Page 138 of The Road to Ruined

She smiles, leaning in and kissing me. She runs her tongue over my top lip before pulling away. "You had a little something right there. Are you nervous?"

"Yeah, kind of. I'm kind of worried it'll sound like they hated me—that'll hurt my feelings."

"I'm sure that won't happen," River says.

"And if it does, then fuck them," Hazel says, brushing her now-blue hair away from her face. "They missed out on you. It's their loss."

"Thanks…what's that?" I ask, my eyes settling on an old hardcover book on the counter behind her.

"Oh…here." Hazel turns, grabs the book, and sets it in front of me. "I'm pretty sure you already have this one, but Declan said it was for you and to bring it home. It was sitting on the table at the safe house in Moscow when we got there."

I run my fingers over the front of the tattered cover ofThe Picture of Dorian Gray.

You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.

Maybe it is for me.

I open the book to the first chapter. Circled letters spell out the wordsI love you, Teagan. Tears well in my eyes. The rest of the book is annotated with his favorite quotes. That's what he said I was—his favorite song or favorite quote from a book.

"You okay, sweetheart?" Declan asks.

I close the book, set it down on the counter in front of me, and nod. "Yeah, I'm okay."

He wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly against him. I blink once, letting the tears fall quietly and discreetly, soaking into the fabric of his shirt.

"We all love you, kitten," he says.

"I know."

"Missed you, Riv," Declan says, kissing her forehead before he walks into the kitchen. "What have you guys been up to?"

"The usual," she says. "There's been a lot of tourists around lately, though. A few have wandered onto our beach, so we've been hanging out by the pool."

"And practicing guitar," I tell him. "I'm getting pretty good."

"One of you needs to learn drums," he says.

"And Teagan is teaching me how to swim," River says.

"No," Luca says, finally emerging from the bedroom. Most of the time, he still uses a cane, and he can't run anymore. But he isn't in pain, and he can stay on his feet. He swims laps in the pool, and there's a gym for him downstairs. His workouts have changed a lot, but he's able to do enough to help keep him sane. And he is—for the most part—sane. "I've seen these so-called swimming lessons. It's just two brats playing with each other's pussies in the shallow end of the pool. River's not learning shit."

"I resent that," River says. "I can backstroke now."

"I'm sure you can," Luca says. "You can show me that later, Riv."

"Breakfast is ready," Hazel says. "What time is it?"

"It starts in ten minutes," Declan tells her. "You guys go ahead and get your food. I'll make sure the TV is ready."

"I'll make you a plate, too," Hazel tells him. She places her hands on either side of his face and kisses his lips.

"Thanks," he says before leaving the kitchen.

After we all make our plates and Bloody Marys, we head out to the living room. The main living space in our home is beautiful—completely open with light bamboo flooring. The back of the room is made up of folding window doors leading out to a large patio, a fenced-in backyard, a hot tub, and a pool with a waterslide.

Those doors are wide open now. A light breeze moves through the house, rustling through the palms outside, and it smells like saltwater.

"I need to sit by you for this," I tell Declan once he gets the TV ready.

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