Page 46 of Slay the Gay Away, Daddy

“Good. Let it. Let it remind you, because this life you’re living ain’t a life, Pastor. It’s Hell, and even the worst of us don’t deserve it. You can be happy. Do you want to be happy?”

“I’m . . .” Mile says, his voice breaking. “I’m scared.”

Gray reaches across the truck and squeezes Miles’ hand, but the man clearly hasn’t thought the action through, because to do so, he’s had to climb onto the truck’s side bar and wedge his entire torso through the window. He doesn’t let the awkwardness stop him, just hovers in front of me like Superman, squeezing my boyfriend’s hand.

“I know. I know you are, buddy. It’s big and horrible and scary right now, but I swear to God, it gets so much better. There’s life waiting for you at the end of the rainbow, Pastor, and it’s a life worth living. I got my happy ending. I know you can get yours too. And even if you don’t find some love story to end all love stories, that’s okay. It’s better to live a perfectly average life than an endless lie.” Wheezing, he lifts an arm and places his hand on Miles’ forehead and closes his eyes. His lips move, lost in prayer, but no words come out. Miles watches it all unfold, tears forming in his eyes as his hand trembles against the wheel. Gray opens his eyes and gives Miles a wide smile. “Amen. I’ll pray for you every night, Pastor. I’ll pray for your happiness.” Retreating, he draws a deep breath once he’s no longer doing his silly Superman pose.

“Thank you,” Miles says, wiping his eyes. “Thank you for that.”

Gray nods before looking at me. “Don’t follow in our footsteps, kid. I wasted two decades I’ll never get back. We may have forever in Heaven, but we’ve only got one life. Don’t you dare waste yours.” With a final nod, he turns and walks toward his truck.

When he’s gone, Miles grabs my hand and squeezes tightly. I look over to see him staring straight ahead, out into the packedparking lot. “Tell me we can do this. Tell me it can be me and you, and it can still be okay.”

“I will make it my life’s mission to see that you’re happy. If you want this—if you decide to come out—I will make you the happiest man in the world. I swear to God, it’s all going to work out in the end.”

“How? If I come out—”

“Whatever happens,” I say, squeezing his hand. “I’m right by your side. If they take your home, I’ll buy you a new one.”

His eyebrows knit together. “Buy a house? On your salary? In this economy, Dare?”

“In President Flump’s economy,” I remind him, and he nods in agreement. Look at that. A good dicking and he’s already leaning left. A win though it may be, it’s not the matter at hand.

He shakes his head. “Be serious, baby. I won’t be able to provide for you. I’ve already been struggling to provide for Mal. We’re both going to lose our homes. We’ll be destitute.”

I swallow slowly, a little nervous about my next admission. “You don’t need to worry about money. Even if I lose my job, we’re set for a while.”

His brows knit together in the center of his forehead. “What?”

“My job pays well,” I admit. “Well, it did. I think I might be fired. Or maybe Meadows is just mad at you? I’m not sure. Either way, I’ve got a nest egg saved from my time with the agency.”

“You’ve only worked there six months.”

I clear my throat and look away. “I make good money. Damn good money. Enough for us to live off for a couple of years.”

“A couple of years?”

I peek up at him and smile. “I got hired making fifteen an hour, but then Meadows’ pet choked on a hot dog, and I saved his life. Meadows loves his pet very much, and he’s a very appreciative man.”

“If he were appreciative, he wouldn’t have outed the man you love. He had a camera in my room . . .” His eyes bulge. “Good God, Almighty. He saw everything. Everything! He saw us doing—doing . . .”

“I know. And I’m livid too. Believe me, he’ll be hearing from me once we get home. But for right now, just know that if you do this, I have you. And I guess I’ve got Mal too.” A smile I hadn’t planned quirks. “We’ll be like a little dysfunctional family. A family who actually cares about each other.” I bring his hand to my lips and kiss it. “We’ve never had that before. We finally can.”

He takes a few shaky breaths, looking like he’s weighing the options in his head. Eventually, after leaving me in near-endless suspense, he nods. “Yeah. Okay, Dare.”

chapter seventeen

When I wake, Dare’s lying on his side facing me. He’s got his mouth wide open, and there’s a long string of drool dripping down his face, dangling from his chin. God help me, I must bejust as deranged as him, because that drool is a part of him, and I want every part of Darren Matthews. Collecting it with my finger, I bring it to my lips and lick it clean.

Jesus.

I shell my tongue around my finger, wanting to make sure I got every stray droplet. Closing my eyes, I let out a purr like a kitten. Darren clears his throat, and my cheeks feel like they’re scalding. When I open my eyes, he’s staring hungrily at me.

“Good morning,” I say, hoping he didn’t see what I was just doing. His arched eyebrow tells me I’ve had no such luck.

“Did you just drink my drool?”

I swallow nervously before looking away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

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