Page 9 of A Bloodline Redeemed

Elijah just blinked at me.Shit.Maybe the emotional rollercoaster of a day had damaged his soul link to his body or something.I quietly felt along the magic ties anchoring him to his new body.And to me.But everything seemed fine.

More than fine, actually.The spell I’d used to create the revenant I was currently straddling hummed along stronger than ever before.As if it fed off our romantic connection.

“Panic attack over?”Ambrose said, a wry tone in his voice.I had forgotten he was even there, for a moment.I watched him warily as he reached past my arm to pat Elijah on the shoulder.But he didn’t seem angry.

Elijah’s throat worked for a bit before he replied.“Uh.Yes, I suppose it is.”He studied Ambrose’s face as if it held the mysteries of the universe.Then he frowned.He opened his mouth to say something more, but Ambrose cut him off, sliding a sly but tired look between us.

“It looks like you two need a moment to talk.I’ll just go see if Niamh needs any help with the snacks.”

Then my strange… boyfriend—though the word still seemed so bizarre in my head—vanished in a swirl of shadows.Leaving me still hovering over a very confused and disheveled Elijah.

I sucked in a breath and went to stand up, but Elijah moved quickly, slapping a hand over mine, pinning it where it still rested over his heart.“Was it only Sunshine?”he said, the words tumbling out of him like he just couldn’t help it.

I tilted my head, trying to figure out what that strange expression on his face and the jumble of emotions I sensed through our bond all meant.“Was what only Sunshine?”I asked stupidly.

Elijah licked his lips, and my gaze was automatically drawn there.I was such a monster.My heart still ached with Hasumi’s loss—something I still hadn’t fully accepted—and yet, here I was wanting to kiss the angel again.What was wrong with me?

“This,” Elijah said, bringing me back to his question.“Us.Thatkiss,” he said, a rare hint of impatience showing through his usual angelic patience.“Was that all Sunny?Or… was it you?”

I sighed.The motion felt foolish, but I acted before I could give it too much thought, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Elijah’s forehead.“I started it.Sunny just got a little pushy when he realized I was finally done being a stubborn asshole.”

I pulled away from Elijah so I could stop hovering over the man and sit next to him on the couch.Awkwardness wanted to creep in, stealing my confidence and my fragile belief that it was okay to want things… to wantthis.And to expect my feelings to actually be reciprocated.I shoved the old habit away and pretended like I knew what I was doing.

Elijah sighed and ran a hand through his shiny, tumbled golden waves.“But you said you weren’t interested.You said it was just the bond making me feel things I shouldn’t.And…” He dropped his hand and met my eyes, his blue gaze filled with anguish.“I’m just a walking corpse to you.A revenant.Just another shambling, undead thing your magic created.”

I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest, pissed off with myself for lying to him.For ever making him doubt his own worth.Goddess, it wasn’t justmewho was hurt by my lack of faith in myself.And I was determined to finally end that nonsense right now.

Bracing myself for rejection, I took his warm hand in my corpse-cold one.“First of all,” I reminded him with a wry grimace, “It’s a tossup which one of us is really most alive.The revenant, or the witch who only lives because of the dark magic and chaotic whims of a wraith.”I sighed and squeezed his hand, trying to find the right words to make him understand.

Elijah simply waited, as patient and gentle as always.

“My turning you away had nothing to do with you,” I said truthfully.“I’m an insecure, silly mortal—a fact that Sunny reminds me of daily.And I let my own insecurities get the best of me.”I faltered, groaning at my own awkwardness.Then I soldiered on.

“Damn it, I thought I wasn’tgood enoughfor you, Elijah.”I shook my head.“I still don’t think I am.But it isn’t the stupid bond that makes me want you.And if I’m being honest with myself, I don’t think the bond could create feelings that aren’t real.Amplify them, maybe.Or distort them into something twisted if I really put my mind and my magic to it….”I shook my head.“But I’d never do that to you.So, I can’t hide behind the maker’s bond as an excuse any longer.”

I stopped to catch my breath, knowing I was saying everything all wrong, but somehow unable to keep from yammering.

Elijah’s thumb traced over the back of my hand, and I watched as it traveled over my knobby knuckles and visible blue veins.“Why now?”he asked quietly.“What changed your mind?”

And there was the pain again, churning inside me, sharp as broken glass.

“Hasumi,” I said, my voice wavering idiotically.

Elijah’s pale brows rose for a second, but then he nodded.“Of course.Losing someone often makes people realize that time is limited.I know a bit about regret, about not saying and doing all you can while you have the chance.”

I shook my head.“No.Well, yes.There is that.But I meant before… well, before today.”I ran my free hand over the back of my neck, knowing I’d be beet red, if I had the blood and warmth to blush.“Hasumi was very adamant that I was being stupid where you were concerned and that I should just get over it and accept that itisapparently possible for others—besides Andy and Ambrose—to love a repulsive monster like me.”

I froze when a warm hand cupped my cheek, forcing me to stop rambling and look into those captivatingly bright blue eyes.

“You’re not a monster, Dyre.I’veneverseen a monster when I look at you,” he said earnestly.“I see a man who has been through horrors many can’t even imagine, and who despite all of that carries himself with power and grace.I see a man who has every reason to be cruel, and cold, and selfish, but who instead uses his cleverness and all his skills and power to help and protect his newfound family, even when he doesn’t think he’s worthy of their love.”

He smiled, sweet and sad at the same time.“I see a man who doesn’t realize how beautiful, and strong, and uniquely compelling he really is.”He shrugged one shoulder, his gaze never leaving mine.“I’ve always seen you, Dyre.I just never thought it would even be a possibility to do anything but admire you from a distance.Until you gave me a body.Now I’m an abomination with the desire for more.”

I blinked rapidly, fighting the moronic urge to cry.“You say you don’t see a monster when you look at me.But I don’t see an abomination when I look atyou,”I told him adamantly.“I don’t see a creation, or a walking corpse the way you seem to think.I see a person—one who is unfailinglygood.Who saved us all when we were trapped in that book, simply by keeping hope alive and seeking out a Lovell who wasn’t like the others.By having thecapacityto trust her, even after you had been so used and betrayed.”I shook my head, unable to accurately relay everything I saw in him.“When I look at you, I seelight, Elijah.And not because you’re a literal angel.It’s because of who you are.I see someone so empathetic and understanding and fuckingpatientwith all of us.How could I ever look at you and see anything but the amazing man you are?Ghost or alive.Revenant or whatever else you want to call yourself… you are nothing short of amazing, Elijah.I’d have to be blindandbrain dead to not see that.

Elijah laughed.The deep, rich sound was like music, filling the cold, empty spaces inside and around me.I was a complete sap.How could a simple laugh make me feel like this?Goddess help me, save me from turning into some lovesick twat who sits in his room writing poetry all day.

Sunshine’s dark chuckle rippled through my mind.Too late.

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