Page 37 of Slay the Gay Away, Daddy

She chuckles. “I hate you just as much. And yeah, it kind of was.” To my surprise, she places her hand on top of mine and smiles. A real one. She’s never really given me one of those before, so it takes me aback.

There are footsteps thudding across the platform, and Mal and I turn our attention back to him. Miles is walking to the end of the stage, and once he gets there, he plops down at the edge, letting his legs dangle over the side. His eyes are closed, and he lifts his hands in praise. He does this sometimes. Sits silently, mumbling an unspoken prayer. Every time he does it, I spot my name formed on his lips. I don’t know what he prays about on my behalf but knowing I’m on his mind in the middle of his sermon always makes my heart flutter.

When his prayer is done, the pianist tinkers behind him, playing “Jesus Loves Me” for reasons I don’t understand.

“Daddy loves me, this I know,” I sing in a whisper, alongside the church piano. “Because Daddy told me so.”

As soon as the words are out, I cringe, because I momentarily forgot my place. I’m sitting right next to his damn wife, for God’s sake, and I’m nearly silently serenading her husband. Un-fucking-hinged.

She cocks an eyebrow at me.

“Shut up.”

“Daddy loves—”

“Shut—up—Mallory Brooks,” I growl, my cheeks burning.

She snorts a laugh, earning a stern glare from Father Daddy. I smile proudly at him, pretending I’ve been behaving this whole time. He tosses a wink my way which makes me blush. Turning my head, I stick my tongue out at her, and in retaliation, she pinches my thigh.

“I’ll get you back for that,” she warns, but I shrug, because I can take whatever she’s got.

Miles has his eyes closed again, and as he rocks back and forth, he looks a little lost. There’s something on the tip of his tongue, but his tongue isn’t moving. I know him by heart, so I know when something gets stuck inside his head, and I know how to get him unstuck. I want him to open his eyes so he can see me, because I can be his lighthouse anytime he needs. I’m happy to do it. To guide him back from whatever treacherous seas he’s sailing on.

When his eyes open, they catch mine, and a gentle smile touches his lips. “I wanted to do a sermon about worldly desires, but the Spirit is here.” He lifts his hand and touches his heart. “And it’s singing louder than I’ve ever heard. Do you ever get that feeling? A warm tingling inside in your soul. Like a summer shower dripping on your skin. I believe that’s what God is. Warmth. A warmth that spreads and settles, leaving no part untouched. Leaving no section unclean. Jesus calls us to loveour God with all our heart. He calls us to love our neighbors as ourselves. That’s hard sometimes.”

“Amen,” someone shouts from the back, and there’s a soft chuckle that spreads through the room.

“Amen,” Miles agrees, eyeing my dad. “Especially when all your neighbors do is cuss and fuss at the top of their lungs, day in, day out.” As Dad huffs in his pew at the back of the church, I focus on Miles. The hint of stubble forming along his jawline. It makes me want to rub my face against his cheek until I get rug burn. “Loving thy neighbor is perhaps one of the most challenging commandments we’ve been given. It’s hard to love people who hurt us. Harder still to forgive those who haven’t sought forgiveness. Sometimes, it’s hard as heck to forgive someone for being so all-around horrible.”

“Amen,” Mal says with a laugh, looking right at me.

“Die,” I whisper, but she just pinches my leg again.

Miles points at Austin, holding the decoy phone high with his hand. “Would you forgive me if I smashed your phone, son?” The whole congregation turns to look at Austin.

“That’s not my phone,” he says.

“Would you forgive me?” Miles repeats. “Even if I don’t ask for your forgiveness.”

“You wouldn’t need my forgiveness, because—again—that isn’t my phone.” He pauses, cocking his head to the side like he’s trying to put a puzzle together in his mind. The longer he sits there not answering Miles, the angrier I get.

Don’t ask me why I do it, because I don’t have an answer other than Daddy asked a question, and Aussie’s being mean to him. “Answer him!”

Austin just blinks at me. He stares at Miles for a second, and then his eyes widen like he’s pieced his puzzle together. After a beat, he opens his mouth, but there’s a loud crash ahead of us, and I turn back toward Miles, finding him holding a hammerabove the newly cracked repurposed phone. So, that’s what the hammer was for, I guess. There are groans from the crowd, but I’m smiling widely, because he looks fucking feral right now; teeth bared, that vein in his forehead twitching like a son of a bitch, his cheeks burning scarlet.

“The lord asks us to forgive,” he continues. “I forgive you for interrupting my church sermon by bringing up your OnlyFans profile, son. Do you forgive me for smashing your phone?”

“I never said it was OnlyFans.” He cocks his head to the side, deep in thought. Whatever he’s thinking of, it must make sense, because he stands and points at Miles. “Oh, my God! It’s you! From OnlyFans and from Grindr. My lurking stalker. You’re DaddyLongDick6969, aren’t you?”

He fucking better not be!

Miles’ jaw hits the floor. “I don’t know what the heck that means, but this is a church, and I won’t let you desecrate it with language like that.”

“Well, someone’s been stalking my profile for months. If it wasn’t you, who is it?”

Dallas’ cheeks darken and he quickly looks down at his lap. Luckily, Austin doesn’t catch him. He’s too busy arguing with Miles. After a few more minutes of back and forth, Dallas puts his hand on Austin’s shoulder.

“That’s enough, son.”

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