Page 7 of A Bloodline Redeemed

“And,” River said with a wince, “even if their requests to use my power come from a place of good intentions… well, as you can see, sometimes I fail.Spectacularly.”

It hurt.The reminder of Hasumi’s loss made me see it all over again in my mind’s eye, the person I loveddissolvingbefore my eyes because they had attempted to protect me.A meaningless gesture, since River was able to yank me out of the way of the stupid fucking spell.But none of us had known that at the time.

A small, dark part of me still wanted to be angry at the shapeshifter, wanted to blame him for Hasumi’s death.But I knew that wasn’t fair.And the agony in River’s eyes as he watched me struggle with my feelings was proof enough that he had done the best he could.

“Even if you had all known about my abilities, I doubt any of your lovers would have simply stood there waiting for me to save you,” River said softly.“I’m so sorry Andy.Believe me, I tried.I tried so fucking hard to…” He stopped and cleared his throat.

“Its limited,” he said after a moment’s pause.“What I can do.It varies a little bit depending on the situation—the magic around me, how tired I am.But typically, I can only go back a little under a minute from the present.Sometimes, that tiny blip of time is enough to make a big difference.That’s why Bella sent me to the SA.I could sneak around more effectively than anyone else.And if I knew I was about to get caught, I could shift time just enough to loop back and take myself somewhere else.But sometimes, it’s nowhere near enough.”He swallowed some strong emotion, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.“I can do it a few times in a row, but every time I use the ability back-to-back, the window shrinks, and my innate magic is depleted.”

“You were so exhausted,” Zhong said quietly, his deep, rumbly voice full of compassion.“Back at the clearing.”

River huffed a bitter laugh.“I tried.Over and over.I just couldn’t get everyone out of the way in time, no matter how far I stretched the limits of my magic.”He squared his shoulders and glanced between Zong, Aahil, and me.“I know it sounds callous, but… the outcome could have been far worse.Would have been, if I hadn’t depleted every bit of magic I possessed trying to find a way to avoid catastrophe.”

Aahil scoffed, and I glanced at him to see a bitter sneer on his beautiful face.The sight caused a deep pang of pain in my gut.Goddess, he must feel so lost.So angry.And yet, nothing was on fire at the moment.So, I supposed he could sneer all he liked.

River met the jinn’s dangerous gaze head-on.“I know you don’t believe me,” he said flatly.“I know you’re hurting.But…” He glanced at me, then back at Aahil.“What if you had lost both of them?”

A muscle flexed in Aahil’s lean cheek as he clenched his jaw so hard I was afraid he was going to hurt himself.And still, no words escaped him.No poison or accusations.But his golden eyes were full of fire, blazing with fury.Or… maybe with panic at the thought of losingbothof his anchors?

“I watched youalldie,” River whispered, looking down as he fiddled with the trim on his makeshift crotch cover.“In one combination or another.This was the best I could do.The least casualties I could manage.”

Aahil launched himself so fast I didn’t even see him move.One moment, he was sitting there, seething.The next moment, he was pinning River to the ground, straddling the other man’s chest with a forearm against his throat.“Aahil!”I shouted, grabbing his free arm and attempting to pull him off the unresisting shifter.

“What’s one morecasualty,” the jinn hissed, not even looking at me.“He says the word like it’s such a small thing.Like it means nothing to him.Let me show him just howcasualmurder can be.”

His skin was burning hot, and my fingers felt scalded just from holding onto him.River’s skin was probably blistering.“It’s not his fault!”I snapped.“Blame the fucking cult, you idiot.Not the guy who saved my fucking life.Hell, if you really need someone to blame, blame me!”

I didn’t realize I felt that way until the words escaped my lips.Aahil’s furious gaze snapped to me at the same moment Zhong stood and bodily lifted the jinn off the shifter like he was picking up a misbehaving child.

“It’s no one’s fault!”the gargoyle snapped, plonking Aahil roughly down beside me and crossing his arms over his massive chest to glare down at us like a couple of idiots.He rarely directed any sort of anger toward me or the others in our little family.But he certainly seemed pissed off now.It was only then that I remembered the big gargoyle had a soft spot for the cat shifter.

River sat up, rubbing the reddened skin of his throat as he replaced his modesty pillow.“He’s right,” he said hoarsely.“As much as we might feel otherwise, as hard as it is to believe it, I didn’t cause Hasumi’s death.I simply couldn’t manage to prevent it.And it certainly wasn’tyourfault Andy.”He sighed.“Though I feared you would feel this way.I knew the moment I made the choice, that I would be hated for it.Just… keep the blame pointed at me, beautiful.Don’t turn it on yourself.”

I swallowed down the tears that wanted to escape, and my voice was shaky when I spoke.“But I’m alive, when Hasumi isn’t.You chose me.You should have saved Hasumi instead.”My hands fisted in the soft cushion beneath me.“I’m not worth anyone’s life.”

River snorted.Lifting a dark brow, he nodded toward Aahil and Zhong.“I think they’d disagree.And more importantly, I knew Hasumi just long enough to know that they would feel the same way.If given the choice, your weaver would have chosen you.”

He gave me a sad look.“Hasumididchoose you, the moment they stepped in front of that spell to shield you.”

I shook my head, but River reached out and gripped my shoulder, making me look at him.“You’re the center, Oleander.The glue that holds this whole place and all the people in it together.And even if that wasn’t the case…” His gaze was unwavering.“I couldn’t let you die.I just… couldn’t.It had to be you.”

The sob I had been trying to hold back finally escaped, and I found myself crushed between Zhong and Aahil, bawling like a baby.I wanted River to be wrong.I wanted to deny everything he had just said.But deep down, I knew he was right.At the very least, without me our pocket world sanctuary would collapse, leaving everyone at the mercy of the people who wanted to kill or use them.

And… maybe he was right about the rest too.It was a staggering thought, that I might mean so much to so many people.But the proof was right there, in the way Zhong petted my hair and Aahil—standoffish, emotionally constipatedAahil—clung to me as I cried.Somehow, I had become important for more than my coveted evil Lovell blood.

“I need to go,” River said, interrupting my life-altering epiphany.

I struggled free of Zhong and Aahil to look at River in surprise.“Go?Go where?”

He ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back away from his face.“Home.Back to Magea.”

A wave of panic hit me like a ton of bricks.He wanted to go home.To leave.

The strength of my reaction to that left me breathless."What?No!You can’t leave.”I reached for his hand, clutching it desperately.“I’m sorry.We’ve all been terrible to you, I know.None of this was your fault and… you did the best you could.I… thank you.Thank you for saving me.For saving the rest of them.I… you can’tleave.”

He tilted his head, giving me a strange, surprised look as he squeezed my hand in return.“I won’t be gone long.I just need to retrieve something from my old home.”

He… oh.I felt myself blush at the realization.He wasn’t planning toleaveleave.He wasn’t so fed up with us—withme—that he had decided he wanted nothing more to do with us.Why was that such a relief?

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