bed won whatever contest this was.

I felt nothing. Gutted, and hollow. But at the same time, I felt everything.

I was so happy that in my hands was the dress I’d be wearing on my wedding day, which wasn’t that far away now. Only a few weeks to go, I reminded myself, hoping those pre-wedding flutters would spring to life and overpower the feeling that marrying this man wasn’t what I wanted at all. Wasn't what I needed.

I was grateful that I had spent the day playing dress up with my friends, them passing me veils and tiaras and shoes and bridal flower crowns for the whole four hours we were occupying the store. It took my mind off the fact that I was second-guessing the wedding, too, for a while.

I was upset that Sydney couldn’t make it. She and I had been talking about this day since we were kids, promising each other that we’d be each other’s maid of honour. I was excited to show her the sample dress I’d chosen for her and my three other bridesmaids. It was pink and satin, two of the things she loved the most.

I was annoyed that she called me last minute to tell me she couldn’t make it, but it wasn’t a big deal; she said it was an emergency.

I felt stupid that I’d believed her.

Themystery of who Hugo was loudly fucking in our bed was solved quicker than I’d have liked. I didn’t want to know who it was. I tried to walk out of the door and save myself from the heartache of finding out who was being touched by my fiancé. But the flashes of blonde hair and unmistakable arrow tattoo at the top of her back kindly informed me that there was no fucking emergency.

---