Page 78 of The Road to Ruined

I run my fingertips over the scars—and theyarescars, not angry, scabbed-over wounds the way they were the last time I saw them. Not raw and festering the way they always are in my visions.

The way I still am now.

"Declan?" I whisper.

He places a hand on my cheek, gently wiping a tear from under my eye with his thumb. "Yeah, sweetheart. It's me."

"Get off of me!" I shout, pushing him off of me with both hands.

"Teagan, it's okay. It's—"

"No!" I scream, pulling myself to my feet. "No, it's not okay! Declan…you left me. How could you fucking leave me? Do you know what it did to me? And you've just been…what? Watching, just like him? Were you laughing? Did you enjoy the fucking show? Did you enjoy watching me ruin myself?"

"No, Teagan. That's not what I've been doing. If you'll just calm down and let me talk to you…" he says, moving toward me. I back away until I'm flush against the wall.

"Unless you're going to admit that you're a fucking liar and that you made a fool out of me and had fun doing it, then I don't want to hear anything you have to say! You know what? I am glad I got to see you one last time, though, so that I could tell you to your face that Ifucking hate you.We all do."

I reach for the door handle and pull it open a few inches before he slams it shut.

"Teagan, please, stop. Please?" He pins me against the door with his hands around my biceps. "Do you have any idea how much I've missed you? That there hasn't been a single minute of a single day when I wasn't thinking about you? Iloveyou, Teagan. I love you so much."

I shake my head. "You're lying."

He reaches for me and, with a finger on my chin, turns my head to the side, inspecting the bruises on my face and neck.

"What happened to you?" he asks. "Did someone hurt you, sweetheart?"

"Youleftme," I tell him. "You left me face down in the fucking dirt, and I was alone! That's what happened. You have no fucking idea what I've been through because of you!"

"I told you not to look," he says softly. "I didn't want you to see that."

"That doesn't change anything."

"Will you please just shut the fuck up for five minutes and let me explain?"

"You wouldn't talk to me…on the phone. That was you, wasn't it?"

"Teagan, I couldn't," he says. "But I heard it in your voice—how much pain you were in. I had to see you."

"Because you get off on that, right? Women in pain? It's the next best thing to ripping them apart and watching them bleed."

"God damn it, Teagan!" he shouts, pushing off the door and pacing in front of me. "I should—"

"What?" I laugh. "You think I'm scared of you…now?After everything I've been through? I was ready to throw myself off the building— what are you going to do to me?" I move my hair away from my chest and point to the space just above the 'D' carved into my skin. "Here's a little tip I learned from Bone Saw: aim a little higher this time. That should do the trick."

"Teagan, I wanted you to stay on the ground with your eyes closed because I wanted you alive. What do you think would have happened if you got up and ran to that plane? They would have shot you, too, and then I would have had to decide which one of you to save and which one to let die, and neither of you would have forgiven me."

"I don't forgive you now. Declan, you broke my heart." I pause, blinking back tears. "You broke me. You broke our family…"

"I told you I'd never leave you. You were supposed to have faith."

"Havefaith?What does that even mean? You're not a fucking god, Declan. You're just an asshole."

"Teagan…"

"You hurt me." My lower lip quivers as tears run down my face. "So bad. I can't forgive you this time. You'll…you'll do it again."

"What about Luca, hmm? Do you hate him like you hate me?" Declan asks.

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