Page 9 of The Fate Of Us

My hand flew to my mouth to cover the gasp that was trying to slip through the cracks inmy fingers, tears stinging my eyes and another crack forming in my heart.

Twenty-six.

Twenty-six auditions.

Are they idiots? Have they officially lost their minds?

She’s just a kid. Barely eighteen. Her weekends should be spent at the mall, going toparties and pep rallies, and hanging out with friends. Even studying! Not being driven around the smoggy highways of L.A., auditioning for God knows what stupid commercial or soul-sucking kids show.

She needs a childhood. A real one. She needs to experience what I never had the chanceto.

I sneak a glance at the almost black clouds that were still drifting over the city, thatequally dark voice thundering in my head.

It’s your fault they do this to her.

If you didn't leave, they would’ve left her alone.

You were selfish, you got your freedom, just to make Goldie take your place as thesuperstar.

My head tipped forward as I tried to take a breath, the air around me turning cold andsharp. Peeling my hand away from my gaped mouth, I straightened my back.

“Goldie… I’m so sorry, honey. I’m…” My tear-smothered voice managed, trying mybest to hide the cracks in it. I’d be damned if I let this girl hear how much what she just told me is breaking my heart.

I tried again, this time getting in enough air to power me. “Listen to me, honey, you’regonna be okay. I know it feels like this is all your life is going to amount to, but trust me, it won’t be. Your best days are still so far away in the future, which is why you can’t see them, or imagine them yet… I know you’re strong. You are so much stronger than I was at your age.”

It felt like I could barely lift my shaky voice above a whisper, but I took a few deep breaths before suggesting, “Do you think that maybe you could mention to Mom, or Dad, that acting isn’t what you want to do?”

“Addy, I’ve tried. They won’t listen. I pulled them both to the dining room table lastweekend and explained to them what I wanted to do after high school, and how I didn’t see acting as a lifelong thing. I even gave them a bunch of college flyers, the Liberty Grove ones I showed you, and welcome packs I’d got in the mail, but they wouldn’t look at them. They told me that you didn’t want to go to college because you loved acting so much, and that I should feel the same.”

My parents didn’t lie about that. I didn’t want to go to college. Not because I thought itwasn’t important, or that I wouldn’t benefit from it, I knew I would. And it certainly wasn’t because I loved acting more than my education. That part was a lie.

The reason I didn’t go was because of the contract they’d convinced me to sign, the one that tied me to a three-movie deal that would cost a fortune to get out of. They convinced me that this kind of exposure to the world would treat me better than any college experience would. And I listened to them. Back then, I felt like I owed them that much.

But just because I had, didn’t mean that Goldie had to.

“They’re right, I didn’t want to go. Butyouare your own person, Goldie, you get tochoose your path in life. Don’t let my choices affect yours. If you want to apply to colleges, do it. I’ll be there with you every step of the way. And if you need me to come with you for open days or interviews—”

“You’d come with me?”

“Of course I would. Tell me a date and a time, and I’ll be there.”

I felt the hesitation on her end, like she was trying to form the perfect sentence. “No,Addy, you’ve got so much going on right now. I don’t want to be a burden. And… I want to do this myself. I know I can get through to them. Just like Lia, the girl in your book who stood up to the evil fairy and won her life back. I know I can do it, Addy. I know I can. ”

I blinked the last of the tears away, the cracks in my heart going unnoticed as they were filling with the pride and adoration I had for this girl. “Are you sure?”

“I’m positive, Addy… I’m a fighter.” I felt her smile, with every ounce of power she hadcrowding her words. And just as I smiled too, a beam of sunlight, piercing its way through the darkness, brightened up the room.

“Well, I have some news that will cheer you up.”

“Oh my God, tell me!”

A true giggle, full of laughter, slipped past my lips this time. “Part of the shoot I’mcurrently on is in L.A! After six weeks of filming here, I’ll be back home!”

Nothing could compare to hearing the gasp that left her mouth. I wasn’t going to tell herabout the L.A. shoot, I was just going to turn up and surprise her. But after this conversation, I wanted to give her something to look forward to. She needed the hope of one of the good days I just promised her was on the way.

“Are you kidding! Oh my God, I can’t wait to see you!” Rushes of air broke past hersqueals, sending me a mental image of her jumping around her room, one of her signature smiles stuck to her face, her golden blonde hair swishing around her.

The corners of my mouth tugged up, stretching my smile and I settled my spine back intothe bean bag. “Me neither, honey.”

---