Page 80 of The Road to Ruined

But he stumbles a little when he sits back down on the bed, using his arm to brace himself first before turning over and moving so that his back is against the headboard and his legs are out straight in front of him.

"I have some nerve damage," he says. "I had to stay in bed for a fucking month. It sucked ass."

"I bet you were pissed," I laugh.

"I was pissed. I was mad at him, too, Teag…for leaving you like that. And then they put you girls in jail. I bet you were so scared."

"Are you real?" I ask. "Like are you sure you're really real? Because…sometimes I see you like this, and we talk just like this, but you aren't really there. I think I'm going crazy, and I've done things, Luca. Really fucking bad things, and I don't think you'd like it."

"Come over here, Teagan," he says, patting the spot beside him. "What are you doing?"

"I don't want to hurt you."

He shakes his head. "It doesn't hurt, baby. It's more like…pins and needles sometimes. I barely notice it unless I've been on myfeet for a while. And my dick works just fine, too, so don't worry about that. Get over here."

I slip off my boots before climbing further onto the bed and into his arms, and he leans in, kissing me softly on the lips. "See? That's much better, isn't it?"

"Luca…"

"I'm real, Teagan. We're alive and we're together, and I don't care about anything you did. I love you. I mean it. I would have told you every day if I could, and then maybe you wouldn't feel like this. Maybe your eyes wouldn't look like this."

But his are the same—beautiful, emerald green. Maybe a little sad, but still full of life like he wants me to be.

"This feels real, doesn't it?" he asks, cupping my face in his hands. "You know this—we—are different, baby."

I nod before leaning in, burying my head in his neck, smelling his skin. When he wasn't real, I couldn't smell him. And maybe I could feel him—the warmth of a body next to mine, fingers in my hair—but it didn't feel like this.

"I'm scared," I whisper.

"What are you scared of? Huh?" He pulls me into his lap so that I'm facing him, my legs wrapped around his waist. I lose my breath when I feel him hard against me. "You feel so good in my arms, honey. There's nothing to be afraid of."

"What if I lose you again? I don't think I can survive it twice."

"I would never, ever leave you, Teagan. I've never lied to you before, have I? I'd make it so that you never hurt again if I could. I'd take it all away."

I shake my head. "No,youhaven't."

But Declan has…more than once. And he's done things to me that he wanted to hurt.

"Don't be scared," Luca says, unlacing my top and letting it fall to the sides, leaving my chest bare and exposed in front of him.He leans in, trailing kisses down my neck, taking my breast in his hand, and then sucking the nipple into his mouth.

"Luca…" I moan, pushing my hands through his hair and rocking my hips against him while he teases the hard point with his tongue.

"I told you, baby—I'll love you until my heart stops. And it turns out I'm not that easy to kill."

I reach for the bottom of his shirt and pull it over his head. My eyes settle on the 'T' etched into his tattooed chest and then the scar from the bullet hole in his shoulder. I run my fingers over it before my eyes drop to his abdomen, where there are two more exit wounds and what's likely a surgical scar.

"Not very attractive—I know," he says. "My tattoos are fucked. I can put my shirt back on if it bothers you."

I place my hands on either side of his face. "It doesn't bother me…not like you think anyway. I just hate to think of you in pain. I wish I could have been there with you."

"It's okay, baby," he says. "You kept me going whether you knew it or not. You're the only person in the world who loves me, too, Teagan. You've put me back together more than once; I'll put you back together, too."

I smile a little, shaking my head while I blink back more tears.

"What?" Luca asks. "What'd I do now?"

"Nothing," I tell him. "It's just that…the fake version of you told me almost the exact same thing once."

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