Page 6 of The Road to Ruined

I grit my teeth and meet her eyes again, willing my own not to pool with tears and my voice not to crack. "I know what'sreal and what isn't," I tell her. "I know Declan and Luca are dangerous, that they're killers, and that they were using me and never loved me. I was manipulated…and I fell for it because I was lonely. I know they aren't coming back for me."

"Good," she says. "That's good. Well, if you don't have any other questions for me, I think we can cut this session short. I'll let them know you have permission to spend the rest of the day out in the courtyard if you'd like. How does that sound?"

"Um, I think I'd rather just go back to my room," I reply. "Tomorrow is going to be a big change for me, and I could use the quiet. I have a lot to think about."

"I understand. I'll let them know anyway…in case you change your mind. Oh, one more thing, Teagan…"

"What's that?"

"A couple of staff members reported they've heard you carrying on conversations with your hallucinations again. I'm going to make some small changes to your meds. If you have any issues with them, you can give us a call, okay?"

That fucker.

"Okay, great."

She pushes a button under her desk, unlocking the door to the room. As I stand, she adds, "I'm so proud of you, Teagan. You've come so far."

You're an angel—you saved him. You did so good. I'm so proud of you.

I force a smile before turning to the door.

The same asshole nurse who brought me upstairs brings me back to my room and, after she opens the door, says, "My niece left for that commune, you know—for your church. She left her entire life behind, and no one has heard from her since. I won't miss you—I can't stand to look at you. I hope you all get exactly what you deserve."

"I…don't know what any of that means."

She scoffs. "Sure, you don't."

Once the door closes behind me, I turn off the lights, curl up in my bed, and sob.

"What got my kitten so upset this time, hmm? What'd they do to you now, sweetheart?"

I'm still sane enough to realize the arm draped over my waist and the body lying next to mine isn't really there. There's no way he could really be here in this locked room in Jurassic Park.

"Nothing," I say. "They didn't do anything to me. It wasyou."

"Me? What did I do?"

"You told me we were the same," I cry. "You said you loved me and I'd never be alone. Youliedto me, and now I willalwaysbe alone. And every time I close my eyes, I see yours. Every morning, I wake up thinking I feel Luca's fingers in my hair. Every time I look in the mirror, I see the evidence of your betrayal carved into my body, into mysoul.Ihateyou."

"You don't mean that, Teagan."

"I do mean it. I can't talk to you anymore; you can't come home with me tomorrow. I'm done with you."

"Hmm, well…if this is it, then at least let me hold you until you go. You shouldn't have to be alone when you feel like this."

"I feel like this all the time," I whisper to the man who isn't really there. "But I'll do my best to pretend I don't."

"Right here, kitten," Declan says, pointing to his collarbone, just above the 'T' carved into his chest. In my delusions, it's still scabbed-over, raw, and angry, just like me. But in reality, if it's even still there, it's been scarred for a while now.

I roll onto my side and curl into him. "Someone tricked me today," I tell him, even though I know that's not exactly true. "They told me a blonde girl was here to see me. I thought it was River. I was happy…for about ten seconds. It hurt so much."

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. That's a mean trick."

"Everyone in the world knows exactly where I am, and none of you have come for me," I say, squeezing my eyes shut. "That's the meanest trick of all."

TWO

"Welcome home," my mom says as we walk through the front door.

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