Page 13 of Wonderstruck

And hearing that, the undeniable truth that I’d somehow found the right peopleto trust with such vulnerable parts of me, was the final thing I needed to force a sob out of me, and their holds grew tighter.

The thought of going back to that housefelt impossible, like trying to dig up something long buried and tangled in the dirt. But here, with them, maybe it was something I didn’t have to do alone.

Not anymore.

chapter five

i had to try. for her.

“Why is French so fucking complicated?”

I didn’t realise I’d said that out loud until I heard Jesse bark a laugh from the couch. His elbows were on his knees, the Atari controlled clawed in his hands, and his attention still on the endless play of Space Invaders.

“You know, as the person who used to smuggle you fruit roll-ups in fourth grade, I would have at least thought you’d repay a favour and, I don’t know, actually care aboutmy inner turmoil.”

I kept my eyes trained on him whenhe shrugged. “Oh, I do,” he said over hisshoulder, his eyes still on the TV. “I’m just letting you wallow in what a bad choice of minor subject you picked.” After a few intense slams of the buttons, the YOU LOSE screen popping up, Jess tossed the controller next to him, before turning his head around and dishing me a shit-eating smile."Thank you for the roll-ups though."

I narrowed my eyes. “I wished the others saw how evil you are.”

He laughed again, stretching up fromthe cushions and rolling up the sleeves of his Lions jersey. “Nah, man. Let them think I’m still the shy one. At least until junior year. Then I’ll wreak havoc.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought as my eyes flew back to my textbook.The most havoc I was sure that Jesse would wreak would be un-organising his records and leaving the milk in the fridge for a day longer than the sell-by date.

“Yeah, uh huh.” I mumbled to him as he wandered past the island I’d been glued to all afternoon, heading for the kitchen thatwas triple the size of the tiny one we had in the dorms last year.

Now that we weren’t freshmen, weall decided, me, Tristan, and Jess, that moving in together would be a missed opportunity if we didn’t. What made that decision even easier was when Tristan's dad started talking to us after Tristan’s New York show last May, telling us he had an apartment sitting empty in Chelsea from when he used to live here. He made it clear that it was ours if we wanted it, so long as we took care of the bills.

I lifted my head from my blurrynotes, my gaze drifting to the window. The skyline outside blurred into soft edges, fire escapes tangled with ivy from JoJo’s, the lady in the apartment above us, balcony, spilling over with potted plants that looked like they’d seen better days—not that she’d ever admit it.

A faint rustle from the kitchenbarely registered before Maple, JoJo’s cat thathad taken a liking to us, leapt onto the island, her paws landing with the grace of someone who knewshe could get away with anything. Without missing a beat, she nudged my folded arms, then flopped across mynotes like they were placed there just for her, her purring loud enough to drown out the city below.

“Alright, alright,” I murmured, reaching up to scratch her ear. “Break time, I getit.”

I’d been back for three days, andthe workload was already piling up. And if I was a better student I would have taken my ass down to the library and not left until it was done.

But I, shock-horror to no one, was not a good student.

The only reason I had the workload was because of the scholarship that allowed me to pursue hockey, but also required me to pick a minor for me to get the academic credits needed to graduate.And my professors were great—really, they couldn’t be more helpful. But I think they saw what I was already realising about myself.

I sucked at French.

If it weren’t for the vision of me someday skating onto the ice in a QuebecKnights jersey, I wouldn’t have touched the subject with a ten-foot hockey stick. I mean, who willingly volunteers to stumble through French verbs that seem specifically designed to ruin your day?

I knew I didn't need to be fluent—or even set foot in Quebec if I ever made it ontothe team—but when I scrolled through the list of options I could have chosen from, picking French seemed like a solid plan.Learn the language, impress the scouts, and maybe wow a journalist or two with a few sentences about teamwork and croissants. It seemed… simple.

When the hockey scholarship came through, it felt like the universe was patting me on the back and saying,Oui, mon ami, this is your path.But now? Sitting here with half a textbook’s worth of conjugations laughing inmy face, I was starting to wonder if I’d been just a little too ambitious.

Or, you know, delusional.

Stroking my hand over Maple’sbrown, buttery fur, I slipped off my stool and turned my back, pulling open the refrigerator and almost salivating at the last remaining Dr. Pepper can that sat on the soda shelf. Grabbing a glass straw from the drawer, I took the opportunity, now that Jesse’s eight-foot-tall body wasn’t hogging it, to sink into the couch cushions, letting them eat me up and hopefully coax a pre-practice nap out of me. Taking me away, just for an hour or two, from everything that was weighing down on my shoulders.

But it seemed that the universewanted to fuck with me. Like it had been doing every day since being back.

My usual route to the languagespavilion? Blocked. Renovations, of course, because fuck me right? And, naturally, that little diversion led me straight into Rory. I sit down to be semi-studious forthe first time since June and Maple decides that my notes must simply be her sleeping quarters for the afternoon.

And just as I thought I might finallycatch up on the broken sleep, while thehouse was unusually quiet for somewhere Tristan Harper resided—I felt my phone vibrate beneath me.

A groan escaped as I leaned backagainst the couch, dragging my hands over my face and sliding down my neck, before I liftjust enough to fish my phone out of my grey sweatpants. But the second I saw the name on the screen, the urge to launch it across the room became almost irresistible.

---