Page 84 of Declan's Dove

“Hey.” His other hand comes up to caress my cheek, wiping away the tear that’s skated down my cheek. “What’s this? What’s wrong?” The hand inside me stills, but doesn’t leave.

“You called him our son.” I smile, trying to hold back the tears burning the back of my eyes.

“He will be my son. As soon as we take care of this shit with your ex and you take my last name, Carter will too.” His voice brooks no room for argument, and I feel my heart flutter. I know it’s cliché, but it stutters at the realization that Declan means it. He’s meant every word he’s spoken. I wanted to believe him. I guess until now, I hadn’t. But now, I know.

Smiling up at the wonder that is Declan, I whisper, “What about the dreaded week every month? I’ll need panties then.”

Declan doesn’t question my change of subject, and his fingers begin to move inside me again, curling. A moan caresses my lips and brings another wicked smile to Declan’s face. “If I get you pregnant, we won’t have to worry about that for at least nine months.” Before I can even put into words what I feel about his declaration, his fingers pick up their pace and his thumb increases its pressure on my clit. My shocked eyes lock on to his determined ones. “Come for me.”

My body obeys his command, and I shatter.

Declan’s other hand tangles in my hair, and his lips are mashed to mine, his tongue thrusting inside and exploring my mouth. Another gush of liquid coats his hand, and the jackass smiles against my lips.

“You like it when I kiss you roughly.” He’s so smug about it, I lift my head and bite his lip hard, eliciting a growl from him.

“You’ll pay for that.” I don’t get the chance to ask him what he means before his body is straddling mine, and his hands are all over me, relentlessly tickling me. I’m screaming, twisting and thrusting, anything I can to try to throw him off, but it’s no use. The big ass is too strong. So, I try the only thing in my arsenal that I have left.

I scream, “Stop or I’m going to pee!” His hands stop immediately, but he doesn’t move off me or let me go. His hands go still where they are, and his scruffy face nuzzles my neck.

“I meant it, you know,” he rumbles. “I would be honored to have a baby with you. If you want to have another one.” He sounds so insecure as he speaks. Like he’s afraid of my reaction. “I guess I should’ve asked first.” When he lifts his head to look at me, the sheepish smile on his face is such a contrast to the confident, cocky man I’m used to seeing.

While placing my hand on his chest, I tell him my truth. “I would love to have a baby with you, Declan. I just don’t know if I can.”

His expression softens, and just as quickly turns to stone as understanding takes root. “What did he do?”

“I don’t know that he did anything,” I try to explain. “I just know I lost two after Carter, and I haven’t been able to get pregnant since. It’s what we fought about the night I left him. He had me followed to Mili’s clinic. I didn’t know he was having me followed at all. When he found out where I had been, he thought I was there because I was pregnant.”

“He knew you went to see her.” He’s not asking. Something is being worked out in his head. I can see the wheels turning as he processes.

“Yes. He was excited about the idea I was pregnant again, but somehow, he figured I was trying to set up an abortion without his consent.” I sigh. “I hate the man, but I wouldn’t have aborted a child. I can’t be sure my body could even carry a child again after everything I’ve been through. It would’ve been harder to leave him in that state, but I would’ve done it.”

“What did the doctor say was the cause of the miscarriages?” Declan asks cautiously.

“Stress.” I can’t look him in the eyes. “While James was physically abusive, it was the constant worry about when the next time would be that he would lose his temper. What might set him off this time? Did I do everything perfectly the way he asked of me? Then sometimes he would just be angry about someone or something else. I had to be on guard for both me and my son. My body couldn’t handle it all. Add in the changes a body goes through during pregnancy and, though it’s a good thing, it can still be very taxing and stressful. It was too much.” A soft sob leaves my chest, and I find myself flipped over and sprawled out over Declan’s hard chest.

“Shh. It wasn’t your fault, baby. You were in a shit situation. It was not on you. You hear me?” I nod against his chest, but it doesn’t ease the guilt or the grief over the loss. “If you want to try to have another baby, we will. And you’ll have everything you need. The best doctors. But most of all, you won’t have the stress you knew before. I won’t allow it.” He says the words with such conviction. “From now on, you’re going to feel safe, loved, and cherished, as you should be. And you’ll leave all the stressing over the day-to-day bullshit to me.” He moves to sit up, cradling my ass and forcing me to straddle his legs.

With his two fingers gently gripping my chin, his eyes are so intense and locked on mine. “You will never have to worry about whether you’ve done everything right or if I’m going to come home mad and hurt you. I may get upset over club bullshit or work. Hell, I might just be in a mood some days, but I will never raise a hand to you in anger. Ever. Even if we argue, because every couple does at some point, you will never have to worry about the consequences. You will always be safe in my home, in my arms, and in this life from here on out. Tell me you understand.”

Tears are streaming down my face, but for once they’re happy tears. The way this man looks at me, the sincerity in his words, and the love staring back at me from those beautiful dark brown eyes, I have no doubt this is my home. He is my new home.

“I understand, Declan. Thank you.” I lean against his chest, settling in my place as we hold each other, enjoying the moment.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

“Wake up, fucker! We’ve got to get on the road.” Hawk’s chipper voice sounds through the door.

“I’m gonna shoot him,” Declan mutters. “What’s the rush?” he shouts back. I’m already climbing off his lap, ready to get dressed for the day.

“Skyler needs Violet at the gym. The kid’s got to get to school and you and me got shit to do for Pres.”

Declan scrubs his hand down his face, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Is Carter here?”

“Liz is feeding him in the common room.”

Declan nods, though Hawk can’t see him. “Give us ten minutes and we’ll be out.”

“Ten minutes?” Hawk chuckles. “All right, but be quick about it. And don’t forget to get her off first. Don’t be a dick,” Hawk calls back, his voice retreating as I imagine he’s walking further away. Probably better for him if he does by the look on Declan’s face.

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