Page 35 of Rampant

The need to get to Rafe was more powerful than my phobia. I pulled on the handle then pushed open the door. One shaky leg lifted into the breeze. Another maneuver, a scoot of my butt, and both feet touched solid ground. I armed the alarm and crept down the slope toward the dock next to the ramp.

Images of suffocating, of dense blackness, assaulted me with each step, making me cringe, and I chantedstop it, stop it, stop itto wipe the stubborn thoughts from my mind, but they stuck to my brain with the strength of crazy glue. The only way to push past the terror was to chant until I heard nothing else. If I appeared on the verge of a total meltdown, the guy wouldn’t take me to Rafe.

I stepped onto the dock, keeping my eyes trained on the man waiting for me, and purposefully ignored the gentle lapping of water on either side. It wasn’t going to jump out and drown me.

Stop it, stop it, stop it.

“You the one wanting a lift to Mason Island?”

Unable to find my voice just yet, I nodded.

He frowned. “You sure that’s wise? You know the guy who lives on that island is a sex offender, right?”

“I know what everyone thinks he is. They’re wrong.”

He gave me a perplexed look. “He know you’re coming?”

“Yes.” Not a chance in hell. I could barely believe I was about to willingly get into a boat. No one else would believe it.

“You sure?”

“Y-yes. He’s expecting me.” I clasped my hands together to hide the tremors in them. “I haven’t been in a boat in a while. I’m just nervous.”

“Nothing to it.” He held out his hand and helped me inside. As soon as the boat wobbled under my weight, I slid my fingers under my sleeve and dug my nails in so hard, I came away with skin underneath them.

He narrowed his eyes. “I’m thinking you should rethink this, lady.”

With a quick shake of my head, I plopped into one of the four seats. “I’m fine. Can we please go?” I fastened my gaze on the vinyl flooring—the only thing separating me from the murky depths of nothingness—and failed to see his expression.

Stop it, stop it, stop it…

“Do you know how to swim?”

I gave a quick nod, still refusing to look at him, and heard him sigh. He placed a life jacket in the seat next to mine before starting the motor, and we were off. I squeezed my eyes shut and clung to the armrests. Wind whipped my hair around, and my stomach lurched as the boat sped over choppy waters.

When he pulled alongside the dock on Rafe’s island, my entire body quaked, and I was certain I wouldn’t be able to find my voice. I stood on wobbly legs, thinking how that had been the longest two minutes of my life, and handed him the cash I owed him with shaking fingers.

“Th-thanks.”

He stood from the driver’s seat, grabbing my arm to steady me, and helped me find solid footing on the dock. “Call if you need me.” His tone suggested more than just a ride back. I looked into his eyes and found concern in them. God, these people really believed Rafe was a monster, and it was all my fault. I had to make this right.

“I’m okay. Rafe Mason isn’t the man you think he is.”

“If you say so, lady. I’m friends with the sheriff. Call if you need anything.”

I nodded but didn’t answer. The motor fired up, and I heard him pull away. My feet wouldn’t move at first. As I stood on the dock, memories assaulted me. The night I’d fallen in, the night Rafe put me into a boat and sent me off, thinking his actions would protect me.

But he’d never come after me. Why? I thought of his rejection in the hospital and how odd that whole visit was. Now that my head was clearing, things were starting to prick at my mind. Questions arose.

The whole time I’d been under my father’s thumb, recuperating from the kidnapping and my own attempt to end it, everything in my world had scrambled like a Rubik’s Cube. Nothing had lined up the way it should.

Coming back to this island felt like coming home.

I started on the trail and hiked up the slight incline past a massive willow. The top of his A-frame cabin came into view, and I took a moment to really see it for the first time. Painted a dark brown-red with a huge front porch, trees towered around it, as if standing sentinel. I thought back to the night we’d left through the front door, but I couldn’t recall leaving the cabin. I’d been too preoccupied with fear, too worried about Rafe and what he’d do. Too paralyzed by the thought of going near the water.

As I climbed the steps, I withdrew the letters from my purse. Taking a deep breath, I halted at his door, and I gave myself a moment to hope.

Hope that he still wanted me.

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