Page 69 of Wonderstruck

"Hmm?" I murmured, turning to face her.

She folded her arms around her waist, the move weighted with exhaustion. “I asked you why we’re doing this again.”

“Oh.”

This wasn't the same girl I'd seen only the other day, after her recital. Her usual glow wasn't there, neither was the constant chirp in her voice that made you crack a smile even when you felt like shit. But still, it was a fair question. She didn’t need this anymore. She had her ice time with Aspen thanks to all those extra shifts at Flo’s—and what I was paying her for tutoring. She was covered.

But if I was being honest? I just wanted to spend more time with her.

Sure, we saw each other when she was helping me with French, but it wasn’t enough. I wanted more. Even if that made me a selfish hypocrite. Even if it made zero sense after I spent all of last year pushing her away. I was letting the walls crumble, and me being here right now was like setting up a detonator, waiting for them to fall completely.

And maybe that was the problem. Nothing had happened yet to make me freak out, and I was starting to wonder if there was anything to freak out about at all.

Even last week, when I sat in the audience at her recital, heart damn near beating out of my chest. The longer I watched her skate, the more I forgot why I’d been so scared. She was incredible. Peaceful. Happy. Everything I wasn’t sure I deserved to be near.

And yet, here I was.

Maybe I’d overthought it all. Maybe I was worried for nothing and self-aware enough to trust that I wasn’t like the man who didn’t raise me. Maybe it was time to stop running from what felt so damn right.

I smirked, letting a bit of my usual bravado slip through. “I told you—those jumps of yours are dangerous. The more practice you get, the better.”

She arched a brow, her lips twitching likeshe was trying not to smile. “And here I thought you were just fine tuning your bossy tendancies for when you’re captain next year.”

“I prefer strategic leader, to captain.” Iskated a slow circle around her, leaning back just enough to look unbothered. “Or skating high lord.” Her eyes narrowed as I flicked my wrist. “And I'm not bossy.”

Sherolled her eyes, but the corner of hermouth betrayed her. “Right. Strategic.Is that what we’re calling your sudden need to micromanage my jumps now?”

“You say micromanage. I say supervisewith fun.” I shot back, grinning.

Her face softened, and while her lips curved into the smallest of smiles, it didn’t reach her eyes. The fact that something was wrong was only getting clearer by the second. As though a storm cloud had made a permanent home above and was blocking any of her light from shining.

Screw it.

“Alright,” I said, skating closer until Istopped a few feet from her. “Skateand spill it.”

She blinked. “What?”

“Whatever it is that’s making you quiet.Get your ass moving and tell me what’s going on.” I reached out, giving her a little nudge on the shoulder.

“Finn.”

“Somethings up.” Our bodies were soclose I could see the clouds of air escaping her plump lips. “You being quiet last year wouldn’t have worried me. But now I’m used to the Rory who enjoys rambling about the importance of my pronunciation whilst trying to find ways to educate me about the cultural significance of Taylor Swift’s re-records.”

Her eye roll was quiet but impossible to look away from, as her voice dropped to barely a murmur. “Okay, firstly,youbrought up Taylor Swift first. The fact I won't stop talking about her is all your fault. And secondly, it's hard to educate someone who spends half his time theorising when rep tv is going to drop.”

I bit back my smile. “Exactly. I alreadyknowthe importance of them, but I let you talk anyway because I’ve never had the chance to see you just talk.” My head shook as I fell deep into her stare. “Which is why, when we spend an entire two-mile walk in silence, I know something is on your mind.”

Her eyes sparkled with questions, but when her lips parted and her eyes narrowed, I knew what I'd seen was pure fire. "Can I just ask, to clear things up in my head because this-" she waves her hands between us. "-is only getting more confusing the longer it goes on. But why do you care if I'm quiet? Why do you care aboutme?"

"Why do I care?"

Rory nodded.

I threw my hand out by my sides. "I don't know, because you're my friend. Because, as I said, I'm used to seeing you happy now. Because mercury is out of retrograde, I don't know!" My smile was wide, held there by nothing but confusion. "Or maybe because I'm tired of seeing you sad. How about that?"

Stillness became her as her eyes roamed mine, as though she was searching for the some hidden agenda. And I didn't blame her. Not with how new this still was between us, and certainly not when I knew her past relationship wasn't exactly the most truthful. She had every right to be wary, but all I could do was show her that she didn't need to be. Not anymore.

I glided an inch forward, close enough that I could connect the golden flecks in her eyes. "That night you got the call about your dad was awful, and seeing you just… crumble…" Her watery eyes darted between mine. "I had a moment where I wanted to vow to make sure you never ended up like that again."

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