Page 81 of The Fate Of Us

Her hands found my shirt, pulling and tugging me deeper into the kiss. It felt like my soulwas alight; glowing from her presence. We shuffled until we were both up on our knees, still beside the couch, but our bodies taller, free to roam each other. I felt the weight of the last seven years fall off me like snow melting off a mountain, rolling down the valleys of my back where her hands were now resting.

One of my hands skated to the back of her neck, angling it so I could glide my tongueover hers, kiss her deeper, and make her feel as special as I hoped she knew she was.Her skin felt so right, pressing against mine. The ends of her hair felt right as they slipped between my fingertips. The way my palm cupped the back of her neck was indescribable.

And when she snuck a breath, breaking apart our lips and darting her eyes up to find me, it felt as though time had stopped. When she looked at me for the moment she did, a billion and one questions weaving through the flames trapped behind her eyes, I wished for the world to stop turning.

I was convinced she was about to pull away for good when her eyes fell between us, her fingertips skimming over the wetness of her lips, like she needed a moment to process what we'd done. But in what felt like a fraction of a heartbeat, her eyes found mine again, her hands wrapped around my neck, and our mouths collided with a force that felt charged.

By what, I couldn't find the strength to question. I didn't want to think about anything at this moment.

I didn’t want to think about what this meant. What the clawing at my back meant to her. Ididn’t want the hope of what we were doing to drain and make us snap out of it. I wanted to savour the moment, remembering how her lips fit perfectly around mine.

The sun tanned the sides of our faces, the warmth similar to the one in the pit of mystomach.

With each tug of her hands on my shirt, another year of silence faded away. With eachswipe of her tongue across mine, another memory I’d promised to forget became a movie in my head. I was changing above her, above us, and I had to wonder what had stopped us from healing if a little kiss was all it took to forget.

Anxiety right now was something I’d never once experienced. Nervous was a feeling Ionly had to act out. Overthinking was a legend. Shaky legs were pretended. The silence was a brass band, orchestrating around us. Everything bad between us turned as hopeful as the sun that was shining down on us.

And for a split second, when I kissed her deeper and dropped my hands to her waist, I feltstrong enough, sure enough, to whisper the three words I hadn’t let slip past my lips since I was eighteen years old.

Until the sun flew behind a cloud, greying the moment, and she pulled away.

Her head fell forward, her now shaking hand dragging across her lips. I couldn’t makeout what she mumbled, not even when she repeated herself. As I stared at the crown of her head, a million words marched their way to the tip of my tongue, but for the life of me, I couldn’t bring myself to speak.

Scared of saying the wrong thing to ruin whatever had just changed.

“I’m sorry,”

That was all I had to say to get her eyes back on me, those bleak and teary eyes that hadcompletely lost their sparkle. That didn’t fill me with hope; that my kiss had drained all the life from her. It didn’t make what she said next feel like the hope that only just orbited us.

“Me too,” she whispered, a single tear trailing down to her cheek before I swattedit away.

‘Addy, don’t think that—”

“I’m not reading into this. I promise.” She shook her head, and I mirrored her, a matchingtear to the one that skated halfway down her face leaving my eye, because that’s not what I was going to say at all—

“I have to go.” she rushed, and before I knew it she was on her bare feet and toweringover me.

I got to my feet, too, to urge her to stay. To tell her that I wanted her to read into things. Iwanted her to think this meant something. Because it did. Oh my God, did it mean something. It was proof that, as she said, our love was unconditional.

There was no misunderstanding that the Gods could conjure up that could ever keep usapart.

But she left, picking up one of the eight copies of her book, and strode towards the door.

It slammed not a moment later, leaving me alone again, my heartbeat climbing the hill it had climbed a million times before. Hiking the path it knew so well.

Chapter twenty-four

Adaline

Idon’tknowhowmany moments there’ve been where I’ve wished to go back in time. For atime machine to exist. I’ve lost count.

But if one did exist, the first place I’d ask it to take me back to would be the moment before I lefthome. Before I left Goldie to fend off our parents by herself. I’d stay a little longer. I’d stay and make sure she wasn’t following in my constantly watched footsteps. I’d stay until I knew she was capable of telling my parents that she didn’t want the life they’d written for me.

But I suppose if I did that, I probably wouldn’t be where I am now. The butterfly effectand all that.

I wouldn’t have lived the life I’m thankful I had the opportunity to live. Granted, it wasn’tthe one I wanted, but it was the one I knew, was comfortable with, and one that I knew would have my back until I found the confidence to stand on my own.

Still, I wish I’d stayed with my sister that little bit longer.

---