She moved close enough that I could catchthe sweet scent that always clung to her, her eyes softening. “Or maybe he didn’t know how to live in a world without the love of his life. Maybe seeing you and Daisy reminded him of her, and it’s too much.”
I shook my head, rolling my eyes. “I don’tthink that—”
She didn’t let me finish. “Surely if hewanted to leave, he would have—”
“He’s an asshole, Rory.” My voice rose,sharper than the burweed. “This isn’t some tragic love story you’ve dreamed up. He’s an immature son of a bitch who has resented us for the career he gave up and the life he didn’t have. And when the only reason he was here died, he saw his escape route from taking care of us.” My chest was heaving, the words leaving me breathless. “It’s not a fucking broken heart.”
The air between us went still, the onlysounds coming from the horses and afew birds somewhere in the distance. But it felt like too much.
“Finn?” She whispered, her hand reachingfor mine.
“Don’t.” It came out sharp, but felt like aplea.
Ignoring me entirely, she reached for myhand, her warm palms soothing me.“Please don’t push me out.”
I shook my head, yanking my hand fromunder hers. “I need some space.”
“Finn.”
“I said I need space.” I whipped my headaround, pinning her with my glare. “Please.”
The hurt in her eyes felt like being stabbedin my heart, but I couldn’t bear the pain of it, because I was the one who’d made her look like that. The only light in her eyes was from the glare of the sunrise, none of that sparkle that swam so naturally in them shining at all.
But quick as anything, I saw a burst of fire as her stare hardened. “When are you going to stop letting his actions control you?” My fingers tightened around the brush, as I felt her come closer. “When are you really going to detach yourself from him, Finn? I’ve seen you do it before, I've seen you forget everything that was holding you back last year. But right now I can’t see that version of you.”
My teeth grind against each other, my eyes squeezing shut.
But she’s right. She’s right, you goddamn idiot.
The subtle draft of her scent made me realise she'd moved beside me, her fingertips brushing the back of my hand thatwas still clenching the brush, each stroke like a promise that was guiding me back from the edge I was dangling off.
“Do you remember what we talked about the night I kissed you?”
I don’t want to push you away.
Then don’t. Because I’m not going to let you.
Is that a threat, Greene?
It’s a promise
The sweet echo of her voice made my eyes drift open, at the right angle to catchhers on mine. I nodded.
Her smile was everything. “I neverbreak a promise, Finn. And I’m not about to start now.” Her hand fell off mine and in an instant her arms were around my waist, the side of her face pressed against my chest. “I’m not losing you again.”
Again.
I was doing itagain.
I dropped the brush, letting it tumble into thedirt as I stepped toward her, wrapping my arms around her curvy frame and holding her close. My head hung low, my chin resting on the crown of her head, as my eyes cast onto the field. “I’m sorry.”
She shook her head against me, her voicegentle. “It’s okay. I’m sorry. I was just trying to help.”
“You do help.” I pulled back, sinking intothe green pools of her eyes. “You make everything better.”
“And you do the same for me.” Her head shook. “You make me laugh when I don’t want to because you hate seeing me sad. And all I want to do is ground you when you’re like this, because seeing you angry over something that isn’t worth your energy breaks me.”
I brush my thumb over her cheek, watching the storm behind her eyes begin to settle as one of her tears slipped into my palm.