Page 74 of I Hate You More

My eyes darted up to meet Chase’s. He’d noticed my hesitation, and I was guessing he could see the turmoil in my eyes. All I needed to do was keep walking, to follow Chase down the stairs and into the living room. My limbs had frozen up though and were refusing to make the move. My mind was urging them on, but it appeared they were firmly within the command of my heart right now.

“Ally, what’s wrong?” Chase asked.

My pulse started rapidly firing, and tiny droplets of sweat formed on the back of my neck. It was time to make a choice. Time to do what Tessa suggested and trust my gut. Only my gut wasn’t providing me with the definitive answer I needed.

Things might have changed between Chase and me, but I kept thinking back to that dance. I could forgive our bickering over the years, but I couldn’t seem to get past the fact he’d gone so far out of his way to make me so miserable. It was the reason I couldn’t bring myself to abort Operation Pest Control, but Chase had said that I was wrong about what had happened three years ago, and I began to wonder if my hatred of him was based on a lie.

“Chase, why did you tell me I always jump to the wrong conclusions?” I asked, my voice barely louder than a whisper. “Why did you tell me that I’d jumped to the wrong conclusion at the dance all those years ago?”

Chase reached out and ran his hands down the outside of my arms. My skin tingled at his touch, and I couldn’t seem to look away from his eyes. They were normally the lightest shade of blue, but right now, they were shining like they were edged with steel. “Why are you asking me this now?”

“Does it matter why?”

He shook his head but didn’t respond straight away. His expression was vulnerable, and his eyes seemed to implore me to be gentle. My stomach dipped because, whatever he was about to say, I knew it wasn’t going to be the response I expected.

“Ally, the reason I said those things to Declan all those years ago wasn’t because I hated you.” He said the words slowly, and there was a flicker of nerves in his voice that hadn’t been there before. My pulse was racing in anticipation as he went to continue. “In fact, it was the exact opposite. He didn’t deserve you, and I liked you so much that I couldn’t stand to see you with him.”

My heart fluttered with surprise, but at the same time, my stomach dropped. Chase might have liked me, but that didn’t excuse his actions. “So, if you couldn’t have me, no one could?”

Chase immediately shook his head. “No, it wasn’t like that,” he said. “I could have stood by and watched you date someone else if it was going to make you happy, but I could only handle that if the guy deserved you. You were this perfect, beautiful person, and Declan wasn’t a guy worthy of you. You never saw the way he talked about girls in the locker rooms, and he was just as much of a dick then as he is now. He just bothered to hide it back then.”

“But if you liked me, why have you been mean to me ever since?”

“Because it takes two people to create a conflict, and after that day, every conversation with you was a battle whether I liked it or not. I knew you hated me, and I think I convinced myself that I hated you too.”

I frowned at his explanation. “So, have you hated me all this time?”

He gave me a sad smile. “I didn’t have a choice, Ally, because if I didn’t hate you, I would love you, and loving you would only break my heart.”

I stared into his eyes, my own heart faltering at his admission. My blood ran cold, and my skin turned to ice as I tried to stop tears from welling in my eyes. Chase was right; I had jumped to the wrong conclusion all those years ago. I’d created an enemy out of a boy whose only fault was loving me, and my heart was breaking from his words.

I knew now I had the answer I needed, and no shred of doubt remained in my mind. Chase wasn’t the evil guy I’d always believed he was. I was falling for this impossible, beautiful boy, but if I acted on my feelings, he would be kicked out of our house and gone forever. It had been the whole stupid plan all along.

As everything slowly started to sink in, I had to look away so he couldn’t see the pain welling in my eyes. I’d put myself in this position, and it was exactly what I deserved given I’d come up with this plan to begin with.

I swallowed and took a step out of Chase’s arms, instantly despising the distance I was putting between us. A small crease formed between Chase’s brow, and I knew that stepping away was the last thing he expected me to do after what he’d said.

“I’m not sure if this is a good idea,” I murmured.

His expression fell. “Why? What’s wrong?”

I took another small step back from him.

“Ally?”

I shook my head, my heart skipping a painful beat as he said my name. He took a step toward me, but I lifted my hands, warding him away.

“I thought the truth about the dance would help convince you that I’m in this for real,” he said.

But I shook my head again. I wished he’d stop speaking, because the more he talked, the more difficult it was to push him away like I knew I had to.

“It hasn’t convinced me of anything,” I lied.

Chase wasn’t buying it though. “Ally…” He implored me again.

My hands clenched, and I wanted to scream because I knew a few throwaway lines weren’t going to cut it if I wanted him to let this drop. We couldn’t be together, and I needed him to stop liking me. If I was going to rebuild the walls between us, I needed to do some serious damage.

“Will you just talk with me?”

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