Page 120 of Wonderstruck

The words hung in the air between us, heavy andcutting. For a moment, when his head dropped and his eyes squeezed shut, I though he’d leave. But he didn’t. Instead, his shoulders slumped as his head rose, taking a few steps toward me, close enough to watch his blue eyes grow shiny.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice cracking ashe shook his head. “For everything. For what I did to you.”

We should go out sometime.

We should be together.

We’re perfect.

We were never real, you idiot.

I squeezed my eyes shut, only for a moment,before they opened and locked onto him.But the second I noticed the emotions blooming in his eyes, I froze.

Ryan Hatterson didn’t cry. At least, notthe Ryan I knew. But here he was, standing in front of me, two twin tears slipping down his face.

“It’s uh… just… my sister,” he choked out, hishands locking at the back of his neck. “She’s a junior in high school, and at her prom, some of the basketball guys… they humiliated her.”

The string of my heart pulled.That poor girl.

Ryan pulled his head back as his arms flailed infront of him. “Pulled some stupid fucking prank on her and when she came home crying,” His eyes flew to me as he swallowed. “All I could think about was you. About how I… hurt you. How I didn’t even realise what I was…”

His words hit me like a slap. My mind reeled,trying to process the raw emotion in his voice, the regret etched into his features.

The second I realised that whatever Ryan hadsaid to me, promised me during high school had been a lie, it felt like the world was ending. That there was no coming back from this level of destruction. And I know we all think that we’re the exception. That the kind of heartbreak you read about will pass us by. But I truly thought I’d had enough heartbreak to last a lifetime, and that putting my heart through anything more would mean it would never recover. That there would be no hope left for it.

Butthinking about that girl who was crying intoher Dad’s chest the night Ryan confessed… I didn’t recognise her anymore. I’d changed. I had perspective. I had enough armour around my heart that I knew it was safe in case history ever wanted to repeat itself.

And I knew when to give second chances.

“Ryan…” I started, then stopped. I took a breath,steadying myself. “It hurt. What you did to me, it hurt a lot. And I still don’t know why you did it. I don’t want to know. But… that was a long time ago. I've been through worse since then and honestly? I don’t think about it that much anymore.”

“But I do,” he blurted out, his voice raw. “I thinkabout it all the time, Rory. I thought about it every time I saw you last year. When I saw you a few months ago at the first game of the season. Hell, I even thought about it when you were wearing my jersey last week.”

My breath caught, my cheeks burning.

Oh crap.

“You saw that?”

He nodded, his smile soft. “I did. But it’s cool.The second I saw you arguing with Rhodes I kind of put two and two together.”

I screwed up my face. “I’m sorry.”

He waved me off. “It’s fine. My last name washappy to help.” He let out a laugh, and for a moment I remembered why I fell for this man in the first place. “But I mean it, I think about how I was such a coward, how I followed everyone else instead of standing up for you. I should have protected you. I should have…” He trailed off, his shoulders shaking as he exhales.

I’m stunned into silence. The Ryan I'd come to know wasalways so sure of himself, so arrogant. This version of him—broken, remorseful—was someone I barely recognised.

“You don’t have to do this,” I said softly. “Whatever guilt you’re carrying, it’s yours. Not mine. I’ve moved on.”

He shook his head. “I’m not here for me. I’mhere because you deserve to hear it. You deserve to know that what happened wasn’t your fault. That you didn’t deserve any of it.”

My throat tightened, and I glanced over to the ice.

Hearing those words after so many years stirred something deep inside me, something I’d buried. “Ryan…”

“Please,” he interrupted, his voice steady now.“Just let me say it. I know I can’t change the past. I can’t undo the way I hurt you. But I want you to know I’m sorry. Truly. I…” He hesitated, then adds, “I want to be better. I’ve been trying to be better. Because there was no way I was comforting my sister when I had all this weighing down on me. I just couldn’t.”

The more I heard it in his voice—that quiet, raw vulnerability—the more it wrapped around me, chilling me like the rink air. And that’s when it hit me. This wasn’t a dream. Not the kind I used to hold onto like a lifeline. This wasn’t some scene I’d made up in my head while zoning out in class, some perfect version of my life where everything finally felt right. This was real. And I didn’t know how to feel about one of my old dreams actually coming true.

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