Page 67 of Wonderstruck

Aspen’s stare felt like a hug, groundingme for what felt like the moment I’d be let down. “It would mean commitment, Rory. To training, to technique, to everything about this place. About this world.”

I let her words settle.

Committment.

I didn't know why the word scared me. Iof all people didn’t suffer from commitment issues. If anything I wastoocommitted. Tell me I looked nice and I'd send you a birthday card every year. Tip me well and hey presto, you've just earned complimentary muffins every time you come into Flo’s.

But this? It was bigger than that. It was alifestyle change. Amindsetchange.

I shook my head as I let myself sink intoher emerald stare. “Aspen, I can’t just do this. I’d have to drop everything.”

“You’d have to drop out,” she saidmatter-of-factly.

Something dropped in my heart as shesaid that, although I didn’t know whetherthe way it began to sink was because dropping out wasn’t what I wanted, or whether admitting that itwaswhat I wanted felt too real to even think about.

“I can’t do that.” My voice cracked as I looked everywhere but at her. “I’d lose everything—my friends, my life…”Finn.

Everything that’s been keeping me from drowning since being back.

Aspen’s face softened, but she didn’tback down. “I’d be very surprised if dropping out was all it took for those people, who were screaming you’re name through that entire performance, to forget you.” Her hand reached behind my head, smoothing out the frizz.

“I can’t afford everything,” I argued, thewords tumbling out in a rush. “New skates, costumes, ice time—it’s too much.”

“Think about it,” Aspen said gently.“Sleep on it, breathe, and take some time toreallyask yourself if it's what you want about it.”

After a moment of staring, I nodded upat her, but my mind was already spinning into oblivion.

But for some reason, existing at the bottom felt like the only place I wanted to be to decide whether I wanted this.

1.Holy shit.

chapter seventeen

i'll make you laugh so you forget why you were ever sad

bambi

today at 13:54pm

knock knock.

oh no.

no. you’re supposed to say “who’s there?”

fine. who’s there?

ice.

i regret the day i texted you

ICE

seigneur, donne-moi la force.

ice who?

ice to see you.

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