Page 26 of Atlas

“Hmm.” She lifts a shoulder in a shrug while trying to control her wry grin. “Guess you’ll just have to go commando. If your jeans rub you wrong, I can always kiss it better for you later.”

My cock visibly kicks at that idea, but thankfully, Willa is already sauntering off. No one should make a t-shirt look that sexy.

I drop my head back to the pillow and cover my face with my hands.

Fuck.

In a single morning, my control has been utterly shattered. The worst part is, I can’t even say that I regret this,and if asked, I will certainly do it again. My heart pounds heavily, my chest closing in. It’s hard to put yourself in someone’s hands after being smashed apart. I know I’m offering glued together pieces, but Willa knows that. I was the one holding her last night, but I have no doubt that the second I fell asleep, she probably stayed up and kept watch over me like danger was barreling down on us. I’m the man, the traditional protector, but last night, Willa offered me comfort. She offered me closeness, intimacy, compassion and understanding.

I don’t know if I was ready to give it all up and have so much to lose, but here I am.

I push up from the bed and walk to the bathroom. It was the only actual room in the whole top floor. We renovated it, since it was sporting some horrendous panel board, and of course Willa chose seafoam green salvaged tile and a mint green sink to match. She even found a green toilet, though not in the exact right shade.

I crank the spray on and step into the glass enclosure.

When the emotion hits, it’s like a landslide, crashing down on me and crushing me. The inevitable comedown and fallout. My eyes burn and my temples throb. For all intents and purposes, I fucked a very good friend. The best female friend I’ve ever had. A sister of one of my club brother’s old lady. I have trespassed in every single way, when I had no idea I even wanted to do it or that I was ready, and damn me to hell and fucking back again, I’m not sorry. What I’m sorry about is that I did this without her knowing the real me. I’ve trusted her with many things, but not with what’s going on in my head. I feel like throwing up as the weight of it all settles on my shoulders.

Willa raps her knuckles against the closed wood door. Another incredible salvage item she found, complete with the original glass doorknob.

Everything I touch in here has her touch all over it. Her passion. Her joy.

I want to get out of this shower and lose myself in her again. Fuck her on the floor while the breakfast burns to a crisp.

“Are you freaking out in there, or are you having a nice shower?”

Jesus, how does sheknow? I actually crane my head up to check for cameras, but that’s insane. There are none in the bathroom or anywhere in her living space. She was adamant about that with Wizard, when he installed the security around the building.

“I…” I really hope that Wizard was preoccupied and didn’t hear or see anything on the cameras last night until we got up here where it was private. Even if he did, what’s he going to do?

This is only taboo in my own head.

Or until Bullet comes to hang me up by my balls, but if that’s what he feels he needs to do, I’ll hear his threats out.

“It’s okay, Atlas. Everything’ll work out, I promise.”

I lean towards her soft, musical voice. I want to believe her. I really fucking do. The alternative to freaking out would be to put my faith in her and in myself, facing my fears, and building a life together.

This is just a lot in a really short amount of time. I just need a minute, as she said last night.

“Atlas?”

“I’m okay. I haven’t died or anything in here.”

“That’s fucking encouraging.” She could press, but she just proves how much she knows me by leaving it alone for now.

I can be stubborn sometimes and the only way to figure this out is for me to dig down deep and do that for myself. It’s going to take time.

“I just have one more really important question for you.”

I brace myself. “What is it?”

“Do you want your eggs fried or scrambled? I know you like to change it up.”

I put a hand on the glass and rest my forehead on it, but a tiny smile twitches over my lips, shocking the hell out of me. “Surprise me.”

As if she hasn’t already.

Chapter 8

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