Page 54 of Deviant

“I’ll be out in a couple of minutes.” As I enclosed myself inside the restroom, I let out a breath. The light over the sink flickered every couple of seconds. Grime lined the tiles, and the space had that dirty-restroom-smell that older buildings tended to have, especially when they weren’t properly cared for.

Great. I was about to get life-changing news in a filthy public restroom. I would have laughed if my heart wasn’t thrashing against my ribcage. I tore into the thin box and pulled the instructions out, followed by the foil pouch containing the test. The directions were simple enough. I settled in to do my business, then I waited. Three minutes later, I had my answer.

One missed pill, and one little stick to confirm my fuck-up.

Shit.

Rafe was going to kill me.

25. Homebound - Rafe

“He’s going to hate me.”

Alex sat in the passenger seat of the Jeep, her expression sullen. Maybe it was wedding jitters, or anxiety about returning home, but she’d been fucking moody as hell lately, ever since we’d gone into town for the gown fitting two weeks ago.

“He won’t hate you.” I darted a glance into the rearview and spotted Jax’s black pickup keeping pace behind us.

“I sent you to prison. Why wouldn’t he hate me?”

“That’s history, babe.”

She leaned her head against the window and watched a train chug along the Washington side of the Gorge, its colorful boxcars lined up like blocks on the hillside.

The truth was, I didn’t know how my brother was going to react to meeting Alex. Adam and I weren’t that close, and other than the few phone calls to check in and let him know I was still alive, we’d had little communication.

But he’d had a hand in restoring the island, and he’d welcomed the idea of using the vineyard as a venue for the wedding. I hadn’t detected any harsh feelings from him toward the woman who would become my wife. If anything, his tone had been neutral.

He knew the history.

The fact that she’d thrown me under the bus for something I hadn’t done. He might even suspect that she’d had something to do with the fires on the island and at the vineyard, since the arson committed against our family’s legacy had never been solved, and she’d re-entered my life about the same time.

But he hadn’t asked about it.

Fuck, for all I knew, Alex’s worry was justified, because there was a lot my brother didn’t know. A lot I could never tell him as he had no idea how sick and twisted I was down to my soul.

Alex had been wrong to lie all those years ago, but Adam had no fucking clue about my destructive, downward spiral after I got out. He didn’t know his own flesh and blood was a kidnapper, a step below a rapist. I might not have fucked her by force, but the threat had been there. It was a reality I often ignored, pushing it into the darkest corners of my mind to never resurface.

But the question emerged now.

What if shehadfought me? What if she’d said no? Would I have fucked her anyway?

Probably.

Trampling over her protests was what I did best, and shameful or not, that wasn’t changing.

The landscape of high desert gave way to forest, and soon the island appeared on the river, a shadow against a deep blue in the wake of the setting sun. I pulled onto the shoulder and motioned for Alex to get out of the car. The driver’s side door dinged as I stepped out, and I left it open as I rounded the hood and met her at the railing, arms winding around her waist from behind as we both stared at the island.

“Just a few more days,” I whispered into her ear.

Jax came to a stop behind the Jeep, but neither he nor Angel got out of the truck. Maybe they recognized a private moment when they saw one.

“It doesn’t look as bad as I remember,” Alex said.

“Some of the trees on the north side got lucky.” But others hadn’t escaped the lick of flames. The newly built cabin was in full view of the highway now, unobscured by the trees that used to offer privacy. We’d replant. The island would heal, same as us.

At least we had a home to return to in the meantime.

“I can’t wait to see it.”

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