Page 17 of Puppy on a Leash

“So, you’re bi for fucking, but gay for falling in love and shit.”

I said I wasn’t a total asshole. I didn’t say I was good at supportive, sentimental talks. I still hadn’t figured out why Marga and Jen had flocked to me every time they’d wanted to talk shit about their Daddy.

“Something like that.” Tony snorted. “I guess… I said María’s hot, right? And I can get off to how good those boobs would feel around my dick, but the idea of being all domestic with her? Does nothing to me.”

“Right.”

Did I truly get it? No, but that wasn’t on the specific labels or Tony himself. I’d just never really understood anyone who wasn’t, like, attracted to everyone, in all the ways. Bemoaning about why everyone wasn’t just bi and a horn dog like me was not what any of us needed right now, though, and I had restraint.

“Eat up,” he muttered.

One step at a time, I supposed. He didn’t need to tell me twice, anyway. I was starving.

I might’ve been in a rush this morning and barely had breakfast.

The university had a cafeteria, but the workers were on strike, and the vending machines were so fucking overpriced, I’d rather starve than get anything out of principle alone. It only bothered me because they had the cookies I obsessed over,taunting me. Why weren’t they available in all supermarkets? I always forgot to look into it.

The point was, I didn’t need any further encouragement to pile up my plate full of vegetable biryani. It was my favorite dish to order as takeout because the Indian restaurants around here always used the largest containers and filled them to the brim.

It was when I was stuffing my mouth that I noticed Tony had been watching me with a funny expression.

I swallowed the yellow rice and licked my lips before I shifted my focus back to him. “What’s with the face?”

“You really are always on the defensive, huh?” Tony shook his head before I could retort. He wasn’twrong, to be fair, but I’d say I was justified. In my experience, the world was an attack or be attacked kind of ecosystem. “I’d expected you to go for something different, that’s all.”

Huh?

What was wrong with biryani?

I grabbed the plate and brought it to my lap, curling up around it. I would one hundred percent go to fists with someone over food.

“Indian is my favorite cuisine,” I said slowly. I really did not know what he was on about. “It’s comfort food.”

“Good to know.” Tony pursed his lips as he fished for one of the containers with his order. “Marga and Jen always got the chicken dishes. I guess I expect everyone who isn’t vegan to get those.”

Oohhh.

I wrinkled my nose. “María doesn’t like it when we eat meat in front of her. She’s okay with vegetarian dishes, but… Yeah. I’ve internalized not eating meat when I’m with her. And now you.”

Not to mention, using his money to buy something he was against felt very icky from an ethical standpoint. It was probablya good thing that, despite Marga’s and Jen’s flocking to me, I’d never grown particularly attached to them. There was always a thin layer ofI don’t know why you’re so comfortable hanging out with me, but your giggles don’t feel like they come from a genuine place at times. I tended to cling to those impressions.

“That’s noble of you.”

I chuckled. “You sound surprised.”

“Not sure that’s the right word.” Tony hummed. I waited to see if he was going to say something else, but he began eating. I supposed he was working through whatever it was that he wanted to say, and I wasn’t one to sit with my stomach twisting in knots while I waited for a verdict. Eating while he made sense of whatever was plaguing him was not a hardship at all. “I think Erika’s finally getting to me with all her talks about letting people in. Maybe I pushed away the wrong people all this time.”

“You think?” I snorted.

Just saying, I could’ve told him that a million years ago. Hell, even before he was outed. I understood the wholeI’m the straightest of straight men and I don’t hang out with the queers over there, but the thing was, he had hung out with us. He’d just stood in the margins. The other people he’d associated with—other than Marga and Jen, who were fine most of the time—were the kind of people who made others not fully trust kink clubs. I never saw him engage with their shitty takes, but he couldn’t have felt too comfortable around them. Could he?

Tony was watching me. I thought he’d be scowling, growling, or whatever it was he did, but he just watched. The way he used to back before everything imploded around him.

“I couldn’t be a part of your group. You know it.”

I licked my lips. Did I? “Because of Sergio?”

“That was a huge part.” Tony coughed before he reached for a glass of water. “Still is.”

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