Page 109 of Torch Songs

“It’s a girl,” he said proudly, holding the solidly wrapped squiddy thing up to be ogled.

Guthrie was suitably impressed. “Look what you made,” he said. “A squid.”

“I think there’s not enough arms and legs for a squid,” she said breathlessly. “I think we have to hope it turns human in a few weeks.”

“Let me know how that works for you,” he said soberly, and she laughed, weak and a little hysterical but happy.

“You say that like you’re not coming back,” she said, and he realized with a stab of panic that he hadn’t just made this promise to Tad. It was frightening enough knowing he could fuck up and not move to Colton when all this was done and break Tad’s heart, but this woman had held his hand while she squeezed out a baby. He wasstucknow, in this wonderful friendship, caught in the flypaper of amazing family before he even had a chance to fathom escape. “I can’t raise this kid alone, Guthrie. Me and Elton are going to need help!”

Guthrie wanted to guffaw. “We just left a giant party of about eighty people who would bedelightedto help,” he chided, and her scowl was terrifying.

“Yeah, but I only want so many of those people in my home,” she growled. “Now promise me. Not a bullshit promise. You can wipe the fuckers list out of existence. Promise me.” Her voicewobbled, and Guthrie looked to Elton for backup, but Elton was doing the responsible dad thing and accompanying the baby to the washing station and the eyeball station and all the other things they did to babies fresh out of the box before they gave them back to mom.

“PLEASE, GUTHRIE.”It was such a simple plea, and Guthrie stared at Tad in consternation. They were naked again, panting, their lovemaking written on their skin again, the night chill of Monterey seeping in through the floorboards of the hotel.

“I already promised,” he said, confused.

“It’s easy to break promises,” Tad said, and Guthrie scowled.

“Not for me,” he said. Hadn’t he proved that?

“I know that,” Tad told him. A faint sheen of sweat was drying on his forehead, and he was so earnest. “You promised we’d make the move. We’d be together. But being with you now—I think you’re wondering if it’s a dream. If once you have a chance to drive somewhere, anywhere, to get in your dying truck and go, you’ll forget that you have family. That you have a place. That people love you. All you’ll remember is one more goddamned obligation. Please, Guthrie. Let us be your dream.”

“You are,” he rasped, and his voice was so quiet he was afraid Tad hadn’t heard. “You are,” he said again. “You are my dream.” And he said it again and again until Tad kissed him to still the shaking that took him over as the reality swept through him, that all that reaching, all that yearning, and it was literally right here in his arms.

“PRINCESS,” HEsaid now to Olivia, “you all have made yourselves our dream. Tad might beat me here by a few weeks,but I’ll get here. Trust me, okay? I… I won’t have anywhere else to go.”

She smiled and laughed a little, and then Elton arrived with the real princess.

“Hello,” she murmured, forehead to forehead with Elton, both of them staring at the child cradled in his arms in awe. “I understand you’re a girl. Your daddy thought of the prettiest name?”

“Your grandpa thought of it first,” Elton murmured. “Trust me, kiddo, you got some awesome people to meet.”

The gaze of tenderness, of pride, that Olivia sent her husband then made it hard for Guthrie to swallow. Yeah, these kids were young—so young—but God, he thought they might make it.

“You’re killing us here,” Guthrie murmured, reaching across Olivia to run a finger along the downy little head. “What’d we name our little princess?”

He heard the name and smiled.

TWO HOURSlater, Larx, Aaron, and Christiana showed up in the hospital room, still dressed in their wedding finery.

“Tad’s waiting out in the hallway,” Larx said softly, since Olivia was sleeping. Elton stood over the bassinet in the corner, having just taken custody of their little princess from Guthrie, who had snuggled that charming creature to his heart as often as humanly allowed since they’d left the delivery room.

Guthrie took that as his cue and stood to go hug Elton, because it felt like the two of them had done something huge together.

Elton grinned at him. “Yeah, Guthrie, you were a part of this. That practically makes us brothers, you know.”

Guthrie felt his face heat. “That’s a kind thing to offer,” he said. “Watch out—I may come back and take you up on that.”

“You promised,” Elton told him soberly, and Guthrie bent down to kiss the downy little head for the umpteenth time.

“I did,” he murmured. “I keep promises like that. Anybody’ll tell ya. Give Livvy my love. I gotta leave early tomorrow, so I probably won’t see her. Tell her next time I come, I’ll have a baby gift, okay?”

“Just you,” Elton said happily.

“You’re killing me here,” Christiana said, holding out her arms. “Give her to me so I can tell her all the embarrassing things about her mother and make myself the favorite aunt of all times.”

Guthrie slid out of the room then, and let the familybea family, but boy was he glad to see Tad leaning against wall of the hallway when he got out.

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