Page 60 of Wonderstruck

It felt like a boulder had dropped in mystomach.“Umm, sorry.” I blinked again, andagain. “What are we debating, professor?”

The lady whose name I couldn't rememberturned her back to the room and used her arms to guide me to the board. “Whether or not it should be allowed to change the will of a deceased family member if the will is more than a decade old?”

It felt like time slowed as she said that,and immediately it was too much. Toomany emotions rose to the surface. Too many mentions of wills and deceased family and everything I was trying to ignore.

God, why the hell did I pick this class?

Why was I still here?

I scrubbed my face, taking in three sharpbreaths as quickly as I could, hoping itwould do something, anything for the lump in my throat and the stinging of my eyes.I really hated how my grief wasn’t on aregular schedule. That there was no warning system for when I was about to cry.Sometimes someone would ask mehow Iwas and I’d smile and say ‘I’m good’and neither of the words would be a lie. I was genuinely okay. I wasn’t thinking about Dad, or Mom, or how different everything was, and even when I did sit and think, I wouldn’t cry.

Part of me thought maybe I didn’t careabout being on my own as much as Ithought I did. But that wasn’t the case. Clearly. Because my professor said the word ‘will’ and I’m close to pulling an ugly crying face and bolting through those doors.

“Umm,” I managed, those three lettersall voicing in a different key than the last. Almost instinctively, my fingers began to pull at the frayed sleeves of my sweater, the inside of my lip squirming between my teeth as I tried my hardest to swallow that damn lump.“I’m sorry, I’m actually not sure—”

Three knocks sounded out from the doorbefore someone walked in, and it tookme no time at all to recognise the blonde hair that made me blush and the superhero-worthy stance he always seemed to exist in. It was his shoulders I think. Broad as anything.

Finn was here.What the hell was hedoing here?

I watched him as his eyes scanned the room, determination laced between hisbrows, before softening the moment he found me.

Before I could do anything, my professorturned her attention to him. “Sorry, can I help you?”

He let go of my gaze and nodded at her,his hands clasped against his torso inthe most proper way, before clearing his throat. ‘Yes, Professor. I’m ever so sorry to be interrupting what lookslike the most exciting class to ever be taught on Liberty’s grounds, but I need Miss Greene to come with me urgently.”

My professor raised her hand to her hip.“And what exactly do you need her for?”

Like the polar opposite of my raging heartbeat, calm as anything, Finnshrugged, his hands unclasping for a moment, before softly saying, “Group project emergency. The rest of us can’t wrap our heads around…” He angled his head to see the projector screen. “Executors rights… versus the state.” My head fell into my hand. “If she doesn’t come with me right now, our entire presentation is doomed, and I’m not emotionally prepared to retake this class.”

I managed to catch the end of her frownbefore she pulled her head back andshook it at him. “There’s no group project for this class.” Her brows screwed up further. “You’re not even in this class.”

Finn tilted his head, feigning deepthought. “Exactly. That’s how bad it is. It’s across-disciplinary disaster. You wouldn’t understand.”

My professor blinked, disbelief maskingher features before looking up towardsme with a pointed glare, then setting her eyes back on Finn. “Is this some kind of joke? If it is then I can assure you sure it’s far from funny.”

Finn shook his head, his smile pulledtight. “Do I look like the kind of personwho would joke about cross-disciplinary disasters?”

Her head was the very picture offrustration as she set her eyes on me, darkerthan they were a second ago if that was possible. “Miss Greene? Either stay where you are or go with this… thing… and get out of my class.”

That familiar scratch behind my chestdug its claws deeper again.

Leaving waswrong. Leaving would be rude. All this effort of constructing a class for me to just get up and leave because I wasn’t interested wasn’t polite.

It could be that simple. You just have tolet it be.

My eyes drift over to Finn, and like hecould see the raging thoughts pounding inmy head, he simply knocked his head to the side, signalling my escape.

Screw being polite.

I sucked in a breath, locking myshoulders as I stood, almost unconsciously. Igrabbed my bag, gathered my laptop and my water bottle and kept my head down. Eye contact would only make this harder, so the floor it was.

My trembling hands shook against mychest, my things clutched in tight. Ishuffled past a few of my classmates, avoiding their gazes too, before practically running down the steps until I was breezing past Finn, not letting go of my breath until I was out in the sunny hallway.

And suddenly I felt fifty pounds lighter.

Finn’s voice caught my attention as hebegan to leave the room. “Thank you, professor, good luck with the… whatever this class is about.”

Shutting the door with a soft slam, heturned back around to face me, pridebeaming in his smile. And I was finding it hard to pin mine down.

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