Page 91 of The Road to Ruined

"I learned a little late but…I'm a little more complicated than that." I force a smile, placing my hands on his cheeks before standing on my toes and kissing his lips. I can't quite explain it, but I don't like lying to him. He's Sebastian right now—the closest thing I've had to a friend since all of this happened, but he's also Bone Saw. "I should go take care of my makeup before I'm late."

"You'll forget about it, Teagan," he says, throwing himself down on the sofa. "With the right training, it won't take long."

"What do you mean with the right training?" I ask. "Who's going to train me?"

"You don't need to worry about that right now, little monster. Just put on your pretty makeup, go play normal girl. You only have a few days left anyway."

I hate lying to him; I know I probably shouldn't since all he's ever done is lie to me, but I do. It doesn't feel right. And although I know what he is, and I'm just the pet that keeps coming when he calls anyway—even if I am his favorite one—part of me still just wants to stay here in this room and pretend it's something else.

"Sebastian?"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing, I just…wish things were different. That's all. What if we—"

"Wishing is for children. Grow up."

And there he is.

"All right. Good talk."

SIXTEEN

"Teagan, you've been quiet tonight," Blakely says. "Are you still feeling sick? Are you not having a good time?"

I look up from my drink, realizing I've just been staring into the glass, fiddling with the stir straw between my fingers for quite some time now. I have a lot on my mind. I know Sebastian is here somewhere, watching me, but are Luca and Declan still here somewhere, too?

And there's still a part of me—this lingering self-doubt—asking me if I'm absolutely certain I didn't make the entire thing up.

And I guess I can't be.

"Sorry," I tell her. "I'm feeling okay, just a little tired. I'm having a good time, though—the show was good."

"Is our version of fun a little bit tame for you, Teagan?" Ashlyn taunts.

I raise an eyebrow, looking over the woman beside me. Old habits die hard, and I have no patience for her uppity mean girl bullshit.

"Do you really want me to answer that, Ashlyn?" I take the cherry from her drink and pop it into my mouth.

"Ashlyn, why are you picking on her?" Blakely asks. "She's not bothering anyone; she's leaving the past in the past."

"I know why she's picking on me," I say. "She's afraid of women like me. I see through it, and so does everyone else, Ashlyn. Your internalized misogyny is showing."

"Are you going to let her talk to me like that?"

"No oneletsme do anything. That's kind of the point, isn't it? And for the record, I am having a good time, but I do think blood orgies are more fun."

"Teagan, Jesus," Blakely says.

"You're disgusting," Ashlyn scoffs.

"Hey, don't knock it until you try it," Lauren says.

"And there it is," I say. I raise my glass, and Lauren toasts with me from across the table.

"You're joking," Ashlyn says. "Tell me you're joking."

She shakes her head. "Well, maybe not the blood orgy part, but I can confirm that two is better than one."

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