Page 44 of Sweet Ruin

“Then what is it? You don’t know where you want to go?”

“Sure, that too, but…”

Matthew’s eyes weighed my expression. “Isobel, my offer to pay for your college degree still stands. It always will. And it’s meant to help you, not hinder you.”

I nodded, but Matthew seemed to sense I still wasn’t wholly on board.

“You don’t have to accept my offer,” he continued. “Your future is yours to shape. I’ll support you however I can. Whether that’s financially or with any connections that I have. And if all you want is a bit of advice or someone to talk to about it, then that’s okay too.”

I studied my father as he spoke. He was barely recognizable from the man who I’d first met in his office at his Weybridge mansion. The man who had spoken about the expectation that came with the LaFleur name. It had felt like he was trying to change me before he even knew me. But now he was being supportive and nurturing as though what I wanted was now the most important thing.

He was doing his best to help me, so I felt like I should be honest. “I just feel guilty letting you pay for college for me,” I admitted.

He let out a soft laugh. “I probably shouldn’t be surprised. You are your mother’s daughter.”

“Apparently so,” I muttered. Mom was proud to a fault, and it seemed I’d taken right after her. “It’s not just that though,” I continued. “I always wanted to go to college, but a part of me knew it would never happen. I even killed the idea completely last year. But now that it’s a possibility again, I don’t feel prepared. I’m worried I’m going to make the wrong choice. And I’d be even more worried about that if I took your money to do it.”

He nodded and gave me an understanding smile. “No choice is the wrong choice,” he replied. “You don’t need to have it all figured out right now. Everything will work out in the end. I know it did for me, and I changed schools halfway through my first year.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “So, believe me, you’ll figure it out along the way.”

The tightness in my chest seemed to loosen at his words. In my head, everything about college had been in absolutes. It felt like such a big deal. But Matthew’s words had relieved some of the pressure. He made me feel as though, even if I didn’t accept his offer to help, I wouldn’t let him down. I wouldn’t let myself down.

“Look, why don’t you keep working on your applications and do a bit of research on a few colleges. We can discuss them the next time we talk, and you have nothing to lose by applying.”

“Yeah, okay,” I said. “I think I can do that.”

“Good.” He smiled, but then his expression sobered somewhat. “While we’re speaking of your future, there was something else I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Okay…”

“It’s about my company.” His voice sounded more serious, and I got the feeling this wasn’t going to be a straightforward conversation. “I know you told me when we first met that you don’t want me to map out your life and that you’re not interested in The LaFleur Corporation. And if that’s what you want, I fully support you. But I wondered if any of that has changed since we first spoke.”

“To be honest, I haven’t thought about it.”

“Do you still feel as strongly about not being a part of the company as you once did?” he asked.

“No, not really,” I murmured. “I mean, I don’t feel as strongly against it as I was then. But I also don’t feel strongly for it either. I always pictured a future in medicine, but I don’t know exactly what that looks like.”

“I understand.” He pursed his lips as he processed what I’d said.

“Why do you ask?”

“Because I’m making some changes,” he replied. He ran a hand through his hair and blew out a breath, like just thinking about it exhausted him. “I’m considering taking a step back from the company in the next few years, and I need to determine what the future of The LaFleur Corporation looks like,” he continued. “There are some decisions I need to make in preparation for that. And the choices I make now may affect you if you ever decided you did want to follow in my footsteps.”

“Right.” It was nice Matthew was considering me in his decisions, but I’d always expected I’d have to build my own future from the ground up. I’d never imagined I’d be handed an entire company. I didn’t know if I’d ever have the skills to do what Matthew did or whether it was something I even wanted.

“I don’t even know where I want to go to college next year, let alone what I want to do with my life,” I said. “You should do what’s best for you and The LaFleur Corporation. Don’t worry about me. If your decisions now mean I might not have a future there, then I’m not going to hold that against you.”

“You will always have a future there,” he murmured. “But, thank you. I didn’t want to make any decisions without consulting you.”

I thought he’d be relieved I was making his job easier for him, but from the look in his eyes, I could see he was still feeling torn about whatever decisions he needed to make. “So, what’s brought this on?” I asked. “Why are you looking to make changes now?”

“An opportunity presented itself,” he replied. “And I’d be unwise to ignore it.”

“But are you really thinking of taking a step back so soon? I thought you’d only been running the company a few years.”