“So, are you gonna make me play the guessing game?” Les asks after the waitress leaves with our menus and dinner orders.
“I’m not seeing anyone.” That much is true. The sexual tension between Cash and me is all-consuming, but we’ve never even kissed.
“Is it the hottie who owns the club?” she says, completely ignoring my denial.
I swallow hard, almost squirming at how close she is to the truth.
“Itishim. I knew it.”
I’m already shaking my head, the truth sticking in my throat. Another swallow dislodges it, because she’s my best friend, and I need to tell someone. “It’s my boss.”
And just like that, the playfulness melts from her face. “Isn’t he married?”
It takes me five long seconds to answer. “Yes.”
“Jesus, Jules.” Her tone might be harsh, but sympathy underlies her expression. Because that’s who Les is. The most non-judgmental and caring person I know.
“I met him on the plane here. We had a…connection. But I didn’t know he was married.”
“You know I love you,” she says, leaning forward, “and I know you’re still hurting after what happened with Chris, but rebounding with your boss is the absolute worst thing you can do. There are so many other rebound-guys out there. Hell, I know Garen would help you take your mind off Chris, if you wanted him to. He’s a manwhore, sure, but he’s the most caring guy I’ve—”
“Les, it’s not rebound.”
In order to rebound, you still have to want your ex. The harsh truth is I barely think about Chris at all anymore.
“Then what is it? I mean, you’re not in love with the guy, right?”
I can’t answer. Because I can’t speak. Even worse, I can’t mask the truth washing over my face, turning my cheeks a deep shade of pink. A few rapid blinks of my eyes stave off the threat of shameful tears.
“Holy shit, Jules. You’re in love with him?”
“I’ve never felt this way before,” I say, shuddering out a breath. “Not even with Chris.”
“Does he feel the same?”
“I don’t know. I think so.” Lowering my attention to the napkin I’m shredding in my fingers, I add, “There are issues in his marriage that I can’t go into.”
“Did you sleep with him?”
I shake my head. “We haven’t done anything.”
Yet. The word echoes through my mind.
“Jules, I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but you’re my best friend and I care about you too much to not give it to you straight. You need to get out of this situation pronto.”
“He’s my boss, Les. Neither one of us expected this.”
“Then find a new job. Walking away now might hurt like hell, but imagine how much worse it’ll hurt when shit hits the fan.”
She’s right. And it’s nothing I haven’t already told myself a hundred times.
“I’m not sure I can walk away.”
“I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but you need to. Just rip it off like a bandaid.” She reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “Because married men don’t leave their wives.”
And that right there is the biggest truth of all. The last thing I want is to become a cliché; the mistress sleeping with her boss, forever waiting for him to leave his wife.
21. In the Shadows - Cash