Page 75 of Wonderstruck

To stop my lip from quivering I slipped itbetween my teeth, shaking my head softly. “If I chose to compete, then I’d have to drop everything.”

Hearing the words this time wasn’t as hardas when I first heard them, or even when I told Finn. But still, seeing how the girl's smiles faltered slightly, the puzzle pieces of my life clicking together for them, it jabbed at my heart.

“What do you mean by everything?” Cora asked, shifting her weight and crossing her legs.

I shrugged. “I’d have to drop out. OfLiberty.” My head sank. “If I wanted totake skating seriously, I’d have to train. A lot. I’d need ballet, ice time, new skates and everything else that goes into making a great skater. But that would mean I wouldn’t have time for classes.”

The room was so quiet I could hear myown breathing.

“What’s keeping you?” Goldie askedsoftly.

I blinked at her. "Huh?"

She leaned forward, her gaze steady. “Yousaid if you go all in, you’ll have to leave Liberty. But what’s keeping you here?”

“Everything.” The word felt heavy in mymouth. “My dad, mostly. I came here for him. But he’s gone now. His story’s over, and I’ve tried to love my degree but I hate it. Despise it.” I glanced at the girls, giving them a moment each. “And us… we barely see each other as it is. We’d see eachother even less if I wasn’t at Liberty. Where would that leave us?” I shook my head. “And then there’s the whole thing with Finn. What if I leave and he forgets me? Forgets whatever it is that’s compelling him to be around me.” I let my head drop, my thoughts clear as anything. “I’m scared of going all in without thinking about what I’d be losing if I left.”

The girls exchanged glances, their facesbeautiful tangles of every emotion thatwas running around my heart. Worry knitted in their brows, apprehensions glossed their eyes, and although they were smiling I couldn’t tell what they meant.

Finally, Daisy broke the silence, hershoulders rolling. “Show of hands, who’dforget about Rory if she dropped out?”

I looked around the room. No one raised their hand.

“Good,” Daisy said. “Who’d love Roryjust as much even if she wasn’t around, because she was focusing on her dreams?”

Like a flash, all three of their hands werein the air.

I felt my eyes begin to sting.

“Now, last one. Who here remembers thelook on Finn’s face when he was watching the recital, and can remember him swatting away something from his face, and not taking his eyes off that ice the entire time Rory was out there skating?”

Again, their hands were in the air.

Before I could question them, Daisylooked at me, the fairy lights dancing inthe green of her eyes. “Three things. One, even if you had told us you wanted to move to the other side of the world, we’d never forget you.”

Cora tilted her head at me. “And I’m alsopretty sure that we’d never stop loving you either.”

“True,” Goldie added.

Daisy giggled before locking eyes with meagain. “Two, I get what you mean, why being here would make you feel closer to your dad, like you're honouring him. But I’m pretty sure you’re honouring him every single day by being yourself, the girl he raised. Whether you carry on studying or not, if it doesn’t make you happy, it doesn’t belong in your life.”

I clenched down on my bottom lip, thoughI was pretty sure they could still see it quivering, whilst I did everything I could to stop the bulge of tears resting on my lash line to never fall.

But from the corner of my eye, I watchedGoldie lean over with a tissue in her hand.

Bon sang.1

I mouthed ‘thank you’ at her, before lookingback to Daisy.

“And three, I’ve lived with Finn my entirelife, and I’ve never seen him speechless before.” She shook her head, clearly seeing my head tilt. “I’m being serious, the boy never shuts up. He’s sarcastic, and loud and funny but… never speechless.” She eyed me. “And after you skated off we turned to him, and the look on his face Rory… I’ve never seen anyone look so enchanted by someone before.”

I felt my head drop, and allowed myself amoment to imagine it.

“So if they’re all the worries that you havethen I think it’s safe to say that you need to go for it,” Daisy said, her voice soft as anything.

I lifted my head slowly, looking at all threeof them, before I watched Goldie’s lips pry open. “It’s simple. Skating makes you happy right?”

I nodded. “Right.”

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