Page 52 of Starstruck

“This was your idea, after all, and if you want to back out at anytime, if being my fake girlfriend is shit, then we’ll stop. But if you want to help me, I’ll do everything I can to make this part of your life that little easier.”

I don’t know what tapped on my heart in that moment, what thatsharp pain was as I spoke those words, but I tried to ignore it, at least until I was back in the dorm and I could write it down to a riff.

She considered it for a moment, her golden eyes roaming mine,almost searching for the flaws in her plan. But I didn’t think she’d find any, because, although it was crazy, this made sense.

She’d get her guidance.

I’d get my privacy.

Her hand outstretched before me. “So, do we have a deal then,Harper?”

I lifted my hand to reach hers, closing around her soft palms andswearing I could hear her breath catch as they locked. “We have a deal, Moore.” I felt a smile beam on my face. “Thank you for thinking of it.”

“And thank you for not laughing in my face. ”

“Never, Gold’s.”

Her eyes held mine, and for a moment, it was like we’d slipped into a world of our own, untouched by everything outside of it. There was a warmth there, something delicate, hovering just on the edge of what we might say, what we might admit if we dared. I could feel her guard lowering, an unspoken question in her gaze that mirrored my own.

But then the weight of reality drifted back between us. Her brows drew together, her expression shifting as the world beyond us settled into focus again. “Wait… what about the others?” she whispered, her voice barely above a breath. “Do we tell them, or… should we keep this up in front of them?”

“I guess thatdepends,” I breathed, stepping closer until our fingers naturally intertwined, the world outside fading for just one more moment. “What do we do if we’re in the halls, holding hands like this, and Cora, Finn, or Daisy walks by and asks what’s going on?” I looked down at our hands, then back at her. “Would it be easier to just keep this up for everyone, the whole world?”

She shrugs, as a blush invades her cheeks. “To be honest, I’m kindof embarrassed about the whole ‘dating 101’ thing. Regardless of the faerie smut on my nightstand, the girls don't know about this. And I’m still working on being honest, and not keeping everything in my head for once, so if we can keep this between us I’d like that.” She nodded, more for herself. “We’ll just say it’s casual, whatever is between us.”

I nod, but before I can retreat into my head, her mouth gapesagain. “And I guess if you’re planning on leaving soon, we won’t have to pretend for long… right?”

No. No. No—

“Yeah.” I nodded. “Absolutely.”

She chuckled. “Okay.”

I had to wonder if I’d ever get sick of wearing this mask every day,for however long it took me until I could look in the mirror and fully recognise the bloke staring back at me. But whenever I seemed to exist around Goldie, my mind sort of wandered, and no matter where it went, she was always there, always on the horizon of my thoughts. She made me forget about everything that had wounded me up here, and everything that made me crave the darkness.

She made me feel like a better version of who I was whenever I wasnear her. I wasn't a fuck-up. I wasn't reckless.

I was me.

But she’s right; music is what I want. I can’t forget that. And whenI could see a version of myself that I liked, I’d do it right this time. I wouldn’t get sucked into the wrong crowds. I knew I could trust myself to be sensible. And this girl in front of me wants to be here. She fought to be here.

The only way we made sense was to pretend to have feelings foreach other. And when we took a few steps away from the halls, the tracery, and the gardens, it was as clear as the autumn skies above us.

Her future was here, and mine wasn’t.

I traced her features while we let what we were about to do sink in,before I watched her mouth slip open, “Just… one thing.”

“What is it?”

She looked off to the side for a moment, before her arms wrappedaround her waist. “What happens if we… what happens if we start to… get feelings?”

I had to swallow whatever had lodged in my throat. “What do youmean?”

Her nod was small, but her eyes grew wide. “We’ll be close, Tristan.If I’ve learned anything from pretending to like someone for the cameras, it’s that sometimes the lines between fiction and real life can be blurry, and before you know it you’re crushing on someone who is only acting out their feelings.”

I eye her.

She sighs. “Jamie Devon, who played my first TV boyfriend, Icrushed on him a bit hard and when I told him I liked him, he called me stupid and told me that his feelings for me weren’t real. I was thirteen and clueless, and I’ve learned my lesson.”

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