Page 77 of Starstruck

I didn’t smell that much like Tristan anymore, thanks to living in a dorm with two girls that had one too many body sprays that smelt nothing but sweet, but his scent still lingered, in a way that made me want to bunch up the extra fabric and snuggle myself in it.

The colour of it was the last thing on my mind, and it was probablythe first time I’d worn something black and not felt so invisible.

I huffed as I looked back at the girls. “I’m fine, and you can stopwith the sympathy stares.”

Rory dropped her bags to the floor, before grabbing somethingfrom a Rolling Pin Bakery bag, hopping on my bed and curling up beside me. “Here, it’s pumpkin spice with pumpkin cream, and an extra shot.” She passed me the warm takeout cup, with a signature Rory doodle on the lid.

This time it was something written in French.

Tu es notre star préférée.

“It’s in French,” I said to her, my smile both thankful and confused.

She nodded. “It’ll be worth working out, trust me. And besides, Ithink we’re well in our right to give you sympathy stares when that look has been on your face all week.” Her hand rose to the crown of my head, smoothing out the tangled braids as she sighed. “Has… has something happened? With your parents? Or with… Tristan?”

I think a better question would be what hasn’t happened.

Not with my parents, they were fine. More than fine if the movingpictures they sent over said anything.

But with Tristan… I had no idea what was happening.

I hadn’t seen him in at least a week, and for people who have spentnearly every day together since our first class, it felt strange. That was the other reason I’d been rotting away with my thoughts, wondering what was going on with him.

He hadn’t responded when I texted him the other day, or the dayafter that. I didn’t think much of it, knowing that he now had an album to be working on, I had an image of him tucked away in his dorm with a guitar in his lap play across my mind. But then Monday rolled around, and our usual run-in outside Etiolle’s class never happened. Or the next day. Or for the rest of the week.

Finn and Jess mentioned he wasn’t feeling great, but when I sawthem a few days later and I still hadn’t heard from him, I tried my best to coax whatever was going on out of them. But if anything, they were just as clueless as I was.

“He’s fine. Just… busy, I guess. We haven’t seen him much either.”Was what Jess told me.

“He rarely leaves the dorm, Goldie. But when I come in, it doesn’ttake him long to grab his guitar and go out.”Finn confessed, which did nothing for my erratic heartbeat and overthinking tendencies.

I wondered if this was where it all began to slip away. Where I’dplayed my part, and he no longer needed me. Soon, he’d disappear—back to his hometown, to a life that never had room for me in the first place. I should’ve seen it coming, and should’ve prepared myself, but the thought still blindsided me.

Part of me felt thrilled for him. There wasn’t a doubt in my mindthat he deserved his shot, deserved to prove everyone who doubted him wrong. But another part, a quieter part I tried not to listen to, was struggling with the fact that whatever this was—whatever we were—had started and ended so fast that I wasn’t sure if I’d imagined the whole thing.

I shake my head, shifting my eyes back to the girls. “No, nothinghappened.” I dropped their stares for a moment, picking the already chipped polish from my nails. “It’s just…” I let my head fall back against the wall. “The first time you guys knew you liked someone, really liked someone, did it feel like everything had changed? Like… somehow you could feel yourself changing?”

Quick as a flash, Cora nodded, as she dropped her bags and hoppedup onto Daisy’s bed. “God, yes.” Her bottom lip sank between her teeth before she blew out a laugh. “Before I came here, there was this girl in the year above me, Sienna, who I’d had a thing for since I was thirteen. We both did the school musical one year, and you know the deal with theatre kids; we all crush on each other until the dress rehearsals when everyone gets stressed and hates each other, but then come the final show we're all crying about how much this experience has changed us."

We all huffed a laugh at that.

“But for whatever reason, Sienna and I stuck by each other, and I knew she was bi like me, so I didn't feel weird about letting myself imagine what it would be like to be with her.” She scooted back, hugging her knees. “It was the first time that I’d ever felt this way about someone, and even when I think back on it now, my heart skips, remembering just how intense it felt to feel such things for another person.” Her sigh was the definition of dramatic. "But then she moved schools and I never saw the love of my life again."

I chuckled. "Shakespeare should have rose from the dead to turn that into a play."

"I'll call him." Cora quipped.

Daisy emerged from the end of the room, and joined Cora on herbed. “Not that it’s any news to you guys, but when I realised that I was getting feelings for Jesse, when we were younger, I thought I was dying.” Her smile widened as we all laughed. “No, I’m serious, when I’d look at him, or when he’d smile at me from across our dining table when Finn would invite him over, which was nearly every night, I’d get this drop in my stomach and it was like the whole world was falling from under my feet. I’d get fidgety and nervous and I had no idea what was happening. Until I told my mom, and she explained what was going on and reassured me that I wasn’t on my way out.”

Rory sat up straight. “Not to change the subject, but, does heknow, Dais? That you liked him?”

Daisy shook her head. “He’s got no idea that Ilikehim. But that’sprobably for the best, he’s Finn’s best friend, we’ve known each other since birth, it’d be weird.” She squeezed her eyes and shook her head. “Anyway, Rory you’re up.”

Rory let out a sigh. “Ryan Hatterson, my first and only boyfriend—”

“Wait,” Daisy stopped her. “As in the Ryan Hatterson on the hockeyteam?”

Rory nodded, her smile fading as she spoke. “Yeah, that’s the one.”

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