Page 65 of Starstruck

“I’m ‘appy you’ve found yourself some mates, we both are,” hecontinued, softer for a second before the weight of his words came crashing back. “But you’ve got to keep your head straight. Remember what’s at stake here. The end goal of all this.”

My dreams—they were what mattered.

But he was right, with the world watching, with my music touchingplaces even I hadn’t stepped foot, this wasn’t the time to lose sight of what I was protecting.

Fame wasn’t just a spotlight; it was a magnifying glass, and I wasstanding dead centre. I could almost hear the panic under his calm words, the unspoken fear that I might slip, that someone might dig too deep.

Every new friend, every moment I let my guard down, was a risk.And with the world watching, the cost of getting close to anyone felt like it could burn everything to the ground.

My heart sank further, my eyes soaking up the room. “Yeah,” Istuttered. “Yeah, I get it.”

“Alright then, mate. I’ll let you head off, and call me if you needanything.”

“I will. In a bit, Dad.”

The incessant beeping from the call ending had me tossing my phoneto the end of the bed, the ever-flowing current of thoughts that had turned unruly forcing my body back down on the bed.

I was in a hundred different minds. About everything.

I had the sense to slap myself, just to make sure that I hadn’t justdreamt that the label saw something in me, enough to offer to produce a whole fucking album. But I couldn’t stop myself from wondering whether I’d be ready to leave the life I’d slowly built up for myself here. A normal life, filled with real people and not an addictive substance in sight.

But I had to look at the bigger picture. What I wanted.

And that was always going to be music.

We’re two different people with different futures who belong ondifferent sides of the world.

What I’d said to Goldie the other day boomed in my head, remindingme of exactly where my heart lay.

It lay in the shadows, where everything about why I came herewould be safe. Keeping that safe would protect my future, my music, and everything I’d always known I’d wanted.

The bathroom doors creaky hinges grabbed my attention before itlifted to Finn, who cocked his brow. “You alright, dude? You’re sweating.”

Was I?

I swiped at my forehead to discover the slight sheen that hadmanifested since I’d spoken to my dad before wiping the excess on my jeans, pulling myself off the bed and grabbing my hoodie that I’d yanked off before.

“I’m good.” I rushed, before grabbing my guitar and kicking back onmy trainers. “I’m heading out for a while.”

“But I thought we were meeting Jess for—”

“Maybe another time.”

And before he could persuade me to stay, I opened thedoor and fled out into the hallway, making a beeline for the lift.

My eyes squeezed tight as I stepped inside and threw my head backagainst the metal, and again, and again, all the while convincing myself that the chant in my head was something I needed to worship to ensure my future, but every time it rang in my head, all I wanted to do was scream.

Stay in the shadows.

Stay in the shadows.

Stay in the fucking shadows.

chapter twenty

i was supposed to enjoy breaking the rules

Tristan

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