Page 44 of June

Enid nodded, but she didn’t know how to put her feelings into words, so she didn’t say anything.

“Then, we’ll go out again.”

“Okay,” Enid said.

“But I don’t think I want to do what we were about to do just now. Not tonight, anyway,” Jill added.

“Yeah, I get it,” Enid replied, but she hadn’t planned on doing that tonight either way. “I kind of ruined the mood.”

Kissing Jill was good. It wasn’t fireworks or stomach butterflies, but it was good. Enid wanted to explore that to see if it would get even better the more they did it, but she wasn’t ready for sex with her.

“Want to finish the movie?” Jill asked.

“Let’s do it,” she said.

But Jill didn’t snuggle into her again, nor did she take Enid’s hand, so when the movie was over, Enid rose, and Jill walked her to the door, where she kissed Enid on the cheek. As she drove home, Enid wondered if she’d done this wrong. Should she have told Jill about Caroline right when she had picked her up? Over their shared meal as they had walked? Maybe when they had been in the Square, or as they watched the movie?

Jill was right: they weren’t exclusive, not even close, so Enid was free to date whomever she wanted, and so was Jill. They should just be honest about it. Still, there was something weird between them now that Enid didn’t know what to do with, and she was left wondering about the lack of fireworks when they’d kissed, too. That had her thinking about Caroline and ifthey’dhave fireworks when they kissed.

???

“Hey, honey,” her dad said when she sat down on the sofa next to him.

“Hi, Dad.”

“You’re home early.”

“Yeah.”

“Date didn’t go well?” he asked.

“Not exactly, no,” she replied.

“Want to talk about it?”

Enid loved her father. He was just the best guy in the world. He’d accepted her wholeheartedly when she’d come out, had always asked about her girlfriends, and made it clear that he didn’t care when, one day, he would walk her down the aisle, that there would be a woman there with her.

“I should like her, Dad.”

“Should?”

“She’s beautiful and funny, and she’s smart and–”

“Those are all things that she is, yes, but there’s got to be a spark. Is there a spark?” he asked.

Enid shook her head.

“Well, sometimes, sparks come later. That can happen. Do you think that could happen here?”

“I don’t know. That’s the problem. I don’t know if I just met a new friend who’s going to be a good friend forever or if I’m supposed to give us time and a few more dates to figure out that this can be more than that.”

“How does she feel?”

“I think she feels like it’s more already,” Enid admitted. “Which makes me feel like crap.”

“Honey, if you don’t see yourself with this woman, you should tell her. Let her down easy. Don’t drag it out.”

“I know. I thought that maybe it was like you said, that I needed the time to find the spark,” she replied.

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