Page 34 of The Devil's Spawn

“I want to go back to the negotiation table.”

“We’re talking about your needs, not your wants.”

I met his gaze with the glare of firm resolve. “Ineedto go back to the negotiation table.”

His fingers slid into my hair, and he tugged my lips to his. “You had it right the first time, but for the duration of your pregnancy, we’ll compromise. I don’t expect things to stay the same while we navigate this.”

“Thank you.”

“But this habit you have of withholding shit? It ends now. Do you understand me?”

I nodded, blinking in quick succession to fight back the tears. “Yes, Master.”

“My job is to help you carry these burdens, but I can’t do that if you don’t tell me what’s bothering you.”

I reached for his cheeks, and as we stood there, face-to-face, holding on to each other while we waited for the doctor to tell us everything would be okay, I finally found the words I needed to relay what my heart had been telling me for a year and a half.

“I need your permission to be imperfect. What if I’m too sick to take your cock in my mouth? What if I’m not in the mood for sex? And anal,” I said with a gulp. “I don’t want you to be disappointed if I…if I say no.”

Dropping his hand to my chin, he ran his fingers along my jawline. “You’re not allowed to say no to me, which makes your job simple. Trust me. I’ll be careful with you, baby. Why can’t you see that?”

“Because you hurt me.”

“I’ve always hurt you, long before we married. Part of you even gets off on it, so this preoccupation of yours lately leaves me with one conclusion. You don’t trust me enough to submit fully. You’ve given so much of yourself, but you’re still holding on to the doubt in the back of your mind. It’s an ugly voice in your head, and it’ll do nothing but pick apart our relationship.”

“I’ll try harder, Master,” I said, lowering my eyes.

A knock sounded, shattering our moment.

“We’ll talk about this more later,” Gage said as he moved away from me. The door opened slowly, revealing a petite woman in scrubs. The doctor introduced herself as Dr. Keenan, and her warm smile put me at ease instantly.

The appointment went as expected; first we went over our concerns about another tubal pregnancy, talked about our alternative lifestyle—Gage had found Dr. Keenan for a reason, as she wasn’t quick to judge when it came to kink. Then came the degrading part. After changing into a gown, the doctor helped me fit my feet into stirrups and performed the exam. I kept my eyes on Gage the whole time, counting the seconds until she finished.

“I’d like to do an ultrasound,” she said. “I believe you’re further along than you thought.”

“By how long? A few days?”

“More like a few weeks.”

I pushed myself up on my elbows, and she held out a hand to help me into a sitting position. “But I had a period about…five weeks ago, I think.”

She asked me a few more questions and mentioned something about implantation bleeding before readying the ultrasound machine. I reclined once more, and as Dr. Keenan squirted a jelly-like substance onto my flat belly, Gage moved to my side and took my hand, squeezing my fingers.

I kept my gaze glued to the monitor, but terror fisted my throat. What would we do if that machine trampled our dreams?

“Everything’s going to be okay, baby,” he said, his voice low yet full of certainty.

I grabbed onto his words and wrapped myself in them. I had to trust that he was right. Besides, if I were further along than I thought, then didn’t that mean the truly nail-biting stage of my pregnancy had passed?

The doctor pressed the hand-held device to my belly and moved it around until she found the right spot. “There’s your baby,” she said with a smile. “My, hear that strong heartbeat.”

Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump…

“You’re about ten weeks.”

“Oh my God.” Through my tears, I stared at the image of our tiny baby in awe. Tearing my gaze away long enough to meet Gage’s eyes was so damn hard, but I wanted to see his reaction as much as I wanted to take in the black and white picture of the child growing inside me.

Gage brought the back of my hand to his lips, his blue eyes bright with wonder, and that small gesture was nearly my undoing.

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