Page 85 of Wonderstruck

Without thinking I let my handgraze her arm, before sliding down and lacing her hand in mine. I don’t know when we decided that it was okay to be this close to one another, when we openly cared for one another even though the whole world was watching, but I wasn’t about to fight it. This felt right.

Shefelt right.

She smiled up at me, our bodies still frozen on the sidewalk, and as though my thoughts were tattooed across my forehead, her lips glided open. “Is it just me who finds this odd sometimes?”

“What?” I asked, letting our hands dangle byeach other.

“This. Us.” I looked down at her,watching her brows knit as she looked back up to me. “I can’t remember when it happened exactly but somewhere between saving me from Ryan and now we suddenly hug in the middle of the street like we didn’t ever…”

I could see the words written acrossher face. Dancing in the space between her parted lips.

Hate each other.

“Well technically you hugged me,so…” I could see her fighting a smile, but I didn’t know whether it was down to what I’d said, or the fact our hands kept brushing in the breeze.“And I told you at the start of the year; I wanted to make things right. I wanted to be better.” I had to stop talking before everything came out. And the middle of the street wans’t the place to havethatconversation. So I cleared my throat. “What’s changed for you?”

She shrugged, her gaze shifting infront of her as our cold fingertips brushed again. “I think I realised that being happy was more important than holding onto a memory that made me anything but. And even though I could have very well gotten hurt again, I thought it was better than being sad for another year.”

Even with the people barging pastus, and the chaos that existed outside of our bubble, I didn’t take my eyes off her. Her confession gave me the strength to let some of that truth shine through. And to be honest, I didn’t think I could wait another second before admitting, “And I think I realised what I’d be losing if I didn’t try to win you back.”

She didn’t say anything. Justlooked at me, her eyes darting between mine, as though she was looking for the punchline.

Our knuckles grazed this time.

I carried on, clearing my throat. “Idon’t think I was ready last year. I was nervous and scared and it sounds ridiculous but I was.”

Her head shook softly. The backsof our hands met. “It doesn’t soundridiculous. It sounds honest.”

I smiled down at her. Our palmslingered. “But so many things have changed then.”

“Like?” Our fingers hooked.

I couldn’t pin down my smile if Itried. “Like the way I see you.”

And just like that, I took a breathand locked our hands.

Finally.

“I don’t look at you and see thethings that could go wrong if I give into every burning feeling I feel when I’m in the same room as you. I don’t want to put my shields up because keeping you out is harder than trying to stop a flood with nothing but a napkin. It’s getting easier to admit that I want this, and I know I’m still coming to terms with it in my head but not admitting it to myself, to you, has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

I took her other hand. “And I’m sorry. For not saying anything to you last year. Saying nothing back then was easier than admitting that I liked you.”

Her eyes widened, as I watched the rapid rise and fall of her chest. “You…” She choked the word,her eyes not slipping from mine. “You liked me?”

I like you.God, I like you, Aurora.So muchthat it aches, so much that like doesn’t even come close to what I feel when I look at you. Saying it feels wrong—like I’m trying to shove something infinite into a word too small to hold it. Saying I like you feels like I’m lying to myself. And I’m so damn tired of lying to myself.

Because the truth is, I've spent so long pretending that this feeling wasn’t there, pretending that I could live being ignorant to it.Pushing it down, pushingyouaway. But it never left. Not for a second. It’s in every breath, every thought, every moment I spend tryingnotto want you. And I do—Iwantyou. In a way that terrifies me. In a way that never stops, even when I try to convince myself it has.

And now, standing here, looking at you, knowing I hurt you—I don’t know if I have the right to say any of this. But if I don’t, I might lose the chance forever. So here it is:

I like you.I love you.And I amsosick of pretending otherwise.

But before I could get the wordsout, before I so much as brushed my thumb over the back of her hand and gave into every burning desire to tug her close enough to kiss her, the world turned to chaos.

The screech of tyres tore throughthe air, followed by a blaring horn. I barely had time to turn my head before it happened. Before white headlights blinded me.The car wasn’t speeding, but it wasfast. Fast enough that the driver’s panicked swerve to avoid the slick curb sent the vehicle lurching toward the sidewalk.

Toward Rory.

Her name came roaring out of mythroat so loud it hurt, and my hand flew out to grab her. But the timing was wrong—everything was wrong.

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