Page 81 of Wonderstruck

“I didn’t say no to her.”

His sarcastic smile was clear as anything,ever with the chipped guards from his helmet. “Oh, I’m sorry. You said nothing to her. Which is even worse.” His head shook, but not one part of it felt like disappointment. Instead, it felt more like desperation for what he was saying to finally sink in. “But regardless—saying nothing to her was pointless.”

I didn't know what to say to him, so instead I dropped my stare to the floor.

I wanted to tell him he was wrong. That I wasright to avoid her last year. That I had to be. If the sinking feeling in my gut—the one that whispered I’d end up like Dad if everything fell apart—was even half true, then keeping my distance was the only thing that made sense. Ignoring her, avoiding her, pretending everything she did didn’t make me lose my mind… it had to be worth something. It had to protect me from becoming the worst version of myself. Right?

But Jess wouldn’t be saying all this if hedidn’t believe it. He wasn’t the type to hand out blind reassurances or tell me what I wanted to hear. Jesse Callaghan was about as genuine as it got. He wouldn’t set me up for disaster just to watch me crash and burn later.

Still, hearing it was one thing. Accepting itwas another.

But there was a version of me, the one that offered to help her at the start of the year, that wanted to try and see sense in it. And maybe I was already on that road, because I was counting down the minutes until I could see her and that had to mean something.

Before I could ask Jess to clear his schedule so we could talk about this until they had to drag us out of here, my last name echoed off of every surface in the rink with a deep call.

“Rhodes!” Only a voice that deep couldbelong to Burton. “My office when you’re done.”

I threw my head over my shoulder in time tocatch coach walking back into his office.I wasn’t in the mood for lecturing. But he’dseen me, so bolting wasn't an option.

I turned back around to Jesse, his smile liftingas I looked at him. “Thank you.”

Heclapped me on my shoulder. “Tell Rory Isaid hi when you see her later.”

My eyes narrowed. “How do you know I’mseeing her later?”

His lips quirked as he walked backwards. “Ididn’t, but now I do. And don’t for one second back out of it—no do not give me that look Finn. You like her, and you should tell her. Actually, screw that, tell her everything. About your Dad. About last year. It could do you some good, and don’t fight me on this.” He spun around before giving me a pointed glare, heading towards the changing rooms with his arms wide. “Listen, if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change.”

My achey eyes narrowed on him. "Rocky quotes. Really?"

He shrugged unashamedly. "It's all I have." He sent me a salute. "See you later, man."

I let my eyes fall into the back of my head as itfell back, a groan crawling up my throat and bouncing off the walls.

Everything he said sounded right. He was rightabout me liking Rory, and maybe that was the part I was having trouble swallowing. Even though I’d known it since the first time I met her, known it when I watched her skate, known it when she asked me what happened between us the other day at the rink, it was strange hearing it.

Coming clean about my feelings meant coming clean about everything. But maybe it was time.

I shook my head. I needed to put thesethoughts on hold for whatever I was about to deal with in Burton's office.

Strapping on my blade guards I headed roundthe other side of the rink to his office, knocking quietly before opening the door. Burton sat behind his desk, a clipboard in hand, his brow furrowed as usual. He waved me in without looking up.

“Take a seat, Rhodes.”

I did, my knee bouncing slightly. Burton’sno-nonsense demeanour always made me feel like I was about to be scolded, even when I hadn’t done anything wrong. Like French, for example. I couldn’t help that I didn’t understand it, but was that ultimately my fault in his eyes? Of course it fucking was.

Having a feeling that he'd just called me inhere to see how my grades were doing, I beat him to it. “Listen if this is about my grades then I—”

“It’s not. Although from what I’m hearingfrom your professors it’s like you’re a whole new person.”

I should really buy Aurora something pretty.

I pulled my smile tight. “Glad to hear it.”

He set the clipboard down and looked at me, the air in the room thickening.“That was a good game against the Spartans the other week.”

His smile was putting me off. I didn’t like it.“Umm, thank you?”

He nodded, his wrists lifting from the desk.“You’ve been consistent. Focused. A powerhouse during practice. That’s what scouts look for, you know.”

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