Page 103 of Starstruck

“Nervous, not ready.”

I couldn’t help but laugh softly, the sound light and airy in thewarmth of the candlelight that glowed around us like honey. “You’ll be fine. You’re always fine.” I said it with such conviction, a silent plea that we could both convince ourselves of it. But even as I tried to bolster his confidence, my own nerves fluttered beneath my skin, echoing the unease in his eyes.

With each step we took out of my room, the anticipation coiled tighter in my stomach. I savoured the air around us—a blend of cinnamon and roasting turkey, scents that felt like a home I didn’t grow up in. As we continued down the hall, the atmosphere felt electric, charged with something unspoken that simmered just beneath the surface. I glanced up at him, capturing the way his eyes sparkled in the candlelight, and my breath caught in my throat.

For a heartbeat, I imagined crossing that line, believing that this was real, that there was nothing forced about the way he looked at me, the way we fit together like puzzle pieces. I wanted to pull him closer, to erase the distance between us, like we’d done once before, to whisper that he was everything I wanted, even if I wasn't ready for it.

But I could feel the reality creeping back in, the awareness that he was slipping away, hiding behind his smile.Leaving.

This was temporary—a mere blip in the grand scheme of our lives. I had to remind myself of that, even as my heart begged to ignore it.

Still, I clung to the hope that tonight could be different, that for just a moment, we could transcend the boundaries we’d set. As we moved forward together, down the stairs, our hearts beat in sync, and I let myself dream of what could be, even if it was just for tonight.

chapter thirty three

break my heart and pass me the yams

Despite the war that was unfolding in my head, I hadn’t stopped smiling since we all sat down for dinner.

My parents had truly outdone themselves with the food, the tablesetting, and the way we felt like a normal family for the first time in so long. Everything about it was just what I’d been waiting for.

The dining room was flooded with warm light, keeping us toastyfrom the snow that had started to fall heavier outside, but in truth, it only added to how magical everything was starting to feel. Even Tristan was smiling, and when I occasionally shifted my eyes to watch him from beside me, most of the time he was already looking at me, with the same smile mirrored on his lips.

The butterflies soared in my stomach when he winked at me, andfor the life of me, I wasn’t sure what to do about it.

He pulled his hand away from you.

Things went too far back in New York.

You’re in over your silly little head—

“Mom,” Addy blurted, drawing me away from the voices in my head.“You’re gonna have to send me that yam recipe, because that… I don’t even have any words for that.” Addy practically moaned with a mouthful of the yams in question, smears of marshmallow across her mouth.

My mom put her fork down and raised her hands in the air. “I’m not takingcredit for that, it was all your father.” Every head at the table swished to my Dad, apart from Tristan, who was still devouring his plate, until he caught on to where we were all looking.

I barely giggled at him before my dad piped up. “What? I’ve alwaysliked cooking.”

“Since when?” Me and Addy said at the same time.

Dad let a laugh slip past his lips before bringing his wine glass to hismouth. “Since forever, I just…” His eyes wandered to me and Addy, ping-ponging between us. “I just forgot what was really important for a while.” A painful smile shone on his face, his eyes dipping into the bottom of his glass, like he was still too ashamed to stare at us for longer than a second.

I wished he wasn’t. I know what he did, how he pushed us into aworld we weren’t ready to live in, was wrong, and Addy and I both know that he knows that. So what was the point in reminding him? What was the point of refusing to repair the relationship?

There wasn’t one. It was simple.

Which was why I gave Addy a nod, and why she smiled back andcleared her throat, shuffling in her chair before she announced, “I wanna say what I’m thankful for now.”

Mom shimmied herself before raising her glass. “Take it away, littlebird.”

Addy let a giggle slip past her lips before she smiled. “I’m thankfulfor my family, for the fact that I’m in a job that I truly love now.” She turned her head to Nate, her fiery eyes simmering as she took him in and laid a hand over his. “I’m beyond thankful for you, that you're back in my life and I get to wake up next to you every morning.” Nate tilted his head before picking up my sister's hand and kissing the back of it.

My heart bloomed at the sight of it.

Then Addy shifted her head and looked directly at me. “And I’m grateful thatmy little sister is only a few minutes away now, and that she’s taking on the world in her own way.”

I had to suck my bottom lip between my teeth to stop it fromquivering.

Addy shook her head, looking to him. “Nate?”

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